In today’s edition of “Things That Are Impossible To Overstate, According To The News Media,” we return to that years-old question of whether Barack Obama either modestly dislikes women, or hates every single woman’s fucking guts. This was a hot topic last year when Barack Obama defeated a woman in a presidential primary, a heinous display of chauvinism. Why not crap on Susan B. Anthony’s grave and punch Lucretia Mott in the boob, while you’re at it? And now Obama has done something far worse: played various sports with coteries of men, instead of women. This is the very definition of being “pro-life.” MORE »

O’Reilly’s figured it out! MORE »

• SHE REALLY REALLY WANTS TO BE PRESIDENT: [We're out of absurd descriptions for her] Michele Bachmann unintentionally revealed yesterday, while yelling about Democrats, that she thinks about running for president 24/7: “They want to make sure no women, no woman becomes president before a Democrat woman and so they’re doing everything they can to, I think, sabotage women like Sarah Palin, perhaps women like myself, or similarly situated women, to make sure that we don’t have a prominent national voice.” Hey, Michele, GOD WILL DECIDE which lady gets to be lady-president first, so stop bothering him and be patient okay? [TPM]

The dispatching of interns to college campus for purposes of digging up politicians’ old papers, newspaper columns, and self-effacing submissions to really radical but also really, like, awesome poetry ‘zines is a sacred tradition of journalism. And it is this custom that has made it possible for America to now enjoy the senior thesis of Virginia gubernatorial candidate/former attorney general Bob McDonnell, a 93-page musing on the fairer sex that is now forcing McDonnell to perform the PR equivalent of fellatio on fornicators, cohabitators, working mothers and other types of fallen women. MORE »

“President Obama has chosen federal Judge Sonia Sotomayor as his nominee for the U.S. Supreme Court, two sources told CNN on Tuesday.” Jeffrey Rosen is rolling in his grave. MORE »

According to Experts, the recently minted members of America’s middle class — the ones who got ARMs on their three-bedroom ranches in the exurbs and took out $600 a month car loans on their Ford Explorers and used credit cards to pay for their Starbucks Gargantua-chinos every morning — will now be sad hobos along with the rest of us. They will be the “former middle class.” But one traditionally neglected and sorely undervalued population should do quite well in the tough times ahead: sexy ladies of a certain age. MORE »

A shocking new study by the web concern A Daily Beast proves that American women voters are more furious than usual about the election, because, eh, Hillary Clinton lost to Barack Obama and Sarah Palin is a despicable race-baiting moron. MORE »

John McCain held a town hall for women last night in Denver and just could not resist making one of his patented “jokes” about women, which usually involve rape, bestiality, cunts, and chicks with dicks. This one is much simpler: he says it’s a very “emotional” town hall, “maybe because it’s a women’s town hall, heh heh, heh.” The Republican white women cheer because they are the worst demographic on Earth. UPDATE: Oh Christ there’s another awesome video out there too along the lines of, “How bout that dame in the debate, HEHH????” After the jump. MORE »

OK, not to be racist, but. White ladies. Why do you all suck so much at everything? “Since picking Sarah Palin as his running mate, John McCain has obliterated what had been a 34-percentage-point deficit in a poll of likely women voters on the question of which candidate has a ‘better understanding of women and what is important’ to them… Unlike black and Hispanic women, White women saw McCain and Palin as most understanding of their concerns.” This is why no one likes you, white women. You are all awful and should be thrown in Gitmo for, uhm, causing the financial crisis. [Politico]

• WELL HE’LL ENJOY THAT: Barack Obama’s pathetic attempts to keep upper-middle-aged ladies from drifting to the McCain-Palin camp continue: Barbra Streisand, who is despised by everyone not between 54 and 66 years old and without a vagina, will “perform for” Barry at a fundraiser later this month. HA, you cannot fool us with your fake ploys, Hussein! Until you or Joe Biden gets pregnant with like thirty Down Syndrome babies, you will always be a terrible enemy to women. [Wilshire & Washington]

It’s Hillary’s Big Night, and everybody’s wondering what she’ll tell her aggrieved and anxious supporters who felt Disrespected by the Process. We are kind of hoping that Hillary will dispense with that in the first 20 seconds and then administer the indescribably cruel new tearing of assholes to John McCain that all the old Clintonites (Begala, Carville etc) have been baying for all week…but she will probably do something classy and valedictory instead. Let’s watch and see how this drama unfolds…. MORE »