Tag Archives: womyn

  Just Look At All The Puppies He *Didn't* Kick

Only 2000 Women Sued Georgia GOP Senate Candidate For Discrimination. Seems Low.

Michelle Nunn has a pretty good 'You gotta be freakin kidding me' face
David Perdue would really like to be Georgia’s next U.S. Senator, but it seems he has a few problems with the ladies, as in he is polling really badly with them, compared to opponent Michelle Nunn. For a state with no Democrats in statewide offices, Georgia is very, very close to sending Nunn to the Senate, and Perdue didn’t exactly close the gender gap with his performance in Sunday’s debate with Nunn. You see, while Perdue was CEO of discount chain store Dollar General, the company was sued for discrimination by a couple thousand women who worked in management positions at the company. But come on, said Perdue at the debate, that’s all in the past, and besides, is “2000” really that many women suing for discrimination? Heck, just think of all the employees who weren’t managers or women, or women managers that didn’t sue! Read more on Only 2000 Women Sued Georgia GOP Senate Candidate For Discrimination. Seems Low….
  Protip: Miami University Is Nowhere Near The Beach

George Will Discovers New Rape Category

Lucky duckies
George Will advanced the frontiers of Republican classifications of rape during a Wednesday appearance at Miami University, finding a whole new kind of rape that can be added to Legitimate Rape, God Gave You the Precious Gift of a Baby Rape, and Forcible Rape. Read more on George Will Discovers New Rape Category…
  Gag Me With A Ballot

Fox News: Young Women Should Go Find Sexxytimes Online And Leave Democracy To Grownups

If it keeps the terrorists from winning, it's still civic-minded.
Fox News hostroid Kimberly Guilfoyle said Tuesday that America would be a far better place if young women would just please stay home and go do their Twittergrams and Tindermatches instead of cluttering up our elections with all their stupidness. She urged the frivolous young things to avoid voting in this year’s midterms and to only return to the polls when they have the maturity to vote like a respectable married lady, preferably one with a good Republican cloth coat and a little dog named Checkers. Read more on Fox News: Young Women Should Go Find Sexxytimes Online And Leave Democracy To Grownups…
  Pregnant Is The New Black

Texas Wants In On This Pregnancy Crimes Game, Too

Invasion of the babby-snatchers
Looks like we have a trend story here! A few days ago we brought you the story of Alabama Supreme Court Judge Tom Parker, who’s working to end ‘bortion forever by building a whole bunch of cases that treat fetuses as persons — often in criminal prosecutions of pregnant women who are caught using drugs, even though laws they’re prosecuted under don’t specify that they apply to zygotes. Read more on Texas Wants In On This Pregnancy Crimes Game, Too…
  Fetal Attraction

Alabama Wingnut Judge Will Save All The Fetuses With Legal Magic

Ia! Ia! Cthulhi Ftetus!
Alabama Supreme Court Justice Tom Parker is one of the great legal minds of the “pro-life” movement, whose mission in life is to legally transmute all fertilized eggs into human beings so that abortion will go away forever, and sluts will just have to deal with the consequences of their sluttery like God wants them to. Read more on Alabama Wingnut Judge Will Save All The Fetuses With Legal Magic…
  Rock The Vag Vote

Kristen Schaal: ‘We Gave Obama Our Hearts, And All We Got In Return Was This Free Birth Control!’ (Video)

Let it out, girl! We've all been there!
The Daily Show’s Senior Lady Correspondent Kristen Schaal is awfully impressed with the latest trend in Republican outreach to women: Ads that treat voting like being in a relationship. This is not sexist, because Lena Dunham started it, and she is an admitted woman. You won’t want to miss her explanation of how one big chunk of lady brains are devoted to thinking about relationships, and one other big chunk is devoted to bitchiness. It’s funny because it’s true! Also, women have had it with Barry Bamz, because “we gave Obama our hearts, and all we got in return was this free birth control!” Read more on Kristen Schaal: ‘We Gave Obama Our Hearts, And All We Got In Return Was This Free Birth Control!’ (Video)…
  Deductible Penis

Sarah Silverman Gets A Peen So She Can Escape The $500,000 Vagina Tax

Peen pointers now available at Office Depot
Here is a video from Sarah Silverman, who has finally figured out how to deal with the wage gap between men and women — just replace her wage-lowering vagina with a value-added penis! And that why she’s off to the surgical center to find a peenor that makes just the right fashion and economic statement (make sure you read the labels on the sample fake peens on the tray): Read more on Sarah Silverman Gets A Peen So She Can Escape The $500,000 Vagina Tax…
  Not Quite As Nuanced As 'The Gong Show'

Dana Loesch Destroys Feminism Forever, With Hilarious Rightwing ‘Comedy’ Video

It's funny 'cause feminists are fat ugly dykes who hate America!
Here’s a thing that exists! Dana Loesch has a teevee show on Glenn Beck’s cable/internet channel, and she does hilarious rightwing comedy on it! Remember how dumb feminist ladies thought that Jeopardy! was a tad sexist when it suggested that women spend all their time dreaming of a new vacuum cleaner? Well, Dana and her crack team of writers (we assume there are writers?) couldn’t wait to mock how dumb feminists are for hating the family and housework and everything that is right with the world, so they made their very own Jeopardy! sketch, with clues like this: Read more on Dana Loesch Destroys Feminism Forever, With Hilarious Rightwing ‘Comedy’ Video…
  Adding Fabrics And Baking Would Not Help

