Wonkette Literary Supplement
Recovering Weirdo Congressbum Thaddeus McCotter Wrote A Short Story! It’s Not Very Good!
Greetings, prose-act nation, and welcome to Doktor Zoom’s Fanfic Corner. Today, we’ll be sampling some awesome fan fiction from around the web. Our first selection is from a site that doesn’t usually run fanfic, Tucker Carlson’s Internet Tendency. It’s by aspiring TV sitcom writer and Tea Party rockmeister Thad McCotter, whose author tag describes him [...]
A Pirate/Abortion/Nuke/Fashion Epic, by Ralph Reed
Remember Ralph Reed, shameless leader of ’90s boy band “the Christian Coalition” and smooth-faced huckster for Casino Jesus? Your book reviewer doesn’t spend an unhealthy amount of time thinking about Ralph Reed, but he occasionally wonders, “How does Ralph Reed spend his time when he’s not manufacturing rube hysteria and gobbling up Jack Abramoff lobbying [...]
Republican ‘Young Guns’ Publish Violent Cowboy Novel
The creaky and lonesome ol’ town of Americaville — no longer a boomtown, not yet a ghost town — just ain’t been the same since that corrupt mayor, mean ol’ Barry Obammer, took office and made every cowpoke, whore, gamblin’ man, Injun and saloon piano player sad as a still sagebrush. The citizens of Americaville [...]
Bill O’Reilly Reminds Us That He’s ‘Not Yoko Ono’
Frenzied teevee oaf Bill O’Reilly (of the beloved family sitcom The O’Reilly Factor) had a brainwave one day, possibly while overhearing his Lincoln Town Car chauffeur listening to the Ramones: Why not divide humanity into “Pinheads” and “Patriots?” Bill O’Reilly is a lot like Jesus, you see, who came to divide people into “patriots and [...]
Jimmy Carter’s Mutant Rabbit Tell-All
Former president/poetic smut farmer Jimmy Carter writes all kinds of books. In fact, this graphomania has made him the first person in history to turn up in Wonkette’s book review column twice. What kind of sweaty bodice-ripper is he offering us now? Something called White House Diary, which is apparently his White House diary. Exciting, [...]
Tony Blair Composes Victorian Novel, For Humanity
It was a drizzly, implacable November evening. Anthony Charles Lynton Blair was pacing his chambers at 221 Connaught Square, absentmindedly strumming “Dead End Street” on his guitar, pausing occasionally to glance out the window at the Georgian terraces across the way. A black dog loped down the sidewalk. Anthony sighed. “I am sick at heart,” [...]
Meghan McCain’s Wonkette Memories
And what has the politics biblioburro brought us this week? Why, it’s Dirty Sexy Politics by Meghan McCain, America’s flaxen-haired princess of dirt and sex and politics. Meg is a Renaissance Woman, you see: heiress to beer treasures, daughter of ancient sea beast John McCain, Twitress, columnist for Tina Brown’s Internet bestiality mag, plus an author [...]
Lazy Suburban Death Panels of the Future
Looking for visions of a hellish future where every American has health insurance, gasoline costs ten dollars a gallon, and nature has largely reclaimed the exurbs from the strip malls and McMansions? If so, Universal Coverage by Daniel Putkowski is calling to you! A dystopian novel “in the tradition of 1984 and Animal Farm” (says [...]
America Secretly Ruled By Zombie Pigs and Khazar Bankers, Says Important Book
Free citizens of America! Is globalism grinding you down and burying you in Ameros? Are Obama’s secret police camped out in your driveway, waiting to haul you off to a FEMA camp? Does the NAFTA Superhighway run straight through your teabag sculpture garden? Got a case of the swine flu and aren’t sure which pig [...]
Embrace the End Times With Pastor John Hagee’s Self-Apocalypse Manual!
You might remember godly huckster John Hagee from the 2008 election. He was close to the McCain-Palin maverick juggernaut, and caused them some minor trouble when journalists discovered he held standard evangelical views. You know the sort of thing: God flooded New Orleans for being gay, etc. Oh, and the Holocaust was a necessary part [...]
Robots From Socialist Future Hound Eternal Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich
Every political party needs an intellectual guru, and 1990s nostalgia act Newt Gingrich is the “Ideas Man” for the GOP establishment when he’s not playing Pearl Jam and Cardigans covers. Some consider Newt a great thinker, perceptive about history and full of “American Solutions for Winning the Future.” This is because 2010 America doesn’t really [...]
Laura Bush Writes Druggy Masterpiece
Remember Laura Bush, America’s onetime librarian sweetheart and wife to the nominal head of the most appalling administration in U.S. history? Turns out she’s written a massive memoir titled Spoken From the Heart (because that’s what these political memoirists do: write from the heart, by speaking from it). We figured that a Laura Bush memoir [...]
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