Tag Archives: woodrow wilson

  Mama Look A Bad-Ass

Learn Some Goddamn History From Harry Belafonte, Cool F*ckin’ Dude

Harry Belafonte is a fucking national treasure. (You, not being an idiot, already knew that.) Not only did he put food on Martin Luther King Jr.’s family, and work for civil rights from early on, and endure the Black List, and make awesome fucking music that your family loves to sing at you, he also makes fun of the Tea Party all the time and yells at Jay-Z to get all activist and shit. Read more on Learn Some Goddamn History From Harry Belafonte, Cool F*ckin’ Dude…
  gas attack

Sundays With The Christianists: American History Textbooks To Smite The Dreaded Hun

As we’ve noted before, there’s one element of history where our textbooks aimed at the Christian homeschooling market actually manage to be fairly accurate: for some reason, they’re able to discuss wars without bringing very much Godstuff into the discussion. They’re happy to sermonize about the run-up to wars, the consequences of wars, and the long-term significance of wars, but somehow, the actual battles and maneuvers don’t seek to invoke any divine interventions. And so it is with The Great War: once you’re talking about who did what and where, these books are largely indistinguishable from secular textbooks. On the other hand, there are little nuggets like this, from our 8th-grade textbook, America: Land I Love (A Beka, 1994): In the early 1900s, while America continued to enjoy the fruits of spiritual revival, the spiritual condition in Europe was alarming. The ideas of Darwinian evolution and Marxist socialism had become popular in Europe, and the cold, formal state churches of Europe offered little resistance. Evolutionists presented man as an animal, failing to recognize the sanctity of human life. Socialists and Communists reinforced evolution by promoting atheism and violent revolutions as in Russia (1917) to guarantee the “survival of the fittest.” In 1914, spiritually bankrupt Europe found an excuse for war when, in the tiny country of Bosnia, a young Serbian terrorist shot and killed the heir to the throne of Austria-Hungary, Archduke Ferdinand, and his wife Having established that secularism and Darwin, plus a lack of evangelical zeal, had led Europe to moral weakness, the book then gets on with the srs bsns of all those entangling alliances and battles, and we don’t hear any more about European moral rot. In a war that involved mass infantry and cavalry charges into barbed wire and machine-gun nests, poison gas attacks, and criminally incompetent British generals, you’d think they’d find something to condemn, maybe. But there are several nice maps. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: American History Textbooks To Smite The Dreaded Hun…
  all the derp that's fit to herp

Derp Roundup: Your Weekly Slog Through The Slushpile

Welcome to a Gummint Shutdown Edition of the Derp Roundup, your weekly accumulation of asinine asshattery from the aether that was too stoopid to ignore completely but that we weren’t inclined to waste a full-length post on. To start off, let’s do a little bit of mythbusting! We caught Tucker Carlson’s Home for Lying Liars in a bit of a lie! On Wednesday, the Daily Caller proclaimed, based on a single photograph apparently, that Washington DC’s monuments and memorials were all kept open during the 1995/96 shutdowns: The administration’s decision to barricade the Lincoln Memorial marks the first time in its history the memorial has been totally off limits to visitors during a shutdown. As proof, they offer a photo of the interior of the Lincoln Memorial in 1995, showing that the information booth was closed, but tourists were still able to enter the memorial. It took us all of seven minutes,* however, to find this photo from the Denver Post showing a Park Service Police officer standing in front of a completely closed Lincoln Memorial on November 15, 1995. The AP slideshow also includes a photo of the fenced-off National Christmas Tree — with nary a single Republican congresscritter tearing down the fence while decrying Bill Clinton’s War on Christmas. And the Washington Post also has a photo of tourists leaving the Lincoln Memorial as it was being closed down on November 14. So, yeah, Daily Caller – utterly unprecedented.** At least they didn’t argue that Clinton never closed the World War II memorial in 1995-96.*** Read more on Derp Roundup: Your Weekly Slog Through The Slushpile…
  be sure to wear some flowers in your hair

