Here is a bit of information that will actually make you stupider for knowing it: the planet’s wealthiest nations are run by a cabal of midgets. Russian President Dimitri Medvedev is barely large enough to get on the Ferris wheel at your average theme park, for example. The inverse correlation between height and political power explains Robert Reich’s terrifying reign as the Emperor of North America, and why pint-sized John McCain will be our 44th president. [ABC News]

This is the most crucial segment of Michelle Obama’s amazing visit to The View, in which the ladies discuss Mrs. Obama’s fierce guns, Whoopi Goldberg congratulates her for having teeth without gold around them, and Barbara Walters bitches about pantyhose. Then Michelle tells a cute story about her ten-year-old daughter, who can’t pass any laws. [RedLasso]

Photo credit: NYT via AP via Canadian Press

Once we saw the above picture in the Times, we knew we had on our hands a motherlode of hilariously awkward Presidential photos. The wires did not disappoint. After the jump, join us in a moving pictorial tribute to President Bush’s awesome Vietnam adventure.

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• Israeli officials said the current Lebanon offensive will last for weeks, and ground forces have not been ruled out. The Israeli death toll is 24, the Lebanese is at 200+. US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice will travel to the Middle East “to try to resolve the crisis,” according to administration officials, but there’s no word as to when. [WP, NYT]

• The key to escalating or defusing the conflict may rest with Syrian President Bashar Assad — a “diplomatic neophyte,” and the subject of President Bush’s on-mic strategizing at the G8 summit. [W$J]
• President Bush says he will use his very first veto on any bill providing federal funding for stem cell research. [WP, Roll Call]
• A live microphone at a dinner at the G8 summit picked up and broadcast President Bush discussing policy, swearing, and interacting with other world leaders. [WP, NYT]
• Senator Lindsay Graham, a former military lawyer, is fighting the Bush administration on detainee rights and court-martials. [NYT]
• Rep. Cynthia McKinney (D-GA) faces a three-way Democratic primary. McKinney, who hit a Capitol Police officer with a cell phone four months ago, is expected to win handily. [The Hill]
• The House of Representatives approved a treaty to protect polar bears. [AP]

Bush is in Germany, partying hard with his new bestest friend, Angela Merkel. Our deep embedded German operative reports seeing the President drink beer on German television, as well as goofily conduct a band and say the only German phrase he knows, “Guten Tag.” Der Spiegel has a funny video! Well, it’s not really funny, but it’s narrated in German, which makes it kinda funny. The pictures to the left constitute our only excuse for running this post. MORE »

Castro doesn’t seem to be dead. MORE »

Here is the video of Vladimir Putin kissing a little boy. Like a kitten. On the stomach. Yeah, it’s kind of weird, but what’s weirder is that the Russian press seems to be taking this all very, very seriously. C’mon, guys, loosen up — no one cared when Silvio Berlusconi [didn't] hump that meter maid. MORE »

Update: Correction Appended MORE »