Tag Archives: world war iii

 

Northeast U.S. fiber-optic lines sabotaged by gunfire; Internet slows to a crawl. [Network News]
 

World War III Briefly Delayed; Mexico Apologizes For Mocking Our Retarded Beauty Queen

Several months or maybe even years ago, one of our civilization’s nightly televised beauty contests was held somewhere in Mexico, and the American contestant was even more comically challenged than the usual beauty queens, and she fell on her ass after mumbling some incorrect Spanish, and all the Mexicans laughed and laughed and booed the USA. Read more on World War III Briefly Delayed; Mexico Apologizes For Mocking Our Retarded Beauty Queen…
 

Hey Mexicans, Leave Your Dope At Home, In Mexico!

As millions of angry Mexican laborers cripple U.S. cities with massive pro-immigration protests — or not, because they’re too scared of being deported — white Americans are having a crucial debate about the tragic crisis in the comments of this New York Times’ blog we just found. Here’s a sample; join us after the jump for much, much more: WE MUST MAKE THESE IMMIGRANTS BECOME LEGAL AND ALSO LEARN ENGLISH LANGUAGE AND BE ABLE TO READ ROAD SIGNS BEFORE WE ALL GET KILLED. THIS IS TERRIBLE THAT THEY HAVE THEIR OWN WAY OF SPEAKING AND OF DOING THINGS IN OUR COUNTRY. Also, leave the dope in their country we don’t need it here Read more on Hey Mexicans, Leave Your Dope At Home, In Mexico!…
 

13 Slick Dudes, 1 Midget Lesbian & 1 Babushka

Hooray for the freedom of the British sailors who were only following orders and trying to instigate war with Iran! And wow, this gang puts the “hot” back in … uh, “hot-stages.” We are pretty sure they weren’t doing boat patrol in those Justin Timberlake suits. A Wonkette Operative writes: Read more on 13 Slick Dudes, 1 Midget Lesbian & 1 Babushka…
 

Happy Good Friday! U.S. Attack On Iran Just One Day Away

We saw this story on Sunday and blew it off — those wacky Associated Press and Jerusalem Post reporters and their April Fools jokes! — but might as well post it now: The U.S. will start bombing Iran on Friday, “from 4 a.m. until 4 p.m. on April 6.” Hooray! Read more on Happy Good Friday! U.S. Attack On Iran Just One Day Away…
 

Terrifying Run-Up To WWIII Provides Opportunity For Dick Joke

So, uh, in case you thought that, what with the whole thing in Iraq not going so well and the Army and Marines caught in a death spiral of losses of men and equipment, maybe we wouldn’t be invading Iran … well, it turns out that we will, in fact, be invading Iran. Read more on Terrifying Run-Up To WWIII Provides Opportunity For Dick Joke…