Out with the Stick, In with the Butter
Friday, January 27th, 2006
Butterstick the ever-lovable panda has already chased away one Wonkette blogger, and I’m about to do the same. A reader writes:
Since you mention that you’re short on Butterstick news, how about printing his horoscope? Here it is, calculated for his exact date, time and place of birth. It seems pretty acurate. Certainly his mother is very proud of him, he inspires children, and he loves to show off to get attention. He has a strong need to learn and gain knowledge, and is enthusiastic in his quest. He is calm and gentle, but assertive and self-confident, and has an wonderfully optimistic approach to life. As he gets older, he may have a tendency to be pushy: “You have difficulty discerning the difference between assertion and aggression, and may be aggressive if twarted.” But overall, a very positive chart.
And I’m thinking, OMG, my two favorite things in the world — panda cults and astrology. But then another reader writes:
Dear Ambitious Heckler, I had just about lost hope there for a minute. Wonkette had surely jumped the shark, in my opinion. However, my anonymous friend, you have saved the day! Thank you for being the only poster that I actually enjoyed this week. Now if you end the day with some Butterstick goodness, we’ll just go ahead and call it perfect.
What can I say — I am a sucker for flattery. Here’s your wish: after the jump, the complete Butterstick astrology forecast. It beats reading more forwarded e-mails urging me to contact my Senators to filibuster the Alito nomination, that’s for sure.
Thanks to all who tipped, tippled, or removed us from their blogroll. The new team will be in Monday — along with regular weekly contributions by the revered Wonkette emeritus — and my expectations are as high as everyone else’s. - AMBITIOUS HECKLER
Butterstick the ever-lovable panda has already chased away one Wonkette blogger, and I’m about to do the same. A reader writes:
Since you mention that you’re short on Butterstick news, how about printing his horoscope? Here it is, calculated for his exact date, time and place of birth. It seems pretty acurate. Certainly his mother is very proud of him, he inspires children, and he loves to show off to get attention. He has a strong need to learn and gain knowledge, and is enthusiastic in his quest. He is calm and gentle, but assertive and self-confident, and has an wonderfully optimistic approach to life. As he gets older, he may have a tendency to be pushy: “You have difficulty discerning the difference between assertion and aggression, and may be aggressive if twarted.” But overall, a very positive chart.
And I’m thinking, OMG, my two favorite things in the world — panda cults and astrology. But then another reader writes:
Dear Ambitious Heckler, I had just about lost hope there for a minute. Wonkette had surely jumped the shark, in my opinion. However, my anonymous friend, you have saved the day! Thank you for being the only poster that I actually enjoyed this week. Now if you end the day with some Butterstick goodness, we’ll just go ahead and call it perfect.
What can I say — I am a sucker for flattery. Here’s your wish: after the jump, the complete Butterstick astrology forecast. It beats reading more forwarded e-mails urging me to contact my Senators to filibuster the Alito nomination, that’s for sure.
Thanks to all who tipped, tippled, or removed us from their blogroll. The new team will be in Monday — along with regular weekly contributions by the revered Wonkette emeritus — and my expectations are as high as everyone else’s. - AMBITIOUS HECKLER
As many of you know, Wonkette got awkwardly served last weekend by a Su Lin fundamentalist who asserted, with only malice as a guiding principle, that Su Lin was “younger” and “cuter” than Butterstick (”or whatever you’re calling him,” the mailer chirped dismissively) and that the National Zoo was acting as if they “invented baby pandas.”
Only time will tell if our network of Butterstick-based informants builds up a track record that puts Ahmed Chalabi to shame, but we wanted to relate how Butterstick viewing is evolving now that his holiness is taking his message outside. To wit, Dan Rinzel, working the Stick beat while other reporters can only beat their stick, offers insight: