Tag Archives: world trade center

  You're fucked too Portland

Seattle To Be Destroyed By Biggest Earthquake Ever, Bye Seattle!

The comments section at Gawker?
OK, Portland and Seattle Wonkers, this is a public service announcement. We are going to need you to find buddies in the comments section (which does not exist), and beg them to let you crash on their couch, because you guys are going to have a REALLY BIG EARTHQUAKE. Yeah, maybe you already knew that, but the rest of America is finding out now, thanks to a fascinating long-read in The New Yorker on what may end up being the biggest natural disaster in U.S. American history. This isn’t some wussy San Andreas Fault 7-point whatever business, this is more along the lines of the 2011 quake in Tōhoku, Japan, which registered 9.0 on the Richter scale and triggered the tsunami that triggered the Fukushima nuclear reactor meltdowns. This is big shit. Read more on Seattle To Be Destroyed By Biggest Earthquake Ever, Bye Seattle!…
  priorities people

George W. Bush Probably Too Busy Clearing Brush To Attend 9/11 Memorial Museum. Thanks Obama!

You might have noticed some news about the dedication of a museum honoring an American history event, a little thing hardly worth mentioning called 9/11. Bamz, who wasn’t doing anything else today, so whatevs, roused himself to tour the museum, as did the Clintons, and Michael Bloomberg and Bill de Blasio and Rudy Giuliani (like Rudy could miss such a thing). Bamz even gave a nice little speech about the whole thing. But guess who was missing? Did you guess Bernie Kerik? We do not think he was there because he is maybe still in jail? We’re not going to look that up. Haha the big no-show was George W. Bush, who decided to just send a statement instead. Read more on George W. Bush Probably Too Busy Clearing Brush To Attend 9/11 Memorial Museum. Thanks Obama!…
  probably just sit at home with pals ben and jerry

Poor Obama Has Nowhere To Celebrate 9/11 This Year :(

We all know that 9/11 is the best holiday ever. It’s like Christmas and the Fourth of July and Halloween combined! Dick Cheney is alive right now just because he willed himself to see another 9/11. But according to Politico, who have labeled the situation “awkward,” like a 19-year-old coed, Barack Obama has nowhere to go this year. The site in Pennsylvania where that one plane ran into the ground? Michelle and Laura Bush are going to be there, so that 9/11 place is for girls. Eww! 9/11 cooties! Obama can’t go to the Pentagon, because he went there last year, and everyone knows that that one isn’t important enough to visit twice. As for the World Trade Center site, well, umm, there will be anti-mosk protesters there. Read more on Poor Obama Has Nowhere To Celebrate 9/11 This Year :(…
  flick your zippo on for photos of 9/11

Rock Out To the Latest Anti-Mosque Anthem This Weekend!

Sure, you’ve heard “We’ve Got to Stop the Mosque At Ground Zero,” but have you heard “SALT IN THE WOUND”? Hatred and images of people dying in a terrorist attack never sounded so upbeat! Read more on Rock Out To the Latest Anti-Mosque Anthem This Weekend!…
  head shot

Somebody Wants To Murder Al Franken’s Condo

Minneapolis police are investigating CRUDE VIOLENCE, after Al Franken’s wife reported that the Frankens’ condo had been shot. The condo seems to be in stable condition, although a window was cracked. Interestingly, Al Franken just came out very strongly against the opponents of the proposed New York Muslim community center. Are Minnesotans trying to KILL Al Franken’s condo because it’s associated with this Muslin senator? Read more on Somebody Wants To Murder Al Franken’s Condo…
  adorable just adorable

Roy Blunt Uses Smoldering 9/11 Ruins In Mosque Ad, Which Is a Gaffe Apparently

Missouri Republican Senate candidate Roy Blunt put up this Web ad yesterday, featuring audio from his opponent, Robin Carnahan, and a single Ken Burns-effected photo of the smoldering ruins of the World Trade Center. Wow, this is such a cute ad! How did he accomplish this cuteness without the use of kittens? So this is a gaffe, apparently, and it was taken down. But the Blunt campaign has since put out the exact same ad with a different image, that of Obama and Carnahan. Our head of state, you see, is a Muslim who wants to take over America with his terrorism, and that, that is not a gaffe in today’s America, but rather good politics. Read more on Roy Blunt Uses Smoldering 9/11 Ruins In Mosque Ad, Which Is a Gaffe Apparently…
  hengh-gliding

Pat Buchanan Grumbles Out Some Truth About Fellow ’90s Has-Been Newt Gingrich

Here’s Pat Buchanan talking about former House Speaker “Nude” Gingrich on this never-ending mosque bullshit non-issue. And he’s actually very right! Wow, there you go. A nice summary of the breadth of contemporary Republican political tactics. Looks like some pundits are more capable than a grilled cheese sandwich, even when they’re just residue somebody scraped from the crusty old remains of yesteryear. This man is like a grilled cheese sandwich WITH TOMATO! Read more on Pat Buchanan Grumbles Out Some Truth About Fellow ’90s Has-Been Newt Gingrich…
  surprise!

