Tag Archives: women’s rights

  Now how's about all you lezbogays get in the kitchen and make South Carolina a sammich?

South Carolina Waves Constitution Around To Prove Gays Can’t Get Married And Ladies Are Chattel

South Carolina woman no longer protected by the 14th Amendment, we guess.
The Supreme Court is planning to hear arguments at the end of April in Buttsechs v. Phyllis Schlafly (not what it’s really called), the case they will most likely use to permanently cram gay marriage into the throats and bottoms of all the American people. This means that everyone and their wingnut uncle is submitting an amicus brief that says either “here is why I want to be able to marry the person I love” or “God will bomb America with fire if we let those faggots destroy our way of life!” But the state of South Carolina has sent the Supreme Court a truly stunning love note, which essentially says that due to the 14th Amendment, they are TOO allowed to discriminate against the homosexuals. Why? Because the 14th Amendment says they can also clearly discriminate against ladies. According to this logic, ladies are just like gays, in that they are inferior to straight white Christian slaveowners, wait what? Read more on South Carolina Waves Constitution Around To Prove Gays Can’t Get Married And Ladies Are Chattel…
  ladies against women

Tennessee Rep. Marsha Blackburn Denies White House Bid, Maybe, Probably, Who Even Knows?

Is it 2016 yet? Have we inaugurated Hillary Clinton already? CNN BREAKING NEWS: No, it is only 2014. Yet rumors persist about who is and is not running for President to replace Our Dreamy Guiding Star of Socialist Hippie Liberalism Barack HU-SANE Obama. It looks like we may have another contender, and she is a vagina-American, per The Leaf Chronicle: A report over the weekend that Tennessee Rep. Marsha Blackburn might launch a 2016 Republican presidential bid spurred a non-denial denial from her campaign staff. Non-denial denial! Does it get any denialier? And ladies, she is running on the platform, quoted by Huffington Post, “It is Republicans that have led the fight for women’s equality.” Move over Michele Bachmann, and step aside Sarah Palin: the GOP has a new woman to steal headlines and be batshit crazy. Let’s non-denialsplore.  Read more on Tennessee Rep. Marsha Blackburn Denies White House Bid, Maybe, Probably, Who Even Knows?…
  Legal Mumbo Jumbo

Scalia Wrote Supreme Court’s Order Allowing Texas Abortion Law To Remain In Effect, Is A Dick

The story so far: Under a hail of imaginary bricks and pee jars and real sexy Wendy Davises, Texas’s state legislature passed a law that says all current abortion providers must have admitting privileges at a hospital within 30 miles of their clinics. Supporters of the bill said it was to help ladies be healthier, not to stop them from getting abortions WINK WINK they are WINKing because of course it was to stop them from getting abortions, dummy! Then we got excited when a District Court found the nobortions part of the law unconstitutional, but that Nice Time was short-lived because the Fifth Circuit court issued a stay of judgment against the District Court, what a dick move! Incidentally, saying “dick move” three times in front of a mirror is how you call Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia, who just wrote the Supreme Court’s refusal (PDF) to vacate the thing that overturned the thing that stopped the thing that stopped the abortions. It’s minor Scalia, but parts of it are interesting, like when Nino tells us about Logic: Read more on Scalia Wrote Supreme Court’s Order Allowing Texas Abortion Law To Remain In Effect, Is A Dick…
  burka bitchez break buick ban

Global Nice Time: Saudi Ladies First People In History To Use Rosa Parks Analogy Correctly

You know when someone is a Men’s Rights Activist, or when someone is Ted Yoho, and they are all up in Rosa Parks’s business claiming the mantle of Civil Rights and Rosa Parksiness for their very anti-Rosa Parks goals? It is sort of like NRA people who invoke Gandhi in their push to arm six-year-olds. But in what we hope is the beginning of a new trend, a group of people has invoked Rosa Parks — and they have done it correctly! Per Think Progress: Brushing off threats from the government, more than 60 Saudi women got behind the wheel on Saturday in a bold protest of the nation’s de facto ban on women driving. Sara Hussein, a Saudi woman involved in the effort, drew parallels to the U.S. civil rights movement: “Think back in history — Rosa Parks was the only person who sat down on the bus, wasn’t she? And then it started to happen gradually. It does have to start with the few brave people who are willing to risk whatever there is to risk.” And that is how you do a Rosa Parks comparison, everybody.  Read more on Global Nice Time: Saudi Ladies First People In History To Use Rosa Parks Analogy Correctly…
  happy holidays!

