Tag Archives: work

  There Are No Computers In The Bible Either

Very Sane Montana Republican Will Let You Retire At 600, Maybe

Also paid no boat license fee
In Montanastan, there’s this rich techie guy, Greg Gianforte, a Republican who’s giving some thought to running for governor in 2016, just like every other successful business guy who’s ever thought that running a state is exactly like running a tech company. He’s very big on evangelical Christianity, and thinks that people ought to live their faith — like maybe never retiring, because there’s no such thing as retirement in the Bible. Just how literally he wants people to take that is open to question. Read more on Very Sane Montana Republican Will Let You Retire At 600, Maybe…
  quiet rooms

Why Does Barack Obama Hate Rich People Today?

After years of trying to hide his commie pinko inclinations with aggressive free market policies and inclinations towards a deregulatory economic landscape, President Obama is FINALLY letting his socialist freak flag fly–and he’s doing it in PUBLIC, no less, where he has been talking about income inequality and its effect on America’s social fabric. Did you forget that he had made some big speeches about the middle class this week? We did too, because we were busy being distracted by Anthony Weiner‘s Carlos Danger’s penis, but luckily, the New York Times has written an article about Obama’s pivot to open socialist commie Marxism, (probably to distract everyone from BENGHAZI). Read more on Why Does Barack Obama Hate Rich People Today?…
  let them eat internships

America: Land Of The (Working For) Free

Yesterday we brought you the depressing story of a man who had worked for McDonald’s for twenty years and was still getting paid minimum wage. Now, of course, there is an argument to be made that it was kind of his fault that he was still getting paid minimum wage after all those years. Instead of continuing to work for McDonald’s, he should have gone to that one place where they just GIVE OUT JOBS to black men who don’t have college degrees — jobs that pay a living wage and have benefits and opportunities for upward mobility. Ha ha, just kidding, there is no Job Handing Out Place, not for black men or for anyone else, but there are places where you can BEG to work for FREE, and get a job where you work for FREE, but only if you are INCREDIBLY LUCKY and have NO LIFE and demonstrate COMPLETE FEALTY to your “employer,” only then will you get to work for free. See, doesn’t the guy working for McDonald’s for 20 years look like a genius now? This really puts things into perspective. Anyway, more about a fantastic opportunity to work for free: Read more on America: Land Of The (Working For) Free…
  let them eat stock

Union Thugs Terrorize Michigan Cops’ Pepper Spray Canisters, With Their Faces

“Protestors stormed the Michigan capital yesterday on Thursday, prompting the police to use pepper spray,” says the police stenographer reporter over a video of people walking around in a fairly orderly fashion as they chant hey HEY, ho HO, et cetera cetera, like common terrifying thugs. Sadly, Pepper Spray Cop did not see fit to give any “food product” to the fellows from the Koch Brothers’ “grassroots” Americans for Prosperity, who broadcast old Gipper speeches for the education and benefit of the union president’s brothers. Read more on Union Thugs Terrorize Michigan Cops’ Pepper Spray Canisters, With Their Faces…
  dignity

Obama Assaults Elderly Woman In New Commercial

Barack Obama has a new ad called “Dignity,” and it is all about what a candidate loses in the process of running for President. Ha ha, just kidding! But the part in the end where he strangles the old lady is pretty undignified. [YouTube] Read more on Obama Assaults Elderly Woman In New Commercial…
 

BREAKING: Lawmakers Upset About Working Half As Much as You

The Politico reports today that everyone in Congress is still upset that Nancy Pelosi said they’d have to work five days a week. They quote ten separate Senators and Reps bitching about being overworked, including our new favorite member: Read more on BREAKING: Lawmakers Upset About Working Half As Much as You…
 

Ask a Hill Staffer: Watch Your Step, Ladies

Ask a Hill Staffer Our anonymous Hill Staffer works hard, play hard, and answers your questions with the absolute minimum effort required. Today, in between backrubs for John Conyers and stalking the mysterious new Representative Paula Vaughn, he tells ya’ all about finding a job, eating lunch, and how to dress to impress. Keep those questions coming, people — he almost had to do real work today. Read more on Ask a Hill Staffer: Watch Your Step, Ladies…
 

Craigslist: A Resume Worth the Paper It’s Printed On

We worry we may be overqualified: Tired of the office? Got the blue collar blues? Try Toilet: The Novel Looking for a professional buisnessman to run throughout downtown D.C., Dupont Circle and Georgetown with a toilet seat on his head, preferably during hot weather. Job entails dressing professionally and handing out toilet paper to interested residents. Read more on Craigslist: A Resume Worth the Paper It’s Printed On…