Tag Archives: wnd

  And Yet Furries Still Fight For Recognition

WND Publisher Joseph Farah Just Wants Equal Rights For His People, The Hate-Gay-Marriageists

Admit it: You only read 'Nostromo' because it was the name of the ship In 'Alien'
WorldNetDaily publisher Joseph Farah is taking a break from his critical work on behalf of birthers and believers in various conspiracies to explain that laws preventing discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation are actually Very Discriminatory Indeed — not against a religion (fundamentalist Christianity), but against one of the very sexual orientations that such silly laws purport to protect! Because now, being against marriage equality is its very own sexual orientation. Read more on WND Publisher Joseph Farah Just Wants Equal Rights For His People, The Hate-Gay-Marriageists…
  Shazbot!

Robin Williams Probably Consorted With Demons, Says WND In Touching Memorial Ad

Robin Williams conjures a demon, or throws a gang sign maybe.
It’s kind of beautiful how, in the midst of tragedy, some people can calmly assess the situation and find a way to make things just a little shittier. Consider the great minds at conspiracy wackaloon hub WND, who took the occasion of Robin William’s suicide to pimp DVDs about the Satanic influence of pop culture. Read more on Robin Williams Probably Consorted With Demons, Says WND In Touching Memorial Ad…
  Also God Makes Icebergs Shaped Like Dicks

Photoshopped Cow With Map Of The World Proves Creationism Is Real

Do you ever wish Dok weren’t on vacation? US TOO! Because here is a “Special Offer for WND Readers,” and it is a picture of a cow with a map on it that proves … God gave people Photoshop? Unclear. But oh, haha, “CreationMoments” is not stupid. They know there might possibly maybe be some Photoshop trickery, in this random cow picture they found on the internet. BUT WHO MADE THE COW? Huh Mr. Smartypants Atheist Hellbound Snootmeister What Is Probly a Jew? WHO DID THAT? Read more on Photoshopped Cow With Map Of The World Proves Creationism Is Real…
  So Nuts He Makes the Other Rush Look Sane

WND Idiot Erik Rush Just Asking Whether Obama Shot Down Flight 17 (He Totally Did)

The shocking evidence the mainstream media don't want you to see!
WND columnist and wackaloon conspiracy theorist (ah, but we repeat ourselves) Erik Rush, who’s pretty sure Obama tried to nuke South Carolina, is floating a new variation on the theme: Maybe we should consider, he says, the possibility that illegal “President” Barack Obama conspired with Ukraine to shoot down Malaysia Air Flight 17. This makes perfect sense, because it would fit so well with the already-established fact (in Erik Rush’s reality) that Barack Obama also blowed up the Malaysian airliner that went missing in March, because that’s just how Barry rolls. Read more on WND Idiot Erik Rush Just Asking Whether Obama Shot Down Flight 17 (He Totally Did)…
  you gays get off his lawn

Angry Old Man At WND Pretty Sure That NAMBLA Is Going To Take Over The National Cathedral

We thumbed through our archives and realized we really don’t pay enough heed to the comedy stylings of Les Kinsolving over at WND, and that’s a crying shame, because he has the slightly-unhinged yet wholly cranky anger that only the elderly can really deliver, and oh my yes is he mad at the gay people and the transgender people and the everyone who is not Les Kinsolving people in a delightfully train wreck-y get off my lawn sort of fashion. Read more on Angry Old Man At WND Pretty Sure That NAMBLA Is Going To Take Over The National Cathedral…
  do right woman

Domestic Diva Lady Is Way Happier Than All You Harpy Feminists Because Her Man Is The Boss Of Her

Christ. Do you know how many words this lady, Patrice Lewis, over at WND had to write about how it is totally cool that submission equals power and she tops from the bottom and that’s why her husband is head of the household and also too because of Jesus? All of the words. My husband is the head of our household. Yes, really. Here, some smelling salts will revive you. In today’s world marinated with progressive morals and ideals, it’s tantamount to heresy for a woman to freely admit that her husband heads the household. But let’s face it: It makes life easier for both my husband and me. Read more on Domestic Diva Lady Is Way Happier Than All You Harpy Feminists Because Her Man Is The Boss Of Her…
  sex tips for girls

WND Finds Duggar Daughters’ Secret Of Happy Families. Spoiler: It’s Jesus

Watch, if you can, this video of 21% of the Duggar children as they explain the secret to successful family life, especially how to do dating, or as these gals call it, “courtship,” because only sluts “date.” It’s “dating with a purpose,” they explain, aimed at finding a good Christian man to fill your quiver. And as it happens, the Duggirls — Jinger, Jill, Jessica and Jana — have a book out what is called Growing Up Duggar: It’s All About Relationships, WND would like to remind you, and we are pretty taken with its combination of Barry Williams’s title Growing Up Brady: I Was a Teenage Greg and the most obvious subtitle ever — you mean to say that family life involves relationships? There’s an insight! Read more on WND Finds Duggar Daughters’ Secret Of Happy Families. Spoiler: It’s Jesus…
  dancing queen

Here Is Your Nice Time Big Gay Drag Show Fundraiser, Military Edition

Haha it must be SO HARD to be a wingnut right now who loves the gay sinner but hates the gay sin (yeah, right), who loves the military but hates the actual troops, because some homosexxican service members at the Kadena Air Base in Okinawa just did a drag show fundraiser for an LGBT servicemember group there. Read more on Here Is Your Nice Time Big Gay Drag Show Fundraiser, Military Edition…
  virgin/whore but mostly whore

Wingnut Columnist Matt Barber Decides Feminism Means ‘Please Rape Me.’

There’s this useful phrase, “Not even wrong,” used to indicate an argument that so completely and sloppily misses the point being discussed that it can’t even be assessed as an argument — for instance, a creationist who asks if evolution is real, why don’t we see dogs giving birth to leopards, huh? Not only is that question not right, that’s not even wrong. We mention this because we’re going to be taking a look at the latest brilliant thoughts by crazed WND columnist Matt Barber, who applies his critical thinking skills to a Salon think-piece by Katie McDonough and manages to completely refute something that has no resemblance to anything McDonough actually says. It’s actually rather impressive how thoroughly not even wrong Barber manages to be. Read more on Wingnut Columnist Matt Barber Decides Feminism Means ‘Please Rape Me.’…
  the times they are a-changing back

WND Writer Figures Out Democrats’ Secret Plan To Chaos America Right Into A New World Order

You guys, David Kupelian over at WND has eavesdropped on the secret No Republicans Allowed treehouse and figured out all of the Democrats’ evil plans! We are so busted. He knows that the entire point of Obamacare and really of Obama himself is just to create chaos so that we can grab everyone’s guns and make a one-world Agenda 21 government like we’ve always dreamed of. But unfortunately, Bamz hasn’t done enough to distract or wreck America. Sure, he trashed the health care system, says Kupelian, but he can do so much better than that, like maybe faking an assassination attempt or a terror attack, hmmmm? Read more on WND Writer Figures Out Democrats’ Secret Plan To Chaos America Right Into A New World Order…
  land of a thousand dunces

Ted Nugent: Get More Guns Into Schools So Sandy Hook Kids Won’t Have Died In Vain

NRA board member and bozo birthday boy Ted Nugent, who is still neither dead nor in jail, marked the one-year anniversary of the Newtown Massacre with a WND column blaming the shootings on “political correctness” and warning that unless we arm teachers, eliminate gun-free zones, and do something about mentally ill people — as individuals, of course, not through government — then the 26 dead at Sandy Hook Elementary will have “died for nothing.” Silly us, we thought the reason that we needed to do something about idiots with guns was that the victims of Sandy Hook already did die for nothing. They died because it’s ridiculously easy for idiots with Rambo fantasies to get their hands on killing machines with high-capacity magazines, and even if some kind of meaningful reform of gun laws were to come about (a pipe dream, we know), that would not retroactively make the deaths of 20 children and 6 staff mean anything. There’s no redeeming those murders, no happy symbolic transformation that can give a Ted Nugent a moral justification for shitting on those graves. Read more on Ted Nugent: Get More Guns Into Schools So Sandy Hook Kids Won’t Have Died In Vain…
  pining for the bantustans

WND Smart Man Erik Rush Wishes People Would Remember Good Sides Of Apartheid Too

It’s maybe too late to stop people from getting all carried away, but wackaloon WND writer and frequent Fox News guest Erik Rush just wants to inject a note of caution into all this hoopla over the passing of Nelson Mandela. Oh, sure, people say he was a great man and all, but isn’t all this celebration of an old guy who wore colorful shirts overlooking a couple of key points? On his radio program last week, Rush suggested that what’s really needed is a strong dose of perspective: “You know I hate to rain on the parade here, but there really isn’t a whole lot to celebrate aside from this synthetic symbolism that is being made out of someone who, you know, didn’t do much,” Rush said. “Apartheid went away, great. There are South African blacks who have told friends of mine they wish it was back because the country was safer, if you can believe that.” Yeah, stupid South Africans, why do you insist on celebrating the life of one-man-crime-spree Nelson Mandela? Read more on WND Smart Man Erik Rush Wishes People Would Remember Good Sides Of Apartheid Too…
  Jesus Was A Limited Liability Corporation

‘Jesus Was A Capitalist’ Is Really The Title Of This Tea Party Nobody’s Rant Against The Pope

Pope Francis has been making a lot of liberals feel funny in the pants (the POLITICS part of the pants, pervo), like when he recently said that capitalism is a buncha bullshit (paraphrasing), and also when he touched the guy with the non-standard skin, even though we didn’t write about it. But not everybody is happy about the Pope’s new popery. One such not everybody is a man we’ve never heard of before named Jonathon Moseley, a Tea Party Something from Who Cares. Jonathon Moseley has much special knowledge about Jesus Christ: Jesus was a capitalist, preaching personal responsibility, not a socialist. Totally, like when Jesus said unto his flock “It is the one who is least among you who will work for the lowest wage, and woe be upon him who formeth a union, for I said so. Also my taxes are too high.” Let us pray. Read more on ‘Jesus Was A Capitalist’ Is Really The Title Of This Tea Party Nobody’s Rant Against The Pope…
  bombast from the past

Pat Buchanan Wants To Know ‘Just Whose War Is This?’ Spoiler Alert: The Jews The Jews The Jews (And The Saudis)

Oh, Pat Buchanan, you must be having a fine old time with this Syria thing. There’s a crisis in the Middle East, so let’s see if we can possibly look behind the curtain and see who’s REALLY driving the agenda, because of course it can’t simply be the Obama Administration scrambling to come up with something to do in response to a gas attack on civilians. And you will never in a million years guess who Pat Buchanan, writing for serious journalism outlet WND, thinks is behind the push for military action against Syria, unless you read our headline: SCARY FOREIGNERS AND JEWS. Read more on Pat Buchanan Wants To Know ‘Just Whose War Is This?’ Spoiler Alert: The Jews The Jews The Jews (And The Saudis)…
  how to secede without really trying

Texas Oil & Gas Regulator Getting Ready For ‘Independence.’ You Know, Just In Case.

Texas Railroad Commissioner Barry Smitherman is getting ready for the end of the world — well, really, just the United States — and WND feels fine. In fact, they’re pretty excited about it, the way only wingnuts get excited, because Smitherman talks about economic collapse as what will happen to the rest of the United States, not Texas. And he talks about energy policy as a way to make sure Texas commerce will continue, without the rest of the United States. And when he talks about the future, he focuses on Texas, because he believes there might not be the rest of the United States. See a pattern? Now, before you get too excited about Texas cutting itself loose, what Smitherman’s really up to is just making sure that the extraction industries his commission “regulates” — despite its name, it regulates oil and gas, not railroads — can rip as many resources from the ground as possible as quickly as possible, because profits. And maybe they’re buying some tactical children’s backpacks, too, because after all, you never know when Obama might send in the U.N. Read more on Texas Oil & Gas Regulator Getting Ready For ‘Independence.’ You Know, Just In Case….