Glenn Beck Turns Hippie Peacenik, ‘Cause War Is A Progressive Trip, Man

Glenn Beck has decided that his favorite conservative anthem is now “War: What Is It Good For? (Absolutely Nothin’).” You see, Glenn had a moment of revelation: This whole Syria thing, man, it’s just about the oil, you know? (Syria doesn’t have that much oil, really, but don’t stop him, he’s on a roll). And war? Oh, man, war is the worst, man, the ultimate bummer trip, you know? On his Monday program, Beck shared his insights (possibly the result of a peyote-fueled vision quest with a shaman) and laid on his audience this heavy message, telling viewers that Read more on Glenn Beck Turns Hippie Peacenik, ‘Cause War Is A Progressive Trip, Man…
  Part 12: Oh What a Lovely War

Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook To Make The World Safe For Theocracy

Welcome to the 20th Century, time tourists! Our 10th-grade textbook for homeschoolers, World History and Cultures In Christian Perspective, would like to remind you that while science and technology are developing like crazy in this new century, the world remains a very very sinful place that has unaccountably failed to adhere to the unchanging norms of Biblical Christianity, at least as they are defined by textbook publishers in Pensacola Florida in 1997: Civilization had progressed so far by the beginning of the 20th century that it seemed the world could only get better and better. Little did people realize that on the horizon loomed two of the greatest wars the world had ever known. “Foolish Hu-mans!” you can almost hear the editors laughing. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook To Make The World Safe For Theocracy…
  think about it

Healing the World, One Thought At a Time

Here’s your weekly think tank event roundup: Monday, July 13: The National Endowment for Democracy, true to what it was put on this earth to think about, is hosting an event today that looks at how we can foster democracy in oil rich countries.  The demand for oil seems to bring about dictatorships in these countries instead of everyone’s favorite type of government, democracy!  We wonder if the thinkers at NED get a kickback every time a country becomes more democratic …. Read more on Healing the World, One Thought At a Time… Read more on Healing the World, One Thought At a Time…
 

Cabal Of Dead Democrats Meeting For Gambling, Larfs

It turns out that Hillary Clinton is not the only member of her family to speak with the dead. One artist has captured in paint definite proof of two living Democratic ex-presidents in sinister commune with the long deceased. What sort of liberal witchcraft is this coven engaged in? And what does it mean that Bill seems to “have all the chips,” while FDR “deals the cards”? Read more on Cabal Of Dead Democrats Meeting For Gambling, Larfs…
 

Gossip Roundup: Tiger in Your Tank

* Reliable Source: Who’s Anna Nicole Smith’s baby-daddy? Yes, it’s President’s Day Weekend… Which bits of Breach are real and which are made-up? Take a quiz… More juicy Woodrow Wilson gossip! [WP] * Yeas and Nays: Virginia hates Hillary, loves Barry Obama… Mos Def wore an “Obama: So Fresh, So Clean” shirt the other night… Rep. Roscoe Bartlett wants everyone to stop calling it Presidents’ Day, because it’s clearly Washington’s birthday… Newt Gingrich will not announce his intention to lose the Republican nomination until September. [Examiner] * Washington Whispers: Mike Huckabee’s daughter is following him around keeping him out of trouble… Bushies still attempting to stack the courts, hope to get one more on SCOTUS before they’re run out of town… Arlen Specter called the Supreme Court lazy. [USN&WR] Read more on Gossip Roundup: Tiger in Your Tank…
 

Gossip Roundup: Only the Lonely

* Heard on the Hill: It is possible to vaguely connect the death of Anna Nicole Smith to Congress. [Roll Call] * Reliable Source: In what might be the single weirdest Reliable Source item we’ve ever seen, Amy and Roxanne uncover a heretofore unpublished love letter from Woodrow Wilson to his eventual wife. Woodrow signed it, “Tiger.” [WP] * Yeas and Nays: Darrell Issa asked grieving widows testifying before Congress who wrote their opening statement… The National Association of Manufacturers accidentally scheduled their congressional reception on Valentine’s Day… Nancy Pelosi added the first anniversary of Dick Cheney shooting that guy to the calender she sent to Democrats last week. [Examiner] * Washington Whispers: “Top secret” religious right group (members include Tim LaHaye and James Dobson) prefers Mike Huckabee to Mitt Romney 60-40. [USN&WR] Read more on Gossip Roundup: Only the Lonely…