Wonkette

Conservatives have a brand new nickname for Hillary Clinton, and it is even worse than “Hillz,” “Hillaryous,” “Downhillary,” or any of the other meaningless terrible nicknames that liberals usually throw around. That new nickname is “Hill-Rod,” which Hillary Clinton used in the WWE promotion that the liberal elitists refused to watch because it made their vaginas hurt. MORE »

After the actual candidates’ messages to World Wrestling Entertainment’s viewers, there was a fake match — the first fake match in Wrestling History — featuring two faux candidates. What else to say? Our tipster sums it up nicely: “In an election cycle where wrestler endorsements are announced with fanfare, and public statements on WWE and American Idol, this is not the most disheartening low-culture moment of the campaign. But I did yearn for Bill Clinton to come back so we can farcically caricature politicians in ways that won’t lead us into a prolonged round of headshaking. The amatuer wrestler portraying Bill is the saving grace of the day the profession of politics died.” It is the most authentic moment of the past seven weeks, years, or decades. [YouTube]

What do poor, stupid Americans love more than anything? Sitting on the couch and eating buckets of fried chicken while watching televised wrasslin’, that’s what! Here’s Hillary promising to “stick it up your ass” if you don’t vote for her, and Barack threatening to “send you to white concentration camps” for being so fat and dumb, and John McCain being used as a folding chair to comically knock the teeth out of a wrestler called “WAL-NUTZ Da Destroya.” [YouTube]

In order to lock down the Blue Collars, Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama and John McCain will each appear on the World Wrestling Entertainment show “Monday Night Raw” tonight. No this is not a joke at all, it’s something that’s happening the night before an important presidential primary. MORE »

As some of you may recall, WWE wrestler Ric “The Nature Boy” Flair recently endorsed Teh Huckbeez right around the start of his surge in the polls. But does Ric Flair mean shit in the heirarchy of pro wrestling? Bitch. Please. Enter wrestling god Glenn Jacobs, stage name “Kane,” who has endorsed Ron Paul. After the jump, learn more about this monster Paultard. MORE »

Washington people just never quit working. Bill Kristol rises early to have breakfast with congressmen, Michael Chertoff spends Friday nights securing the homeland’s movie theaters, and Valerie Plame reads political non-fiction on street corners cause she can’t get enough. And kindly father Alito (at right — ain’t he loveable?) spends his weekends carting his daughter’s luggage all over 37th street. This plus philandering soccer players, jaywalking TV gangsters, and mustachioed wrestlers, after the jump!

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* Yes! There is a God! Er, um — that stuff is gross, he’s so perverted. [AP] MORE »

And the wrestling pictures keep coming in.

We asked earlier which end of the political divide has the cuter operatives — the Republicans jumped to answer our call, sending in more goofy pics of them and theirs with giagantic, unshaven wrestlers/future Governors. Ah, the lovely ladies (and one guy) of the RNC — above, Angel Paulson, Gabi Plumlee, and Mina Nguyen (and a wrestler).

So, Democrats — what’s up? The rest of your competition is after the jump:

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Hotline is way, way more fun than usual today. Apparently, the WWE, tired of mere “rocking” of the vote, has gone the next step and started “Smackdown the Vote,” which provides the funniest method yet for political strategists to desperately grasp at the youth vote. They had an event last Monday night. Hotline went stayed home. But someone sent in the pictures:

Bill Burton, the DCCC’s communications director, Ali Wade, the campaign director, and Jon Vogel, the northeast political director, are pictured here with wrestler Mick Foley. MORE »