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Posts Tagged “Wonkette Operatives”

caption contest

What Funny Thing Is Obama Saying To This Dude?

Secret Wonkette Operative "M" sent us this photograph, which he actually took somewhere in the Eastern Time Zone, of Barack Obama saying something menacing to this poor reporter, who was probably only doing a good journalism thing like asking Obama to prove he was American! (Or maybe it was about economics, who knows.) In other words, let's have a Caption Contest! UPDATE: We have a wiener! More »

7:05 PM on Thu Apr 17 2008
By Ken Layne
7,677 views, 144 comments

reports from the frontlines

Anti-War Polar Bears Run Amok In D.C.

Wonkette Operative "Trey" reports live from the action: "Protesters had closed off the intersection at 14th & K, putting police style yellow tape between the stop lights, dancing around with polar bear outfits and shitty music, assaulting random businessmen and drawing chalk graffiti all across the intersection."

More eyewitness craziness after the jump! More »

12:54 PM on Wed Mar 19 2008
By Ken Layne
3,749 views, 40 comments

washington times

Moonie Times Wins For Best Government Reporting!

The Virginia Press Association had its big awards ceremony on Friday night, at the world-famous Watergateside Hotel, which is “separated from the waterfront by an Outback Steakhouse and a Hooters” and is also in Norfolk. More »

5:39 PM on Mon Mar 26 2007
By KLayne
2,741 views, 9 comments

late night shots

The Late Night Shots Christmas Special

Morons on the Dancefloor More »
Dinner Crash: Redskins Player of the Year Last night, the Washington Redskins held their annual Quarterback Club Player of the Year dinner. One lucky Wonkette Operative was there. After the jump, George Allen provides a tenuous excuse for us to run this.

14 comments

harold ickes

We Had an Icky Dream Last Night

When you live in Washington and spend all day blogging about politics, it’s only a matter of time before it starts to affect your dreams. Once this starts happening, abandon all hope; you’re trapped inside the Beltway. More »

3:24 PM on Thu Mar 2 2006
By dlat
155 views, 2 comments

condicise

Condicise Sweeps the Nation

condicise.jpgoperative: if i may go feminazi for a moment…
operative: why do we have to know how condi keeps her goddamn figure?!
wonkette: haha. ‘cause it’s SWEEPS MONTH
operative: arguably the most powerful woman in the country and we’re still talking about her WEIGHT
operative: dude, is she gonna be in seventeen next, talking about her period?
wonkette: what’s funny is that we know her workout routine, but not her actual positions on affirmative action, abortion, etc etc
wonkette: ‘08 PRIMARIES FRONT-RUNNER!
operative: her position on abortion is bent at the waist with back straight, neck relaxed, abs tight, delts squeezed… More »

12:55 PM on Thu Mar 2 2006
By Pareene
46 views, 1 comment

Latest by Princess Sparkle Pony: I was so jealous... the Today Show called it "Condirobics", and I just had to sob for, like, an hour because I didn't come up with that. more »

breaking news

BREAKING! CAPITOL FLIES TOPSY-TURVY FLAG! DC DECLARES SOS! MUST CREDIT WONKETTE

WONKETTE OPERATIVE REPORTS: More »
butterstick

Out with the Stick, In with the Butter

Butterstick the ever-lovable panda has already chased away one Wonkette blogger, and I’m about to do the same. A reader writes:
Since you mention that you’re short on Butterstick news, how about printing his horoscope? Here it is, calculated for his exact date, time and place of birth. It seems pretty acurate. Certainly his mother is very proud of him, he inspires children, and he loves to show off to get attention. He has a strong need to learn and gain knowledge, and is enthusiastic in his quest. He is calm and gentle, but assertive and self-confident, and has an wonderfully optimistic approach to life. As he gets older, he may have a tendency to be pushy: “You have difficulty discerning the difference between assertion and aggression, and may be aggressive if twarted.” But overall, a very positive chart.
And I’m thinking, OMG, my two favorite things in the world — panda cults and astrology. But then another reader writes:
Dear Ambitious Heckler, I had just about lost hope there for a minute. Wonkette had surely jumped the shark, in my opinion. However, my anonymous friend, you have saved the day! Thank you for being the only poster that I actually enjoyed this week. Now if you end the day with some Butterstick goodness, we’ll just go ahead and call it perfect.
What can I say — I am a sucker for flattery. Here’s your wish: after the jump, the complete Butterstick astrology forecast. It beats reading more forwarded e-mails urging me to contact my Senators to filibuster the Alito nomination, that’s for sure. More »

