Wonkette

* Nancy Pelosi’s mothering powers are so great she can excrete children at will. [Comedy Central Insider]
* Media coverage of Anna Nicole as lop-sided as she was. [Think Progress]
* Jack Cafferty takes a hack dig at Wolf, who by now has surely come up with something witty he could have said. [Passport]
* Cheney’s office now exists as a “super branch” outside the Governmental space-time continuum. [The Carpetbagger Report]
* Marky Mark Warner won’t gun for Johnny John Warner’s Senate seat, may go for VA governor spot, again. [Vivian Paige]
* Lots more Republican scandals on the way, don’t change that URL! [The Blotter]

The Obama/Osama presidential race war continues with an actual on-air apology from Wolf Hitler Blitzer to Senator Barack Hussein Obama. Why so sorry? Because some graphics person at CNN “accidentally” typed “Where’s Obama?” over a picture of some scary terror-fascist Mahometans. This was on last night’s “Situation Room,” which somebody apparently watched. MORE »

CNN’s Holiday Party was one of the better ones we’ve been to, mostly because they kept the bar open the latest. It was last Tuesday at Teatro Goldoni, and our full report — featuring Wolf Blitzer, James Carville, and a CNN Senior Correspondent coming this close to pulling a Kenny Rogers — is after the jump.

A gallery of lovely Liz Gorman pictures is also available right here.

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Last night on CNN, Wolf Blitzer, Agent of Zionism, interviewed freedom-fighter and Jew-hater David Duke. The interview started off contentious, with Duke bitching about how many times they mentioned his KKK days and reminding viewers that Wolf used to be a lobbyist for AIPAC, then got even funnier. We were gonna put up a clip for you, but it’s like 12 minutes long and the whole thing’s golden. So just go watch it at CNN. Highlights: MORE »

The tipsters have gotten themselves on the “good” list and uncle Wonk’d has loads of stocking stuffers for an early Christmas. These presents might not be as good as the ones Laura Bush was seen buying, but you get what you pay for. Unwrap a jaywalking John Bolton, an over-caffeinated Katherine Harris, an anatomically correct Anderson Cooper, and an occasionally anonymous Dan Bartlett that comes with elephant sidekick, under the tree.

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It’s an all talking heads (no Byrne) edition of Wonk’d as Charles Krauthammer tries to roll over the Kennedy Center staff, Wolf Blitzer avoids a situation outside of his comfort room, Lou Dobbs takes a weekend break from painting on his hair, and, as always, George Stephanopoulos. This main course and few small fixin’s, after you set the table.

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Orange-headed Space.com founder Lou Dobbs — currently an anchorman at CNN — says he’s so great because he’s so much smarter than idiots like Paula Zahn and Wolf Blitzer. The multi-millionaire “populist” told NPR only his rich experience as an anchorman will save America from free trade and Mexicans. MORE »

• Rick Santorum has decided he doesn’t want Pennsylvania’s tax dollars used to finance genocide anymore. [The Carpetbagger Report]

• And he also thinks George Bush is a big “soft on terror” pussy. [The Swamp]
• Bill Maher’s Halloween costume: almost as original as his show. [Shakespeare's Sister]
• Michael J. Fox’s lust for baby harvesting causes at least 6 people to drop Back to the Future from their Netflix queues. [Pandagon]
• Osama’s dead, or in Djibouti. [The Jawa Report]
• David Letterman channels a time when he was funnier, meaner than Bill O’Reilly. [Power, Seduction, and War, C&L]
• Wolf Blitzer has more than just a brown nose. [Whiskey Bar]

Remember that letter from an anonymous Marine we posted the other day? Come on, think, think! Yes, the one about Wonkette and various other political blog-style sites of the non-Bush Supporty Variety being blocked by the Evil Pentagon Blocking Technology?

Well, we still don’t know if it’s true, but CNN’s “Situation Room” was able to milk it for 30 seconds of legendary broadcasting. See the shocking evidence, after the jump.

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• Heard on the Hill: Dumb employee of Rep. Charles Bass (R-NH) trolled blogs on House computers, pretending to be a liberal. [Roll Call]
• Yeas and Nays: Exclusive “supper club” to host exclusive parties featuring same 200 idiots at every other exclusive party… 12-year-old wins essay contest. [Examiner]
• Reliable Source: Pseudonymous PG County erotica author invents “freak dating.” Tonight at Zanzibar… Amy Argetsinger and Roxanne Roberts did not get into any sororities. [WP]
• Washington Whispers: Behold the terrifying vision of Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi: “look for lots of flowers, bowls of San Francisco’s Ghirardelli chocolate, and good art mixed in with photos of her grandkids. What’s more, meeting-goers would be greeted with fruit and muffins for breakfast, sandwiches for lunch, and maybe a sit-down dinner at her Georgetown condo at night”… “CNN’s Wolf Blitzer has nailed so many star newsmakers lately that we haven’t had a chance to watch his competitors. ‘Oh yes, Wolf is hot and having fun,’ says a CNN exec.” [USN&WR]
• Page Six: Authors of anti-Ann Coulter book remain anonymous, because they are pussies… Crappy NYU humor magazine gets inexplicable column inches for unfunny Bush piece. [NYP]
• Rush and Molloy: Nancy Grace: evil shrew and plagiarist. [NYDN]

We have no idea what Bush and Blitzer were talking about in that CNN interview that ran Sunday. But this bit from the president gave us nightmares: “I like to tell people when the final history is written on Iran — Iraq — it will look like just a comma because there is — my point is, there’s a strong will for democracy, these people want a unity government, the unity government’s functioning.”

How about hitting the bong after the interview?

A look at the history books of the future, &* @! ~+ #%$ … we mean, “after the jump.”

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• Wolf Blitzer closes his eyes, counts to three, and wishes that when he opens them all the dead Palestinians will be gone. [HuffPo]

• Small Pennsylvania town increases illegality of illegal immigrants, sick birds. [AP]
• Sign Katherine Harris’s online get well card! Then feign shock when her robot voice won’t stop calling you for campaign donations. [Elect Harris]
• Capitol Historical Society to host reception for “departing” members of Congress, most honorees to arrive by paddy wagon. [Copley News Service]
• Young America’s Foundation staffed by assholes really into IM. [Campus Progress]
• Soon to be the most compressive source for photos of politicians eating babies in the world! [Flickr]