What, the Democratic National Convention Committee couldn't find a black artist to design the credentials?

Barack Obama was on teevee's female program The View this morning. These ladies are all really terrible and how any of them got famous, historians will never quite understand. So here they are shouting "YOU'RE VERY SEXY" in Obama's face, the end.

Newsweek salutes Powerful Women! Like Blog-empress Arianna Huffington, Atlanta Mayor Shirley Franklin, and, uh, Rachael Ray. All fine examples of modern female leadership! One went from successful pundit/author to head of one of the most influential lefty sites on the internet, one is the first female mayor of Atlanta (and the first black woman to be elected mayor of any major southern city), and one is a busty television personality whose Wikipedia page currently describes her as “this hot ass beautiful, young womens.” Just as Arianna proved that you can marry a gay Republican and still amass political power and influence (on the internet), Rachael Ray proved that you can overcome the adversity of being an attractive woman without any training or ability in cooking and still end up the breakout star of a tv network dedicated ostensibly to the culinary arts.

In All Their Glory [Newsweek]

Did you know that there are ten Congresswomen with little kids?? It’s true! Ten ladies strutting around voting for shit when they should be at home raising their poor children! Just look at the list of shame:

The 10 congresswomen with children under 13: Sens. Amy Klobuchar (D-Minn.), Mary Landrieu (D-La.), Blanche Lincoln (D-Ark.), Kay Bailey Hutchison (R-Tex.) and Reps. Kathy Castor (D-Fla.), Kirsten Gillibrand (D-N.Y.), Deborah Pryce (R-Ohio), Debbie Wasserman Schultz (D-Fla.), Heather Wilson (R-N.M.), Cathy McMorris Rodgers (R-Wash.)

The Post tells us all about them today, from how Debbie Wasserman Shultz ignored her deathly ill 8-year-old to gallavant to New York for a fundraiser to how Heather Wilson hates Nancy Pelosi for making her work as much as a real working mother. And their lousy spoiled kids are interrupting Senate business:

As she was walking into the Senate chamber to vote on renewable energy bills last month, Sen. Amy Klobuchar’s cellphone rang. Her 12-year-old daughter, Abigail, was in fashion crisis. She needed a bathing suit for the sixth-grade pool party, and the school had banned bikinis. Could she buy a tankini? The freshman Democrat from Minnesota listened attentively, told her daughter to hold on and hid the phone, which is not allowed on the Senate floor. “I walked in, kind of put the cellphone down and signaled my vote to the clerk,” Klobuchar said. “Abigail was saying ‘I think I can get a tankini’ and the next thing I saw was Lindsey Graham. I thought, ‘What’s wrong with this picture?’ “

There are so many right answers to that question, Amy.

These Congressional mommies are breeding a race of terrible Village of the Damned children who will all either continue to bother us in various elected capacities for generations to come or else end up drunk-driving potheads embarrassing their parents — or, in the case of the Kennedys, both.

Also — a zillion words on Congressional mommies and no mention of Michele Bachmann? Mother of fifty, foster mother to 600 needy orphans? She’s not bitching about how little time she has to raise, fatten up, and slaughter so many kids while also voting to win in Iraq and sexually assaulting the President. Whiny Heather Wilson should take a page from her book.

Mom’s in the House, With Kids at Home [WP]

We cannot be the only ones who’d be creeped the hell out if Madeleine Albright’s ghostly visage popped up on the register while we were paying for our groceries. That hasn’t stopped Safeway, though.

A Social Safeway spokesman said it’s not just for the benefit of Washington’s political junkies, but part of the national grocery chain’s efforts to recognize women’s history month. He said to look for Albright’s visage in the weekly circular as well.

Ok, we’re switching to the Giant before Caspar Weinberger’s face starts showing up in the produce aisle. Goddamn do we hate this town.

Yeas and Nays [Examiner]

Breaking: Washingtonians dress very conservatively! But a radical new group of kuh-razee lady-congresspeople are revolutionizing all that by dressing very slightly less conservatively!

Call, in this order:

• Mary Bono
• Stephanie Herseth
• Ellen Tauscher
• Debbie Wasserman Schultz

Also noted: Congresswoman often wear black. The piece has the nerve to criticize media outlets (well, the WaPo) who “punish” political women for fashion mistakes, but at least Robin Givhan is insane. We’d much rather read her calling Condoleezza Rice a dominatrix than be told that huge pearl necklaces are chic. We’d also just like to see more politicians wearing black leather knee-highs. We’re pretty sure Cornyn has a pair.

Speaking Chic to Power [NYT]

“You two are just Wayans brothers in hilarious makeup, right?” [Photo: AP]

According to the Washington Post, the divisive Virginia Senate race all comes down to women. It turns out these “women” may make up almost half of the electorate! While this initially seems like bad news for Jim “No Girls Allowed” Webb, the Post does helpfully illustrate in this photo that some of these “women” are also “black.” Not that Senator George Allen has a problem with black people! No, as this anonymous and unverified tip illustrates, the good Senator loves his melanin-blessed brothers and sisters:

While speaking with a fellow congregant at our church’s fellowship hour yesterday, he passed along a rather interesting tidbit. It seems he is friends with a woman who does fundraising for several nonpartisan nonprofits in the area. At one event she was seated next to Allen’s wife who was sharing an anecdote about their Black Labrador who was named….”Sambo!” Unknown whether this is their current dog or a past companion animal, but I thought you nice people should be apprised of this darling doggie moniker.

To be fair, Webb’s dog is named “Bitches Stay Outta My Navy.”

Women’s Vote Could Tip Close Contest [WP]

The RNC Women’s Auxiliary Ladies Who Lunch Local 17 is having a super-fun tea party tomorrow! And everyone’s invited! Come on, ladies, let’s get back on message! We’ll meet you on the roof of the Hay-Adams at noon. We’ll swap recipes and damage control suggestions.

Party at the White House [The Politicker]

Yes, it’s a candidate for Georgia Secretary of State promising to protect the disenfranchisement of voters. It most certainly is.

But before you count her out for ignorance, crank up your speakers and go here. We waited until the afternoon to post this item because we couldn’t handle linking to it before our hangover had subsided. This’ll get yr feet tappin’ and yr head pounding.

Vote 4 Miss Angela
Women are Suffraging Everywhere! [Red State]