‘Science’ Center Teaches Boys Rocketry, Girls Makeup. Internet Certain To Be Pleased. (Updated)

UPDATE: Carnegie Science Center has responded; see end of post. You know what kids love? Kids love science! Science is exciting, and it builds critical thinking skills, and it’s actually more than just a little bit fun if you have an engaging teacher and cool things to do! And if you’re a girl in Pittsburgh, you can actually get your Girl Scouts science badge at the one solitary science workshop that the Carnegie Science Center offers, which is available on just one day, which… hey, what’s the freaking deal here, Carnegie Science Center? Looks like you have loads of science workshops for Boy Scouts at different levels of scouting, and one lousy workshop for girls? Read more on ‘Science’ Center Teaches Boys Rocketry, Girls Makeup. Internet Certain To Be Pleased. (Updated)…
  Show Yer Warheads

Veterans Tell Nutsack Eric Bolling What He Can Do With ‘Boobs On The Ground’ Joke

On the sand, at least. Sand is ground, right?
Remember way back at the beginning of the Brand New War, last week, when Greg Gutfield and Eric Bolling had a great big larff over the fact that a lady flew a fighter jet for the United Arab Emirates? Gutfield said that after the lady fighter pilot dropped her bombs, she couldn’t park her plane (Women!), and Bolling asked, “Would that be considered boobs on the ground?” Read more on Veterans Tell Nutsack Eric Bolling What He Can Do With ‘Boobs On The Ground’ Joke…
  Travails With Charlie

Hey Little Missy, There’s Nothing Wrong With Mass. Republican’s Outreach To The Gals

They sure love us
Charlie Baker is already in a pretty difficult race, what with being a Republican trying to become governor of Massachusetts. But popular Gov. Deval Patrick isn’t running this year, and the Democratic candidate is A.G. Martha “Campaign? Why?” Coakley, who didn’t exactly ignite passions in her 2010 bid for the Senate. Charlie Baker really would like to do well with women, who are a rather important demographic; problem is, Coakley holds a 20-point lead among the fairer sex. So last week, at a “Women for Charlie” event, when Baker was asked if NFL commissioner Roger Goodell should be fired for his bungling of the league’s multiple domestic abuse scandals, he bobbled the answer: Read more on Hey Little Missy, There’s Nothing Wrong With Mass. Republican’s Outreach To The Gals…
  Say It Ain't So Joe! OK: It Ain't So

Joe Scarborough And His Intern Give Old Dead (And Maybe Rapey) Sen. Inouye A Pass

They just know some things
Yesterday, we had a sad because The New York Times reported that the late Sen. Daniel K. Inouye was the unnamed senator who grabbed Kirsten Gillibrand’s stomach and warned her not to lose any more weight, because “I like my girls chubby.” But today, we’re much less worried that the deceased senator from Hawaii and WW II hero was the responsible party. Not because any new information has surfaced, but simply because Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski have decided they just don’t believe it, since Daniel Inouye obviously wouldn’t have done that. Thrill as the two MSNBC morning show hosts sift through the evidence: Read more on Joe Scarborough And His Intern Give Old Dead (And Maybe Rapey) Sen. Inouye A Pass…
  Women Get So Emotional About Murder

Why Is Gabby Giffords So Shrill And Emotional About Guns?

Honestly, there has to be some logical explanation of why she's so touchy
We aren’t quite sure we’ve finished throwing up yet in reaction to this Politico piece about that mean bitch Gabby Giffords, who has made some very cruel, unfair ads about the issue of gun control for some reason: Read more on Why Is Gabby Giffords So Shrill And Emotional About Guns?…
  clipbait

John Oliver Goes Deep Inside Miss America (Video)

John Oliver meets Butt Glue
In yet another terrific piece of longform investigative comedy, John Oliver and Last Week Tonight take on the Miss America Pageant, which likes to promote itself as “the World’s Largest Provider of Scholarships for Women.” Obviously, there are two questions here: 1) Is it still 1959? and 2) Really? Miss America provides $45 million of scholarships a year? There’s also the follow-up question of why anyone seeking an academic scholarship needs to know how to keep her swimsuit snug with butt glue. Read more on John Oliver Goes Deep Inside Miss America (Video)…
  Inouye? Way.

Was War Hero Daniel Inouye Also That Secret Sexist Senator? NYT Says Yes!

Look, we know you were always looking for a lei...
The New York Times is pretty sure it’s outed the unidentified senior senator who grabbed Kristen Gillibrand’s waist after she’d lost some weight and chuckled, “Don’t lose too much weight now. I like my girls chubby!” According to “people with knowledge of the incident,” it was the late Daniel K. Inouye, who was a kickass war hero, civil-rights supporter and generally badass liberal in the Senate. And also, apparently, a bit on the harassy side. And no, we’re not going to make a “he was a man of his era” excuse for him, because by the time Gillibrand was elected to the Senate in 2008, Inouye certainly had seen the sexual harassment training film once or twice. Gillibrand’s office wouldn’t comment on whether the senator in the book was Inouye, but we’re going to assume — risky, we know — that the Times got it right. Read more on Was War Hero Daniel Inouye Also That Secret Sexist Senator? NYT Says Yes!…