Sarah Palin Continues To Hate America

Sarah Palin continues to be a major critic of President Barack Obama. Why are people giving her a platform? Why would anyone think she has any particular insight into national issues and how our federal government should operate? Wouldn’t it be cheaper just to mic up a grilled cheese sandwich and ask it questions? But at least she adds to the diversity of the medium, because unlike most people on our teevee boxes, she hates the United States of America. Read more on Sarah Palin Continues To Hate America…
  hate=bald eagles and apple pie

Newt Gingrich Continues To Be Terrible On Mosque Issue, Is Joined By Anti-Defamation League

Newt Gingrich is very busy! Look, there he is, saying Sarah Palin will run for president! And wow, he wants us to explode the other two members of the “Axis of Evil!” But more importantly, it is his job to stoke fear over the proposed mosque near the World Trade Center site, so it is no surprise he is using that hate to raise money for himself. You know what is a surprise? The Anti-Defamation League is joining him in this hate. Read more on Newt Gingrich Continues To Be Terrible On Mosque Issue, Is Joined By Anti-Defamation League…
  oh noes newt

Attention Bigots: There Is Already a Mosque Near the WTC Site

Wonkette operative “Evan B.” writes: “The debate over the planned mosque at Ground Zero seems a bit retarded to me; I work directly between the planned mosque and a mosque that has existed before 9/11 and continues to operate to this day. The existing mosque and the proposed mosque are probably 800 feet apart; one city block, let’s say.” This is humorous! LISTEN UP, HATEFUL ASSHOLES: The end is near! The Muslins have already invaded that city you call godless yet love because terrorism happened there! YOU ARE RIGHT TO BE VERY, VERY SCARED AND ANGRY ABOUT THIS! So you have to kill yourselves right now! It is the only way! Read more on Attention Bigots: There Is Already a Mosque Near the WTC Site…
  yep time to run for president

Newt Gingrich Makes Up for Being Late on Manhattan Mosque Thing by Being Extra Wrong and Hateful

For weeks now, conservatives have been getting riled up over the proposed construction of a planned Muslim community center somewhat near the World Trade Center site. That is not an acceptable religion, you see, for America. Newt Gingrich finally rolled off his Japanese pillowcase-girlfriend and decided to wade into this with some really good, fresh ideas. “There should be no mosque near Ground Zero in New York so long as there are no churches or synagogues in Saudi Arabia.” Charming! Read more on Newt Gingrich Makes Up for Being Late on Manhattan Mosque Thing by Being Extra Wrong and Hateful…
  piratofascism

Terrorist Ship That Was Rammed Into Ye Olde Worlde Trade Centre Discovered

Workers are excavating the World Trade Center site (Not done yet? What is this, union labor?), and on Tuesday, they found a giant 18th-century ship stuck in there. How? Well, back then terrorists were called “pirates.” (Evil liberal Hollywood has made empathize with pirates, but they were TERRORISTS OF THE SEAS.) And these pirates hated nothing more than our freedom (for white English male property owners)! So they drove their ship up Manhattan and right into the side of the Dutch East Indian Company Worlde Trade Centre. Read more on Terrorist Ship That Was Rammed Into Ye Olde Worlde Trade Centre Discovered…
  put a boot in that mosque's ass

Peter King Not Going To Let You Worship Al Qaeda Near Ground Zero

Long Island Congressman and ranking Republican on the House Homeland Security Committee Peter King wants there to be an investigation into the funding of a proposed mosque to be built near the World Trade Center site in New York City, because terrorists are the only Muslims in the world with money, right? “It’s a house of worship, but we are at war with Al Qaeda,” King said. Muslims worship Al Qaeda! Makes sense. We wouldn’t want Muslims to think they are welcome near Ground Zero, because that might show we don’t hate them and do allow them to be free in our country. Read more on Peter King Not Going To Let You Worship Al Qaeda Near Ground Zero…
  yes you did

Did You Know That Scott Brown Made 9/11 Happen, Too?

It must have been “Rent-A-Republican” morning at the DSCC, because an advertisement error this avoidable could only have been produced by John McCain, or his daughter: “The image in the attack on Scott Brown for his alleged closeness to Wall Street pictures the [World] Trade Center and the destroyed Marriott Hotel on its western side.” Damn! OF ALL THE BUILDINGS IN NEW YORK CITY! Nary an American will forget where they were when they first saw those images of the Marriott Hotel crashing. Read more on Did You Know That Scott Brown Made 9/11 Happen, Too?…
 

Homeless Bum Finds Plans To New World Trade Center, Is Still Homeless

A hobo in New York came across SECRET/ CONFIDENTIAL plans for the new World Trade Center buildings in some trash can in SoHo. “Experts said the detailed, floor-by-floor schematics contain enough detail for terrorists to plot a devastating attack. ‘Secure Document – Confidential,’ warns the title page on each of the two copies of the 150-page schematic that a homeless, recovering drug addict discovered in the public trash can.” Phew, good thing this hobo wasn’t Osama! It sure requires intense knowledge of the circuit boards in the building when you’re planning to blow it up with a 747. Now that hobo can enjoy being famous, in Guantanamo Bay. [NY Post] Read more on Homeless Bum Finds Plans To New World Trade Center, Is Still Homeless…