Nation Celebrates Roe v. Wade Birthday With Scary Videos, Hypocrisy, Balloons

Libruls really hit the holiday jackpot this week! First, we had Martin Luther King, Jr. Day and Inauguration Day at the same time, which appropriately coincided with the made-up Fox News holiday, “Sadness Day” (a holiday Olds celebrate by eating burnt pot roast and scowling at Wheel of Fortune). But the fun did not stop there! Yesterday marked the 40th anniversary of Roe v. Wade, which is a Supreme Court decision that lots of people have heard of, yet as the New York Times points out, remains a mystery among the vast majority of America’s tween population, who recognize abortion as that thing that will get an episode of their favorite Canadian teen drama series banned on Nickelodeon. Read more on Nation Celebrates Roe v. Wade Birthday With Scary Videos, Hypocrisy, Balloons…
  but did he wear an apron?

Karen Santorum Proves Rick Doesn’t Hate Women: He Cleaned Kitchen a Few Times

Rick Santorum is not a vagina-hating monster, according to Rick Santorum’s wife. What evidence have you to submit in the idiot’s favor, Karen, or will you merely plead insanity? “When I was doing my book tours,” she offers in a CNN interview, “Rick was the one who was home changing diapers and making meals and cleaning the kitchen.” He helps out once in a while! (But not often enough to make him a feminist, Pope forbid.) Do you have a rebuttal, every corner of the Internet? Nah. Awkward video after the jump! Read more on Karen Santorum Proves Rick Doesn’t Hate Women: He Cleaned Kitchen a Few Times…
  our heroes

WI Lawmakers Bravely Avoid Urgent Bills In Favor of More Rules For Uteri

Every day is now “women are deranged child-eating sluts who should be slapped” day, as evidenced by the fact that this is 130% of what has been appearing in our Google Reader for news-cycle eternity. Your Wonkette warblog has already briefed you about four such items just today, so your editor is going to skip over the gory details of this “Wisconsin Assembly votes to ban abortion coverage from insurance policies” story that popped up and go straight to the part of the AP article where it notes the two economically critical legislative proposals that will likely be pushed until next session so that lawmakers could sermonize about sex organs. Any guesses as to what the neglected bills are? Read more on WI Lawmakers Bravely Avoid Urgent Bills In Favor of More Rules For Uteri…
  like there was any doubt

Arizona So Going To Win This Birth Control Coverage Denial Contest

Arizona heard there was some serious crazy goin’ around the country, some of that fun vagina-hatin’ crazy, so they said to themselves, is someone doin’ crazy better than Arizona these days? STEP ASIDE. *CRACKS KNUCKLES.* Only a pansy lawmaking body would seek merely to exempt any religious employer from the birth control coverage mandate. Major league insanity, on the other hand, is a bill like this one: any religious employer can also fire “an employee who independently chooses to obtain insurance coverage or prescriptions for contraceptives from another source.” BAM. (Now with update below!) Read more on Arizona So Going To Win This Birth Control Coverage Denial Contest…
  and send the pope to gitmo

Senate Votes To Axe Murder Religious Freedom

Every American with “religious beliefs or moral convictions” must now report to jail, because the Senate narrowly failed to pass Roy Blunt’s amendment tacked on the end of a highway funding bill specifying that no health plan sponsor must offer coverage for any otherwise mandatory services that it deems immoral. (The amendment does not name contraception but says only “specific items or services” because heh heh, the only type of health that is offensive to God is lady parts health.) So what will the Catholic bishops do when they hear that the United States Senate has aided and abetted Barack Obama in requiring insurance companies rather than whiny, misogynist religious institutions to cover the cost of birth control, aka OUTLAWING RELIGION, as the president’s contraception requirement compromise indicates? Eh, we are going to go with “continue to talk loudly about women’s vaginas in public,” much the same as the old creeps in the Republican party, to prove that they are very, very heterosexual. Read more on Senate Votes To Axe Murder Religious Freedom…
  good ideas

VA Lawmaker Adds Male Anal Exam Fairness Rule To New Abortion Law

Hero Virginia state Senator Janet Howell responded to another one of these stoopid bills requiring women seeking an abortion to first undergo a medically pointless ultrasound with a very smart amendment: every man seeking treatment for erectile dysfunction would also by law have to undergo a rectal exam and heart test to get a Viagra prescription. This way, everyone can enjoy the experience of having their nether parts unnecessarily prodded by the cold, uncomfortable indifference of lawmakers’ whims equally. Fair’s fair! Read more on VA Lawmaker Adds Male Anal Exam Fairness Rule To New Abortion Law…
  because that would make sense

