Tag Archives: wives

  Sisters Are Doin' It for Their Men

The Submissive Wives Of TLC Would Be More Than Happy To Make You A Sammich

“If you are a strong woman, you can submit to your man.” This potent message of female empowerment comes to us from Tara Furman, one of the stars of an exciting new TLC special rolling out this Sunday night. The network responsible for such radical re-interpretations of the American family as My Husband’s Not Gay and Sarah Palin’s Alaska stands ready to spice up your weekend with Submissive Wives’ Guide to Marriage. Read more on The Submissive Wives Of TLC Would Be More Than Happy To Make You A Sammich…
  reverse cowgirl for jesus

Pastor Challenging Lindsey Graham Is A Dumb Piece Of Crap And Here’s Why

Ladies, it’s all your fault. Hopefully you realize this by now, because all the evidence is clear, and there is literally nothing that cannot be blamed on you. Like how you will divorce your husband just because he is having penile-vaginal relations with another woman, when it’s obviously your fault he was cheating in the first place! Det Bowers, a pastor challenging Lindsey Graham in the South Carolina GOP Senate primary, once blamed women for causing most divorces — even when husbands are unfaithful to their wives. You’ll never guess the reason. (Hint: It is blatant woman-hating sexism shrouded in a thin veneer of self-righteous religious bullshit.) Read more on Pastor Challenging Lindsey Graham Is A Dumb Piece Of Crap And Here’s Why…
  totally different governor sammiches

Ohio Gov. John Kasich Wants You To Know His ‘Hot Wife’ Is In Kitchen, Making Him a Sammich, Where She Belongs

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? One and that’s not funny? Oh no no no no. Feminists don’t change lightbulbs, apparently, if Ohio Governor John Kasich’s wife is around! That is because she does everything that could need doing — the laundry, the sammiches, never letting him forget he’s a man cause she’s a woman. Read more on Ohio Gov. John Kasich Wants You To Know His ‘Hot Wife’ Is In Kitchen, Making Him a Sammich, Where She Belongs…
  wrapped up in books

Witness The Birth Of The Literary Feud Of The Century Or, Alternately, Go Hear Jim Lehrer

One is not born an enemy of Christopher Hitchens, one becomes one. Take the nascent case of a one Adrian Wooldridge, who’s parading around town with his new book, God Is Back, all about how God is back! Adrian Wooldridge has a world of Slate columns originally scribbled in pink highlighter on Andrew Sullivan’s bathroom floor tiles coming his way. Sad. Read more on Witness The Birth Of The Literary Feud Of The Century Or, Alternately, Go Hear Jim Lehrer…
 

Old Man McCain Just Hates When Cindy Brings Home Strays

There’s a great new interview with pretend First Lady Cindy “Cougar” McCain in San Diego magazine, which is one of those glossy local lifestyle magazines for well-to-do white people. In the Q&A, Cindy reveals how much she loves spending all her time “recuperating” at a beachfront mansion she recently bought on Coronado Island — home of elite Naval commanders and their sand-cougar wives — and explains what really enrages her elderly husband: the way she’s always “bringing home stray everything.” Read more on Old Man McCain Just Hates When Cindy Brings Home Strays…
 

BREAKING: Bill Clinton Turns Down Chance To Hang Out With Jeri Thompson

Bored and frustrated by life in Sacramento’s golden cage, California First Lady Maria Shriver has decided to invite a bunch of potential first ladies to a big gabfest tomorrow! They’ll do their nails, talk about boys, and gamely try to promote their husbands’ candidacies while they die inside by degrees! So if that’s the sort of thing that does it for you, you’ll want to stop by the First Lady’s Conference on Women at the Long Beach Convention Center. Elizabeth Edwards, Michelle Obama, Jeri Thompson, Cindy McCain, and Ann Romney will be showing as many of their teeth as humanly possible while wearing some kind of pantsuit that looks professional but still feminine but not frivolous or lesbian-style professional. (Though we hope that the proximity to Hollywood will cause Jeri to forget herself and don some kind of red carpet-appropriate cleavage showcaser.) Read more on BREAKING: Bill Clinton Turns Down Chance To Hang Out With Jeri Thompson…
 

Google Knows Your, Mitt Romney’s Secrets

It turns out that the various terrible and offensive things we write about all the creeps and fascists running for president affect the way your average loser on the street thinks! At least if your average googler, as simulated by Google Suggest, is any indication. Slate’s Christopher Beam and Chadwick Matlin “investigated” (typed all the candidates names in and saw what funny things came up). Google Suggest suggests you might be asking about the following things: Read more on Google Knows Your, Mitt Romney’s Secrets…
 

America Still Wants to Fuck Bill

Playboy polled its readers as to which of two potential first ladies is sexier. And apparently it’s Bill Clinton over Ann “Mitt’s First and Only Wife” Romney. Because Playboy “readers” are all finally coming to grips with their homoerotic impulses, or something. Also because Ann looks like a middle-aged woman whose had like 500 identical sons, and Bill looks like an old horn-dog. They really shoulda done this with the trophy wives, though. We’d have our own “Mrs. Fred Thompson vs Mrs. Hottie Kucinich” poll but we have to live with ourselves. Battle of the Sexiest [Playboy] Read more on America Still Wants to Fuck Bill…