Tag: wonkette

Wonkette baby and some dogs.

Oregon Militia In Jail, Planned Parenthood Witch Hunt Hilarious Now. Your Weekly Top Ten

What up my Wonkers? Oh my goodness, can you believe people are about to actually start VOTING in this primary, which has already been going on since the Reagan administration? It's true! Iowa is Monday! And hey Iowa Wonkers,...

Sarah Palin’s Arizona Sex Pad Is On The Market, And Wonkette Wants It

Do you have $2,499,000 lying around, perhaps under your mattress or maybe in your Amazon dot com gift card account? Would you like to put it to good use by buying yr Wonkette a 7,971 square foot fuckpad in Scottsdale?...
Fame and fortune except the fortune part.

Wonkette’s Evan Hurst Is World-Famous In Memphis: A Story By Evan Hurst

Oh hi, do you know me? I am one of your Wonkettes, and I am the most famous person in the universe. I am taking a break from having brunch with Taylor Swift, saying "Oh no she di'int" about...

How We Got Even Dumber Watching TV ‘News’ On San Bernardino

Jesus, but this story was an effing mess. Watching the major networks (primarily Fox, MSNBC, and CNN, although at one point we flipped to CBSNews for about 20 minutes because we needed a power nap), yr Wonkette was subjected to so...

Put Your Leftovers In Your Stomach, With Spicy Turkey And Squash Soup!

People have gone home. Our memories of a fine dinner with people we care about linger, while the evidence has been scooped into plastic containers and refrigerated. Re-purpose what is left into hot and hearty soup, as fast as...

Hot And Saucy Potato Pancakes With Applesauce, Because You’re Hot And Saucy

In this latest edition of Tyin’ On Ur Food Bag, we can fry day-old mashed potatoes and have some potato pancakes. No one’s doctor will ever recommend fried potatoes, though potato pancakes can and do happen! They make you...

Won’t You Feed The Wonkette Children This War On Christmas Season?

Is your Chanukah gelt burning a hole in your pocket (AND POOR JESUS'S PALMS???)? Do you feel the burning itch to share your Christmas goose, NOT IN A SEX WAY? Have you cracked your fourth bottle of wine, and...
For Science!

Wonkette Needs You! To Beta Test Our Ad-Free Subscriptions

Do you love yr Wonkette? Do you HATE all of our ads? Are you looking to atone for stealing from the WonkBabby's College Fund by using an ad blocker? Do you also enjoy being a guinea pig, and paying...

Dearest Gawker Media, Won’t You Please Leave Wonkette This Tiny Crust Of Bread?

Hello, Gawker sirs, don't mind us, we're just a couple of country mice over here in the corner eating this tiny crust of bread. You remember us, Wonkette? We are the politics blog that sprang from your loins (gross)...

Let Wonkette Baby Make You Smile Because Nothing Else Will

It is not often, or ever, that we are obligated to perform the public service of raising your spirits on a Monday. But alas and sigh groan grrr argh angry sad mad sounds, here we are. As the entire US of...
Yes America is that dumb

Yr Wonket Beated Up A Idiot Today And It Was Great, Also Too

You mad, bro? You must be mad because you are like GAHHHHH and ARGHHHHHH and angry comments (which we do not allow) and angry tweets (which we mute) and angry MyFacePlace words (which we ignore) and OMG we even made the spitting rage...

Wonkette Stealth Updates Design Because Of How We Hate You

"The articles load slow on my Nokia Flip Phone." "Wonkette runs so slowly, it is being overtaken by glaciers." "I fucking hate your site and hope that you die." You, our dear Wonketariat, have filled our inboxes with stories of woe, and...

New York Times Says Wonkette Is The Banksy Of Internet Writing!

The New York Times stroked its Van Dijk and tugged at the black turtleneck layered underneath its Mao jacket. (The New York Times has trouble dressing itself.) The New York Times had a thought, and it was a thought...

Wonkette Kiss-The-Baby Tour Rolling Into Santa Fe Tomorrow! (Today? Anyway, Wednesday)

Friends, outlaws, Americans! The Wonkette Wonkebago mini-tour of States That Are On The Way Home From Grandma's has officially begun! Won't you come and kiss our baby and give her the many germs she needs to grow strong and...
Coming soon to a town near you, but Sarah Palin won't be there. OR WILL SHE?

Just Biding Our Time Until We Find Josh Duggar’s Grindr At This Point. Your Weekly Top Ten.

Hey Wonkers! We had a big week! Did YOU have a big week in your job? Just kidding, this post is not about you. Did you hear the big news about how Editrix Becca invested in a Winnebago for the...
Wonkette's fiance

Rachel Maddow Wants To Gay Marry Yr Wonkette, And We Accept!

Wonkette is pleased to report that we officially exist on the internet, after years of relying on strangers to notice us wearing Wonkette T-shirts and carrying Wonkette tote bags (available in the Wonkette Sweat Shop for the low, low...