wonkette
Screw It, We Are Just Hiring Everyone Now
Are you a writer what got no job? Then you will not want to read the following, in which we hire ANOTHER person, as it will probably make you want to eat your own liver. And livers are not like hearts or kidneys. A liver is an organ YOU ACTUALLY NEED! Last week, we told [...]
Ladies Don’t Want To Write Op-Eds Like ‘Ann Coulter Or Wonkette’ Says WaPo Op-Ed Lady (Updated!)
Ahem. We have brought it to our own attention that we are whining about a column that is like seven years old. You know what to do with the rest. Hey mommybloggers! Do you ever wonder why more XX-Americans aren’t writing more op-eds in the nation’s “news-papers”? Well, a nice op-ed lady at the Washington [...]
First Amendment Hero Bradlee Dean Would Like To Give Your Wonkette Some Legal Fees
Serial SLAPPer Bradlee Dean has taken some time off from making high school girls cry, in order to retain a lawyer to threaten to sue your Wonket! Oh Lucy, what have we done now! Well, obviously we have “defamed” him — which seems to happen to the poor man so very often! — with a [...]
Help Us Help You Help Us!
There was a hilarious David Carr story in the New York Times that we missed in December, about this one-man website The Wirecutter. According to Carr, “Mr. Lam’s revenue is low, about $50,000 a month, but it’s doubling every quarter, enough to pay his freelancers, invest in the site and keep him in surfboards.” Hahahaha, [...]
When Is The GOP Response To The State of the Union? When Is The Tea Party Response To The State of the Union? When Is ‘My Little Pony’ On?
The GOP Response to the most exciting SOTU evaris real soon! The Tea Party Response to the SOTU is after that! Marco Rubio is giving the official GOP response, and Rand Paul is giving the Tea Party response. Neither is expected to be as entertaining as that one time when Kenneth the NBC Page gave [...]
Order Your Wonket Nonsense Tonight If You Want It In Time For XXX-Mas
Hey lazy. Whatcha doin’? Bein’ lazy? Forgetting to buy shit for all the people you love? Well you are in luck, because the post office informs us that if we get them your packages by tomorrow morning, your sorry ass will have presents under your heathen, Jesus-less, responsible-for-Newtown “holiday tree.” (Also, WE WILL EVEN WRAP [...]
Why Are You Not Partying With Your Editirx In Glamorous Los Angeles, Right Now?
PEOPLE! We just heard from your Editrix, who is at her party at Busby’s East! This is at 5364 Wilshire Blvd., in Los Angeles, as if you don’t know. (323) 525-2615 is the phone number. Anyway she is “making new friends” which based on past antics might have wacky consequences. So go join her, for [...]
Oh Right We Have Just Now Decided To Have A Los Angeles Election Night Party
Since we will have a chat cave full of courrespondentes live-blooging tonight’s MADNESS for you, the feverishly page-refreshing Wonkadero, your Editrix has decided to take the night off and treat herself and her fellow Angelenos to Election Night beers and whatnot. THE DETAILS! Let us call it “seven p.m.,” until “11 or something,” at everyone’s [...]
Wonkette Has Always Depended On The Kindness Of Strangers
You are looking to reach over 650k unique human beings each month – Wonkette readers are born with an advanced degree and at least one third of them even have jobs! – and we are looking to keep from peddling our children on the street. Let us help you help us!
Important Wonkette Party Announcement, About Parties And Your Wonkette
The Wonkette Drinky Meetup Salons begin with a party one week from today in Los Angeles, California. (Next up will be Detroit in early June. You excited, Detroit? When’s the last time someone came to see you? Long time, right? Here, let us wipe your tears and hand you a xanax.) All comers are welcome, [...]
Your Wonkette Has a New Wonkette Publisher/Editor, For Freedom!
Good morning from your Wonkette editor since, oh, 2006. It has been an exciting (terrible?) six years, hasn’t it? There was old what’s his name, and Iraq, and the Great Recession, and then the sexy president with his singing and dancing all the time. And now your longtime editor will finally stop disappearing for months [...]
Come To Wonkette’s Friday Night Horror Bar Night!
Will you be “in town” this weekend, maybe on Friday night? Well then you are invited to Wonkette’s first annual Halloweenie Whore Benefit, which is actually just a bar night we’re throwing together — and there is a Costume Party, too, so all you ladies have another chance to wear that “Christine O’Donnell Witch on [...]
Here Is a Video of Wonkette Singing About Masturbation
Bob Schieffer hosted a karaoke fundraiser event for drunk newscasters and other drunken media types. Team Wonkette won Best Worst Performance, and here is the video that proves it:
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