Tag Archives: world bank

  great zombies of our time

Rude Failure Larry Summers Is A Candidate For Another Top Job

Let’s go through the last 15-20 years of perfect, brilliant top economist Larry Summers’ career: He joined Robert Rubin and Alan Greenspan in their successful attempt to tear down long-standing financial regulations and keep derivatives totally unmonitored as a Treasury official and then secretary during the Clinton administration, directly leading to the 2008 financial collapse; he became President of Harvard, where he was a total failure who was eventually kicked out; he made $20+ million giving bad advice and speeches to gullible financial firms; he returned to government to head President Obama’s economic team, where he was overbearing, crude to his colleagues, and incorrect about the depth and severity of the Great Recession; and then he went back to his plum sinecure at Harvard, where everyone hopes he will stay, quietly, forever. But oh, what’s that, the World Bank is in need of a new president? And who is at the top of the list? Read more on Rude Failure Larry Summers Is A Candidate For Another Top Job…
  sexytime

Everyone In DC To Die Of Pig Flu, Too

Here’s Joe Biden this morning telling us all that we’re going to die if we travel in confined spaces (2:35 in). Hooray! And better yet, the swine flu has finally “come home” to our nation’s capital, Washington, after some slob at the World Bank (*shakes fist at World Bank*) went to Mexico, fucked a pig, and came back to our fairest city with this Pig AIDS. So hey people in DC, liquidate yr bank accounts and buy booze and we’ll hold a big orgy on the Mall tonight before we all die tomorrow. On the upside, this will fix the economy! The death of all humans, that is. [AP] Read more on Everyone In DC To Die Of Pig Flu, Too…
 

Stupid October Rebellion Gets Bloody-ish

The Jacobin fury over the IMF and World Bank having some meetings this weekend continues! As we mentioned last week, a disorganized (but furious) band of marauders called the October coalition has been holding protests and demonstrations since Thursday, most notably the “Disrupt Georgetown!” rally last Friday which targeted flaneuring Victorian plutocrats and their soily “silk-lined bedsheets.” No joke, blood was spilled outside of an Abercrombie & Fitch! And they’re outside Capitol Hill today! And the IMF and World Bank don’t give a shit! Photos (via the Georgetown Voice) and mild commentary after the jump. Read more on Stupid October Rebellion Gets Bloody-ish…
 

Georgetown Has Money? We Should Pillage Georgetown

A band of roving progressive pirates have planned a series of events from today through Sunday to “confront Neoliberalism in Washington.” Clearly displaced from all liberal contexts itself, this “October coalition” has the goal in mind of pissing off the IMF and World Bank as much as possible. This weekend’s events will overlap with the IMF and World Bank’s annual meetings, where officials will be devising evil Ponzi schemes to fuck over Uruguay, redefining foreign AIDS relief as “send rat poison to Africa” and championing usury over debt amnesty. The main event, “Disrupt Georgetown!” comes Friday, Oct. 19 at 9 p.m. (after the 5-7 p.m. “Snack” time). We’re still not really sure what it is, but it looks like raping, pillaging and general marauding will be involved, money will die etc etc. Read more on Georgetown Has Money? We Should Pillage Georgetown…
 

You’ve just written a book called Evaluating a Decade of World Bank Gender Policy: 1990-99. Problem: how to get people to read something called Evaluating a Decade of World Bank Gender Policy: 1990-99? Solution: subliminal cover photography. [Amazon] Read more on …
 

New World Bank Head Already Almost as Reviled as Wolfie

Robert Zoellick has been in charge of the World Bank for less than two weeks and already everyone hates him. China, Russia, Mexico, Argentina, and a couple other countries we don’t give a shit about are all pissed at Bob for publishing a report mentioning how shittily all of those countries are governed. Read more on New World Bank Head Already Almost as Reviled as Wolfie…
 

Wolfowitz Bids Farewell, Promises To Screw Up Something Else Soon

Today, the world mourns as the proud leader of its bank, Paul Wolfowitz, forever leaves the institution he single-handedly reformed and revived. Wolfowitz, beloved architect of America’s Eternal Victory in Iraq, tells the Financial Times that for his next disastrous job, he’s got a number of disadvantaged countries in his sights. If you live in any of these places, you might want to consider moving soon: Read more on Wolfowitz Bids Farewell, Promises To Screw Up Something Else Soon…
 

Paul Wolfowitz Is Having a Bad Day

Considering the vast number of fake MySpace profiles we run across each and every day while searching for yet more hot pictures of Cate Edwards and Rose Kennedy Schlossberg, it takes a lot to impress, or even slightly amuse us. This Wolfowitz one, we’re happy to say, slightly amused us. Read more on Paul Wolfowitz Is Having a Bad Day…
 

Bob Zoellick’s Girlfriend to Get Raise

PNAC pnabob Robert Zoellick has been pnominated to replace Paul Wolfowitz at the World Bank. Zoellick is well-respected around the world despite believing many of the same execrable neo-con ideas as Wolfie, but Bob’s less responsible for Iraq, so he gets a pass. Read more on Bob Zoellick’s Girlfriend to Get Raise…
 