5:50 PM on Fri Jan 27 2006
By wonkguest
100 views

wonkette operatives

When In Doubt, Mouth Off

Forget about martinis with breakfast. Today we come to you from New York’s East Village, where it’s still last night for some of us. Thanks to some well-timed trips to the restrooms at Lit, it feels more like 2 in the afternoon. Well, we may be strung out, but we can still care about what’s happening in our nation’s capital, where the US Senate is poised to confirm Samuel Alito and undo 60 years’ worth of progress, as the Democrats — hell-bent on displacing the Whigs as the lamest party ever — stammer from the sidelines. Or in the rest of the world, where the smashing success of President Bush’s campaign to bring democracy to the Arab world is now obvious to all. We’ll keep you posted. More »

8:50 AM on Fri Jan 27 2006
By wonkguest
81 views

butterstick

Stick Shift

A Wonkette operative writes in with disturbing news of an apparent Stick backlash:

I think there are some who just can't get on the stick. I saw a bumper sticker yesterday that says:
More »

10:53 AM on Thu Jan 12 2006
By epfeiffer
310 views

eric pfeiffer

Hi, Again

While the subject line could accurately describe my holiday break, let's instead think of it as a fresh introduction. A few readers (and one colleague) have asked today who is Eric Pfeiffer? For those confused, huddled masses wondering where your beloved references to anal fornication have wandered off to, allow me to offer this brief re-introduction: More »

2:50 PM on Mon Jan 9 2006
By epfeiffer
82 views

wonkette operatives

Wonkette Answers Your Questions

A reader inquires after a pair of items in our Gossip Roundup: More »
butterstick

Sticking Up For The Stick

As many of you know, Wonkette got awkwardly served last weekend by a Su Lin fundamentalist who asserted, with only malice as a guiding principle, that Su Lin was "younger" and "cuter" than Butterstick ("or whatever you're calling him," the mailer chirped dismissively) and that the National Zoo was acting as if they "invented baby pandas." More »

3:57 PM on Fri Dec 30 2005
By jlinkins
285 views

wonkette operatives

Butterstick: Fresh Intelligence

Only time will tell if our network of Butterstick-based informants builds up a track record that puts Ahmed Chalabi to shame, but we wanted to relate how Butterstick viewing is evolving now that his holiness is taking his message outside. To wit, Dan Rinzel, working the Stick beat while other reporters can only beat their stick, offers insight: More »

3:55 PM on Thu Dec 29 2005
By jlinkins
88 views

top

Wonkette Readers Lives Keep Getting Better

Has this ever happened to you? You're standing outside Lauriol Plaza, in the midst of a sixty minute wait for $12 quesadillas, and you're thinking to yourself, "My life would be perfect and complete if only I could get Wonkette on my handheld wireless device." Well, American heroes, we've got good news for you. More »

10:30 AM on Wed Dec 21 2005
By jlinkins
46 views

polls

The No Tolerance for No Tolerance Poll, Part Two

Our second set of responses to the Wonkette operative survey sparked by the revelation that, in D.C., one drink is enough to get you arrested for drinking and driving comes with a handy clip and save chart (via the Washington Post, click to enlarge). It will help keep you out of jail (maybe) and can serve as guide for how long you'll need to sit through vapid conversation about the last "Desperate Housewives" episode and moisturizers before he's drunk and you can fuck him already. As for the survey: Some respondents choose to answer our question about drinking in the District in a free-form style. Just don't ask them to walk a straight line. More »

5:56 PM on Thu Oct 13 2005
By wonkette
113 views, Comment

polls

The No Tolerance for No Tolerance Poll, Part One

We admit it: The District's insanely strict drinking and driving regs (ooh! ooh! who will call them "Orwellian" first?) really hit us where we live. And drive. And take cabs probably about twice as much as we used to. We wondered if anyone else was feeling the pain of feeling no pain, and queried a not-at-all random group of Wonkette operatives and correspondents on the following questions:
1. Are booze essential to getting through a typical DC party?
More »

1:23 PM on Thu Oct 13 2005
By wonkette
66 views, Comment