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Tag: wonkette bazaar

We Made You This HELL. NO. Blue Baseball Cap, Because Donald Trump Can F*ck Himself Is Why

There's three million more of us and we're not slinking away.

Your Wife’s A Nasty Woman. And You? You’re A Total Cuck

Oh you puny liberal beta males! WEAR YOUR PUNY LIBERAL BETA MALENESS PROUDLY, with our Total Cuck shirt!
Fame and fortune except the fortune part.

I, Also Too, Would Like To Tell You A Story About Wonkette

Yes, we are still fundraising, because it's like a FUNDRAISING DRIVE, where we keep fundraising!

PSA: Please Do Not Poison Donald Trump’s Creepy-Looking Son With Lemonade

Donald Trump is bad. Donald Trump is racist and stupid and piggish and thuggish and rude and sexist and disgusting and, according to certain people, his penis is tiny and looks like a severed lobster claw. He would be...
Truck Fump never looked so good

Truck Fump! Truck Him Right In His Ear!

Do you, like all sentient beings on the planet, have a violently strong distaste for presidential candidate Donald J. Trump (nee Drumpf)? Of course you do! Do you, like so very many others, feel the need to express your feelings...
He speaks the truth.

Remember, Liberals: Ted Cruz And Dead Breitbart Are The Reason For The Season

Hooray, that dumb holiday where we eat 300 pounds of food and say we're "thankful" for "things" is over, and now we can go back to doing hot, wet War On Christmassing to each other, like we liberals do....
The reason for the season.

Here’s Your Turkey Drunk, Black Friday Hungover Weekly Top Ten. Read It NOW!

Good Saturday morning, Wonkers! You are so much fatter than last time we saw you, but that's OK, we are too. We hope your Thanksgiving was full of all the food you like, whether that's buckets of fried turducken...

This Would Be A Really Great Time To Buy Some Last-Minute Christmas Presents

Oh my gosh, you forgot to buy the things! No worries, you can still buy the things. Will they get to you in time for Christmas? Anything is possible. Come, let us travel together through the merry items in the...

Hillary LOLs At Benghazi Republicans, Sarah Palin Talks To God. Your Weekly Top Ten

Oh hello, Wonkers, how are YOUR family jewels hanging right now? You are probably thinking "Uh, Wonket, BUY A CALENDAR, MORAN," because the Top Ten post is supposed to be on Sundays, RIGHT? What is Wonket, some kind of...
Awww, he's even saying you're awesome on HIS birthday. WHAT A GUY!

Happy Birthday, Old Handsome Joe Biden! You Don’t Look A Day Over SEXXXY

Stop the newsreels, for it's time to sing a lustful, off-key rendition of the Marilyn Monroe birthday song, not to the president of the world, but to the VICE PRESIDENT of the world, Old Handsome Joe Biden! He turns...

It Puts The Wonkette On Its Bosoms

Wonkeros and Wonkerinas, we have heard your cries for things like "women's Kitten With a Whip" T-shirts, and since Friend of Wonkette "L.L." asked for one, we finally decided OH OKAY WE GUESS. We have other new items for your...

Liberté, Égalité, Ménage À Trois: It’s Your Weekly Top Ten!

Oh HI, Wonkers, it is Sunday! You are probably hungover and stuff, but it's time for us to count down the top ten posts of the week and surprise, a couple of them are about the horrific terrorists attacks that...
Hi, I'm Wonkette Baby. I'm just hangin' out below the donations paragraph, LIKE I DO.

Griftin’ Duggars, Teabaggin’ A-Holes And Ted Cruz. Your Weekly Top Ten

Hey Wonkerinos, it's Sunday where we live! Is it Sunday were you live, or do you live in space or something? Don't care, if you are reading this, it's Sunday, which means it's time for us to sexxxily count...
We could have used a picture of Ann Coulter, but nobody wants to see that. Here's Wonkette baby, grinning at you instead.

Internet Shocked To Learn Ann Coulter Still Exists. Your Weekly Top Ten.

Oh look, another weekend almost come and gone. But it's still Sunday afternoon, which means we can still day drink or sleep all day or spend the day crying (don't do that, Wonkers!) or whatever it is we want...
She doesn't hate the gays. Really.

Hey Everybody, Where’s Kim Davis? Oh That’s Right, She’s In Jail! Your Weekly Top Ten.

Oh hello, Wonkers, and how is your holiday weekend going? Are you ZZZZZZZing like we are, or are you playing croquet with the king of Spain or something glamorous like that? Well take a break, because it's time for...