Wonkette

• Bush began final campaign trip in Montana, and will travel to other historically Republican strongholds that are now under threat. [WP, NYT]

• Campaigns to end with ad blitz that “will boost spending on political and issue advertising past $2 billion in this campaign, or $400 million more than in the 2004 presidential campaign.” [WP]
• U.S. Government website releases Iraqi nuclear “cookbook.” Post is titled, “BREAKING! Must Credit Saddam!” [NYT]
• Conservative Christian leader Ted Haggard resigns amid allegations of whoring, gaying. [WP]
• A cost/benefit analysis of raising minimum wage shows it does cost business owners, does benefit workers. [WSJ]
• Economist bloggers believe “Democrats are better for growth than Republicans.” [WSJ]
• Report by House Ethics Committee on Pagefuckergate cover-up to be released to an apathetic post election world. [WP]
• Latest Military authorization bill eliminates the, “Office of the Special Inspector General for Iraq Reconstruction,” as the reconstruction no longer needs inspecting, obv. [NYT]
• New web-based tool showing Metro train arrival times aims to allow passengers an extra few minutes to take care of blowjobs before heading to the station. [WP]

Because we adamantly refuse to pay attention to a) municipal politics and b) transit news (on principle, dammit), this note, linked to from the WMATA’s homepage, was confusing and scary. Now that we’ve done a bit of googling, it is hilarious. Unless you ride the S2. Then, still scary. MORE »

• The Washington Post’s “Best Bets” went to ” all the trouble of soliciting votes, counting them, writing copy, publishing HTML and printing little badges for the winners,” and all the big mean bloggers do is laugh. [DCeiver]

• Bad week for the Post - the intern happy hour article was an even easier target. [Café 227; Why I Hate DC]
• If you fall asleep on the metro be careful where you drool, because “spit-covered feet are definitely a good reason to want to kick someone’s ass.” [Yeah...I Said It]
• The little restaurant with the good mac n’ cheese, apparently a microcosm of all the issues in the gay world. [Worth Repeating]

• WMATA to hand out free bottles of water tonight at Dupont Circle station, after your sweaty ass foots it up the broken escalator they can’t figure out how to fix. [Metroblogging DC]

• WaPo reporter and HGTV decorator in pissy little pissing match. [Fishbowl DC]
• Never, ever underestimate the stupidity of tourists. [Eavesdrop DC]
• Venerable Italian restaurant closing, forcing Justice Scalia’s blood to return to only 40% pure parmigiana. [Metrocurean]

• Federal law enforcement agents providing security for your move to the ghetto may look tough, but there’s no chance in hell they can run down a crackhead. [Wanderings In DC]

• New members of Columbia Heights gentry find 14th St. uncivilized, learn foreign curses. [Fictional Rockstar]
• Crime-stopping youth curfew starts tonight, but if you’ve got the lawn-cutting money to spare go ahead and buy a loophole. [Pygmalion In A Blanket]
• Redesigned metro cars were unveiled today with new seat layout but same earth tones. [FreeRide]
• What the mayoral candidates will admit to drinking. [Winesmith]
• Baseball trade deadline passes and Nationals hold on to the only good player they’ve got, still plan to lose 60% of remaining games. [ESPN]

• When famous-for-DC types go to restaurants that are famous-for-being-famous, a whole lot of ass slapping goes on - but you knew that already.
  [Yeah, So I'm] MORE »

• DC blogger may or may not have been caught on TV thanks to Plamesuit, may or may not have looked cute in gym outfit. [Brunch Bird]

• Your “hottie on metro - m4w” missed connections posting can now be ignored in real-time. [WBJ]
• Senate approves $15M for new downtown library because books in shiny new buildings make people want to read them more. [Inside The DC Bubble]
• General incoherence in advertising be damned, an incredible service is being offered, and soy sauce stains don’t go away by scratching them with your fingernail. [Metroblogging DC]

• No reason to get shook, it’s just a little crime. Sounds like someone’s been watching too much of The Warriors. [America Blog]

• Er, rather it’s a “crime emergency.” Quick! Everyone watch The Warriors for survival tips. [Cut DC Taxes]
• Old people and fat asses are your best friends if you just dropped ass on the Metro. [Sarcastic and Cynical]
• 7-11: Too lazy to keep all the slurpee flavors properly frozen and too cheap to give any of their precious colored sugar water away. [DCist]
• Tucker Carlson’s new show has yet to hit its stride. [Two-Timing the Cosmos]

• Political Consultants with beds in their offices that routinely misdirect emails are basically the best thing ever. [Hey Pretty]

• When the health of the Earth is at stake, Al Gore is not above reaching between some boobies for a snack. [Candy Sandwich]
• If Bethesda residents are against it, then it must be good - viva la purple line! [Rebuilding Place In The Urban Space]

• Attention tourists: the following will vastly cut down on the number of dirty looks you receive per hour of touring. [An OC Girl Living In An Extraordinary World]

• Not included in the guide: how do handle crazed violent psychos on the metro. [ Thoreau's Journal]
• Distinguishing the rapport of a bottle-rocket from a MAC-10 is for more advanced urban tourists. [Cruel Sommer]
• A cell of terrorist haxors has started attacking sites they find while surfing for porn. [The Gentlemen of the CPMC]
• MTV heads to Hawk n’ Dove for the same reason everyone does: hard partying underage interns willing to exploit themselves. [The Hill]

* Sci-Fi author David Brin tours Capitol — yells at police that confiscate his tri-corder, “You don’t know what you’re doing! My work must continue!” [Conservative Futurist] MORE »

* The facts have been double checked — dipping your feet in duck shit solves nothing. [Why I Hate DC] MORE »

* Multi-jurisdictional, quasi-corporate entities make the best art patrons. [Free Ride] MORE »

* Having returned from his cosmic vacation, “The Rev” orders The Washington Times to get with the times. [Metroblogging DC] MORE »