Shocker: Wolfucker Bitchy, Entitled

Has there ever been anyone so wronged as poor Shaha Ali RZA? The poor woman was forced into a promotion and a hefty raise, and she has to sleep with Paul Wolfowitz. It’s no wonder she’s lashing out. Read more on Shocker: Wolfucker Bitchy, Entitled…
 

Wolfowitz Has Greatness, Resignation Thrust Upon Him

Paul Wolfowitz, tragic hero. The friend who saw Mr. Wolfowitz’s term at the bank as a second chance said: “It was not that he was looking for a redemption from Iraq per se. But he was certainly looking for something to do as a great man in foreign policy, which is how he has always seen himself.” Don’t worry, Paul. Chris Hitchens may be the only person left on Earth you have a lick of credibility left with, but we still consider you a great man in foreign policy. It takes a great man to fuck it up this grandly for so many years to come. And way to take down the World Bank on your way out! What’s next for Paul, anyway? We have some suggestions for the great one, based on other institutions we’d like to see destroyed. Read more on Wolfowitz Has Greatness, Resignation Thrust Upon Him…
 

WOLFIE RESIGNED HEY EVERYONE

Shoeless Paul Wolfowitz will quit the World Bank on June 30th, the bank announced today. They apparently agreed to pay him that huge severance package. According to the Board, “blah blah acted ethically and in good faith blah blah we’ll all miss him etc etc.” Read more on WOLFIE RESIGNED HEY EVERYONE…
 

Critics Urge Wolfowitz to Resign and Spend More Time on his Lawn

World Bank President Paul Wolfowitz: Is he resigning? Have talks halted? Most importantly, is he a good neighbor? While a straight answer on the first two questions seems impossible to find, anyone who picked up the Times today can figure out the last one. One creepy tipster explains: Read more on Critics Urge Wolfowitz to Resign and Spend More Time on his Lawn…
 

URGENT WOLFOWITZ NEWS

FLASH… WOLFOWITZ MIGHT RESIGN, SOMEDAY… MAYBE… The precise wording of what the bank would say, and what Mr. Wolfowitz would say, were not known as of mid-afternoon. Nor was it known whether the negotiations would lead to an actual resignation today. Some officials said the conversation could continue into the evening or into Thursday. Read more on URGENT WOLFOWITZ NEWS…
 

Paul Wolfowitz Won’t Resign When It’s Overcast

Shoeless Paul still won’t resign from the World Bank, and the board still can’t decide how to make him go without firing him. It’s a bit like a Mexican standoff, except for how it gets more tedious instead of intense as it endlessly drags on. Read more on Paul Wolfowitz Won’t Resign When It’s Overcast…
 

OMG OMG WOLFOWITZ UNETHICAL!

7 of the 24 members of the World Bank’s board declared Bank head Paul Wolfowitz a total bastard in a scathing report issued last night. He still doesn’t want to quit. The committee has encouraged the board to punish him in some vague fashion. Europe keeps threatening to stop giving the Bank any money. Dick Cheney is still saying things on Fox News from Jordan, where he has crowned himself King. Paul keeps issuing his own crazy statements left and right. At some point, in the confusion, he admitted that only he and he alone would ever want anything to do with Shaha Ali RZA, his mistress. Read more on OMG OMG WOLFOWITZ UNETHICAL!…
 

Condi Just Called to Say She Loves Paul

Condi Rice has been calling up a couple overseas friends lately. Just to catch up, you know? See how they’re doing? Oh, and to ask that they please stop asking for Paul Wolfowitz to resign. Read more on Condi Just Called to Say She Loves Paul…
 

The Wolfucker Demands Your Respect

Shaha Ali RZA, the woman just to the side of the center of the current World Bank scandal, would like you to know that just because her boyfriend Paul Wolfowitz got her a promotion and raise, she’s no bimbo. No, as he dating Paul Wolfowitz proves, she’s actually just an idiot. Someone can know 50 languages and still be a complete moron, that’s the magical thing about Washington. Read more on The Wolfucker Demands Your Respect…
 

BREAKING: WOLFOWITZ QUITS (?) … WORLD (BANK) SAVED

So we hear. More to come! If you’re at the World Bank, go ahead and forward the memo over to us. KTHX! Otherwise we will have to take this down in a few hours. UPDATE: Jesus christ, people. Can’t you have Dan Rather fake a memo or something? UPDATE II: No, we don’t mean the aide guy who “stepped down,” although our unsubstantiated-gossip tipster may have made that mistake. Well, we’re still hopeful! Add your rumors to the comments! UPDATE III: Ohhh, okay, so he is being forced out but not today? Make of it what you will: Read more on BREAKING: WOLFOWITZ QUITS (?) … WORLD (BANK) SAVED…
 

World Bank Still Hasn’t Buried Paul

The World Bank promised to officially declare that Paul Wolfowitz is an unethical prick last Saturday, so, naturally, their committee is expected to finally deliver their report at the end of this week. They’ve already let it be known that the board will decide that Paul violated conflict of interest rules, so at this point they’re just deciding whether they’ll recommend an outright firing or a “vote of no confidence” that would allow this whole mess to drag on another couple weeks — guess which course of action we’re predicting they’ll take? Read more on World Bank Still Hasn’t Buried Paul…