Michigan Proposes Helpful Law To Harass Women Who Miscarry

Last year a group of rabid little anti-choice trolls in Michigan pretended to find a bunch of “fetal remains” while they were rummaging through a dumpster behind a women’s clinic, which, right, TOTALLY PRETEND. But this did not stop worried state lawmakers from feeling like they weren’t allowed to appear indifferent to fictional globs of tissue (being indifferent to non-fictional humans is still okay), so they are working to pass a new “dignified disposal of fetal remains” law commanding hospitals and clinics to immediately send someone in to force women who just have suffered first-trimester miscarriages to get them to make some “funeral plans” for the cell blobs… mostly to help rub it in, we guess? Read more on Michigan Proposes Helpful Law To Harass Women Who Miscarry…
  jerks

Angry Troll Leading Personhood Campaign That Bans IVF Has IVF Kids

The generally obese, illiterate citizens of Mississippi are for some reason voting today on an insane initiative widely billed as a litmus test on “how fucking backasswards can Mississippi possibly be?” that will determine whether the state adds a constitutional amendment defining fertilized egg blobs to be “persons.” The rest of you humans, fuck off! Enjoy your lifelong destiny as poverty-stricken uninsured criminal slobs. In addition to banning all abortions and certain types of birth control, the vaguely-worded amendment would also outlaw in-vitro fertilization, which is oh, a little weird considering that Mississippi “personhood” leader Brad Prewitt’s kids were the result of this common medical procedure. Read more on Angry Troll Leading Personhood Campaign That Bans IVF Has IVF Kids…
  why isn't gloria steinem upset?

Conservative Professor Protests Use of Term ‘Tea bagger’ In Front of Ladies

How is America’s Socialist Patriarchy oppressing women lately? This time it’s truly awful: college professors are referring to America’s patriots as “tea baggers” in classrooms! WHAT?!? Now some of you may not know this, but the term “tea bagging” leads a sneaky double life, both as a term for the hazy Jesus warrior collective trying to trample the federal government with their army of scooters, and also as an oral sex act involving testicles. This is offensive to student lady ears in classrooms everywhere according to University of North Carolina Wilmington criminology professor Mike Adams, who asserts that right-wing women should not be sexually harassed by professors talking about nuts. Nuts! There is another term that has two meanings. GAH. There we go again!  Read more on Conservative Professor Protests Use of Term ‘Tea bagger’ In Front of Ladies…
  bible stories

Marcus Bachmann Is Only Charge of Michele’s *Important* Decisions, Guys

Everyone’s number one spiritual question for today is: “Should Michele Bachmann ask her gay husband permission if she just wants to have a regular Coke once in a while?” THIS WAS LAST NIGHT’S MOST IMPORTANT GOP DEBATE QUESTION, which was mysteriously booed by the Jerry Springer audience. Anyway, this issue is so important that Bristol Palin’s memoir ghostwriter Nancy French decided (?) to swing by The Corner and type some soothing Christian words to explain, carefully, that Marcus is not Michele’s leather daddy for some Biblical reason other than the obvious one. Sure, we will listen to you, person who writes all day long about the Palin family, veritable “super expert” on Christian living! What was Michele Bachmann really saying when she told us back in June that she became a tax lawyer because God Marcus told her to? “The concept of submission is a bit more nuanced than our feminist sisters understand. Christian women are under the authority of their husbands,” French writes. Weird, that doesn’t sound very nuanced at all! Read more on Marcus Bachmann Is Only Charge of Michele’s *Important* Decisions, Guys…
  love the fetus hate the human

America Descends Into Spiral of Free Birth Control and Manicures

Just yesterday, Kenyan Supervillain President Obama was plotting the grand finale of his economic assault on America (mostly through angry illustrations of himself standing next to John Boehner on top of a cake, as it is done in New York City) when he got bored for a minute and decided to allow all the ladies of the U.S.A. to get free birth control pills! “That will really throw them off,” he cackled, while eating cigarettes. Health insurers will now be required to cover contraception and other lady things without additional cost to said ladies. Somewhere in Alaska or maybe Scottsdale (who knows cares?) Bristol Palin is throwing a boxed wine-flavored temper tantrum, because if girls stop getting knocked up, who will pay Bristol Palin to lecture them on teen motherhood? And Princess Bristol is not the only one who is upset about this, because it starts with free birth control, and then all of a sudden this is “Red China” and everyone is getting free foot massages. Read more on America Descends Into Spiral of Free Birth Control and Manicures…
  flotus files

FLOTUS Celebrates International Women’s Day With Abortion Party

International Women’s Day is a special holiday that began a century ago, because women were becoming more vocal in campaigning for progress — so this year’s version was marked by ladies showing their boobs at Mardi Gras and a new episode of Teen Mom 2. And it wouldn’t have been a Women’s Day party without the hottest woman alive — our fabulous FLOTUS, who celebrated in the best way possible. Michelle Obama had a big ol’ abortion party, because what do women even do, really, besides patronize the Sex and the City franchise and get abortions? Read more on FLOTUS Celebrates International Women’s Day With Abortion Party…