Wolf himself only needed to watch the first ~90 seconds of it, by which time he’d… you know… finished. [Twitter via Atrios]

You may have seen this already, but goodness gracious, marijuana is the devil’s weed and no one on CNN (or Barney Frank) has ever spent a nickel on it! This is very similar to how Washington pundits condemn anyone for ever having sex — including David Letterman, and he’s in New York City! — unless it is fully clothed and for the purpose of procreation. [YouTube]

• Wolf Blitzer exposes SNL with his award-winning muckraking journalism. [Hot Air]
• Hundreds of fake doctors (including Jeff Gannon) were forced to wear lab coats and say flattering things about socialized medicine. [Michelle Malkin]
• Michele Bachmann does not know anything about MSNBC. She doesn’t know how to spell MSNBC and she doesn’t want to know. She doesn’t know what MSNBC stands for, or if it stands for anything at all. Maybe it’s Spanish. She just doesn’t know. [TPM]
• Guess who wants to stick his public option in your pooper? You know who. [RedState]
• Barack Obama is the the world’s most popular dictator. [Think Progress]

Oh man… Wolf Blitzer said that Jesus was born in Jerusalem during Celebrity Jeopardy last night. What a heathen! He ended Double Jeopardy with -$4,600, with super-easy questions too. And check out at how snooty he looks when Alex has to adjust his score for answering “Julia Childs,” earlier. Ha ha, Wolf Blitzer. Andy Richter seems so nice and smart. [Politico, Gawker (full episode)]

This *might* be a first, in which someone wins “Email of the Day” as an award, not a punishment:

From: Brian S.
To: tips@wonkette.com
Date: Thu, Sep 17, 2009 at 7:49 PM
Subject: wold blitzer is an idiot

wolf blitzer is on jeporady right now and is getting stomped. he is a MORAN. here is really not much of a tip here but whatevs.

HAHAHAH WOLF just got 800 points taken away in a “score correction” because he called julia child julia childs. HE HAS negative 200 dollars. ha make that negative 1000, not kidding negative 3000 now, he is the stupidest person ever.

im stopping now.

You know you are scraping the bottom of the barrel, wonk-wise, when the most famous person on your “spotted around DC” list is Wolf Blitzer. Such is the state we find ourselves in this mid-July. But let’s check out the roster and see who was nearly run over in a parking garage, who was seen joking about his ex-wives, and who stumbled upon a hidden squad of lesbians in Alexandria! MORE »

It is the end of the 100 days, at some point soon! We do not know the exact day because January 20 + 100 = January 120?? (SOMEONE ASK NATE SILVER.) So the next week will be a crucial time for the Media to reflect on what has been accomplished in this arbitrary time period, for no reason, except that apparently new presidents are not allowed to do anything important when it ends. Let’s see how the White House Press Corps is reflecting about itself and its rare opportunity to ask the president’s top spokesman direct questions about anything, every day. MORE »

Those of you who were watching your inaugural festivities on the CNN this past week may have wondered from what mile-high fancy pillared balcony America’s Best Political News Organization Teevee Team was reporting. Was it the actual Mount Olympus, leased out by Obama? No, worse: it was from high atop the Canadian Embassy! They were actually in Canada to cover the black America party! UPDATE: CNN has e-mailed us to correct certain, HMM, shall we say “untruths” in this post? MORE »

Hey so like half an hour before our very first black president EVER was sworn in, which is to say, when there wasn’t a whole lot going on, anywhere, CNN decided to notify various press outlets that they had released a rush transcript of Wolf Blitzer explaining the techmologies behind their new space alien spybot in the sky. It was very informative! Press release after the jump. MORE »

… GO ON? MORE »

• Despite no threats or evidence that there might be any threats in the near future, the FBI still needs DCers to feel threatened during Inauguration Week. [DC Examiner]
• The tickets to the Inauguration Parade, during which Barry will hijack a car and drive off with Mandy Pepperidge forever, sold out in a minute flat. [WTOP]
• Tonight marks “Journopalooza”, during which Spencer Ackerman and whoever else compete for most ironic acoustic cover of “Paper Planes” or whatever. [DCist]
• Remember two weeks ago when it was impossible to rent some Georgetown student’s Dorito-stained futon for under a half-mil? Now it is different, and Inauguration landlords are begging for out-of-towners to sleep in their apartments. [Washington Post]
• Wolf Blitzer and his staff of sexy space holograms are quite popular amongst Kids These Days. [Fishbowl DC]