womyn
Republicans Have New Plan To War On Your Ladyparts With Humor
Ever since Republicans got their asses kicked in the 2012 election, they’ve been curled up in the fetal position, soothing themselves with fantastic stories of how it’s not that the majority of Americans think their policies suck ass like an industrial strength Hoover; it’s just that they didn’t package their ass-sucking policies the right way. [...]
Rick Perry’s Sweet Seduction Secrets: Treat Your Ladies Right By Paying Them Less
Remember how we watched the super special spectacular flameout of Rick Perry’s presidential campaign, complete with an utter inability to remember which government agencies he wanted to annihilate? That was some must-see TV right there. In between our gales of laughter at the hapless head of hair that is Rick Perry, we were also very [...]
Maine GOP Legislator: It’s A Man’s Man’s Man’s Brain Thing And You Wouldn’t Understand
Manly sort of readers: do you ever think about just how hard it is to communicate with ladies? You with your big, enormous, throbbing, rational brain putting up with these ladies and their feelings and their incessant need to get free stuff because of those feelings? Maine GOP Leader Ken Fredette thinks about this a [...]
Slutty 13-year-old Whore Shouldn’t Have Gotten Herself Raped If She Didn’t Want To Be Called A Slutty Whore
You know what is all kinds of fucked up and wrong and evil and worse than Hitler? No, not Obamacare. Or birth control. Or Mitch McConnell’s office getting bugged. Sit down, Republicans, we said not Obamacare. No, the correct answer is: harassing a 13-year-old girl who was raped and impregnated by her rapist. Like so: “I [...]
With Nothing Better To Do, Republicans Try to Ban Abortion Some More
Ah, lazy summer days. Fresh-squeezed lemonade, barbecues, bills to ban abortion for reasons that make absolutely zero sense and will never actually become law anyway, but who cares, congressional Republicans have their priorities, you know, and even though you might think “jobs” or “The War on Terra” or “naming post offices” might be more important, [...]
Hey NSA, If You’re Reading This Could You Maybe Do Something About All These Gun Horrors? (Updated)
Perhaps you’re aware of the Most Depressing Thing on the Internet, Slate’s running tally of every US gun death since Newtown, which at the time of this writing stood at 4,850 including the six who were killed in Santa Monica in Friday’s ordinary run-of-the mill mass murder spree by a kevlar-clad neo-berserker lunatic. Eleven people [...]
American Torture-Hero Allen West Not Really Buying This Whole ‘Military Rape’ Thing
Hey, here’s somebody we haven’t heard from in a while! Must be Bid For Relevance Week for losing GOP candidates! Retired Army colonel and failed Florida Rep. Allen West, whom you may remember from his unabashedly patriotic efforts to protect America from communist tyranny by pushing for the installation of a military junta. He’s back though, sputtering nonsense [...]
Tennessee Congresswoman Knows What Women Want (Hint: It’s Not Equal Pay)
Hey ladies. How you doin? Do you like things like equal pay for equal work, being treated fairly in the workplace, and not having a partner physically abuse you? Do you think it might be nice if there were laws to enforce these types of things? If so, you are one of those goddam lesbofemanazis [...]
All-Male Fox Panel On Female Breadwinners About What You Would Expect
Ladies, did you know that Fox News has finally admitted that there is a War on Women, and that War on Women is you having a job? Have you studied your science lately, which shows that Men must Dominate you? Most importantly, have you done your part in “dissolving society” today, by raising your children [...]
Brian Fischer Done Thinking About Boy Scouts’ Buttocks For Now, Has Thoughts On Ladies Instead
Do you live in one of the 40 percent of households that is headed by a broad? Well Brian Fischer of the American Patriarchy Association does not care if he is “politically incorrect,” he is gonna tell ya like it is, and that is that the heavenly FATHER, one certain Mr. Man-Type-Person GOD, set it [...]
What Do Ladies Want, If They Even Know? A Debate By Two Republican Gentlemen
Nebraska and Oklahoma: Two neighboring states that proudly embrace their independent pioneer heritage, their rival university f’ball teams with silly names, and their domination by agribusiness interests — they are like power bottoms for Archer Daniels Midland! Both states also share a near-complete stranglehold on state politics by the GOP. (Oh sure, Nebraska’s weirdass unicameral [...]
Nice Time! Supreme Court Says Indiana Slut Clinics Still Allowed To Bankrupt America
How are liberals winning the battle against the Fetal Menace today? Probably a lot of ways, but especially this: The State of Indiana will not be allowed to withhold Medicaid funding from Planned Parenthood! Says who, you ask? The Supreme Court, that’s who! (Actually they didn’t “say” anything, they just coldly and disdainfully “declined” to [...]
Angelina Jolie Got Her Boobs Chopped Off, Yay Angelina Jolie!
Some years ago, we saw a film that made us want to murder all the people. It was called “In the Family,” and it was about a young lady who has the BRCA gene that killed all her grandmothers and all her mothers and all her aunts with lady cancer. In this film, the young [...]
James Dobson So Glad Feminism Is Over and Women Want to Be Mommies Again
Hello Americans! Focus on the Family founder James Dobson would like you to know that, despite an advanced state of fossilization, he has not “retired to a quiet farm somewhere,” and is still just as much a patriarchal asshat as ever! In a rambling Mother’s Day message, Dobson takes some comfort that, in the midst [...]
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