Ha ha ha, the President made a hilarious joke about not being able to speak our language correctly, which is only funny if you missed the past seven years. Still, it was funnier than the time he made a PowerPoint about not being able to find WMDs in the Oval Office.

Colin Powell was right, motherfuckers, no matter how much he says he lied. When he told the United Nations that he totally knew for sure there were Weapons of Mass Destruction, his sole error was in claiming those evil weapons were in Iraq, when they were actually in the UN headquarters itself, only to be found by a cleaning crew four-and-a-half years later. MORE »

* The decider has yet to make any decisions on the raising or lowering of troop numbers in Iraq. [WP, NYT]
* Democrats will allow freshmen to take ownership of individual ethics proposals for maximum benefit in their districts. [WP]
* Sorry, Charlie, no measures to reinstate the draft will be part of the “2007-2008 legislative agenda.” [WP]
* The Iraq study group that almost wasn’t. [WP]
* Hillary Clinton and the mystery of the disappearing $30 million in campaign funds is solved — $13 thousand for flowers, $2,500 for chili half-smokes at Ben’s, and some other stuff. [NYT]
* Antiwar groups are outwardly enraged, inwardly fulfilled by being spied on by antiterror programs. [NYT]
* “Now we got weapons of the chemical dust,” until 2023 when we finally get rid of that shit. [USAT]
* In race for Katherine Harris’s old seat, Republican Vern Buchanan is finally named winner, Democrat Christine Jennings is suing, and Katy is still crying. [NYT]

[UPDATE, BREAKING, 11/06/2006: Michele Malkin actually paid a lawyer to make us explain to you that this illustration is "forged." Really.]
Here’s Michelle proudly trumpeting the brave work of her fellow lunatic bloggers in convincing Senator Rick Santorum and Rep. Pete Hoekstra to post documents seized from Iraq and the Taliaban on the internet for everyone to read and enjoy. MORE »

If you read today’s New York Times, you know that Congressional Republicans are not happy with US intelligence agencies right now. Why? Because those killjoys refuse to report a fanciful worst-case scenario as a done deal. Honorary Congressional Republican Newt Gingrich, fresh from a screening of Alien vs. Predator:

“When the intelligence community says Iran is 5 to 10 years away from a nuclear weapon, I ask: ‘If North Korea were to ship them a nuke tomorrow, how close would they be then?’”

Answered your own question there, Newt. Also, if Lex Luthor and the Joker teamed up, the Justice League would be doomed.

The House Intelligence Committee has fought back the only way they can: with a scary committee report, the awesome cover of which is at right and a complete copy of which is available here (it’s got a scary picture of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad — not this scary, but close).

Iran promptly responded with their own scary intelligence report, the cover of which is dutifully reprinted after the jump.

MORE »

Best story of the week: MORE »

* The first rule of HuffPo is — you do not talk about HuffPo. [The Guardian] MORE »

* But we can’t pay our booze bills with “trendy,” can we? [CNN Money] MORE »

The Post, today: MORE »

And he is very, very happy to see them. MORE »

* Bush will reaffirm strategy of preemption: “When the consequences of an attack with WMD are potentially so devastating, we cannot afford to stand idly by as grave dangers materialize.” [WP, NYT]
* Concern about Iraq pushes Bush’s approval rating to 37% in NBC/WSJ poll; only 32% have positive view of Democrats. [WSJ]
* Ethics package proposed by House Republicans includes limits on 527 groups. [WP, NYT]
* Dubai Ports World to sell American port operations to “an unrelated U.S. buyer.” [WP, NYT]
* Talk of censure and impeachment used to rally Republican voters. [NYT]
* Michael Brown ignored plans and circumvented Michael Chertoff during Katrina response, House report concludes. [WP]
* Bush nominates family friend to head FDA as Plan B threatens to stall vote. [NYT]
* Rep. Katherine Harris will drop $10m on her senate bid. [NYT]
* Rep. James Moran Jr. (D-Va.) says Gore should run in 2008. [WP]

After WMD