wonkette bazaar

Wonkers, it is December, and we still are trying to sell you the same old warmed-over crap we have been selling you for over a year. Why? Because our ex-boyfriend/eternal art director Paul did not make us good Elizabeth Warren cups, or Hillz cups, for us to send to the Burmese Coffee Cup Slave Labor […]

Sorry, Old Handsome Joe, but there is a new kid in town, and he is in desperate need of a cup of SHUT THE FUCK UP. $16.99 plus like a million dollars in shipping and handling (that does not actually cover the whole cost of the shipping and handling, people who are mad at how […]

It’s the first Thursday of the month, which means that the lovably kooky nightmare country known as North Korea is threatening to set the whole world on fire again unless we lift sanctions on essential items like heating oil, rice, and Hennessy. Given the repetitive nature of these threats, many in the media are now […]

Hey lazy. Whatcha doin’? Bein’ lazy? Forgetting to buy shit for all the people you love? Well you are in luck, because the post office informs us that if we get them your packages by tomorrow morning, your sorry ass will have presents under your heathen, Jesus-less, responsible-for-Newtown “holiday tree.” (Also, WE WILL EVEN WRAP […]

You will have to go elsewhere for your creepy Elmo dolls (in fact, you probably want to just click that Amazon box in the righthand sidebar so that when Amazon forces your local mom and pop store out of business, at least your local mom and pop website gets a cut). We we do not […]

Dear Muskrat-Headed Ego-Beast From Hell Mr. Trump, We see that Barry Bamz has not taken you up on your generous offer, and that despite your seditious patriotic efforts to spark a pro-liberty uprising, every indication is that That One is still on track to be inaugurated for a second term in January. So here you […]

So we finally have our store up? It is at wonkettebazaar.com? It is still “in beta” as the nerds say, but we think it is ready but you can let us know if anything is totally fucked?