witchcraft

So a couple weeks back we looked at how Colorado radio preacher Kevin Swanson had figured out that Disney’s Frozen is turning kids gay, because it just does, OK? Well, apparently Rev. Swanson simply can’t Let It Go, Let It Go, because now he’s identified another danger that Frozen and other movies pose to kids: […]

It’s almost as if Pat Robertson knows exactly what he’s doing, even as you’re sure he’s clueless. Case in point: On Monday, a caller to the 700 Fight Club teevee program asked what to do about a question that he has been sitting on, quite uncomfortably, for some time: “Before I met my wife, I […]

BEWITCHED  11:22 am December 14, 2011

Witch Endorses Cultist

by Wonkette Jr.

Regretful teen-aged witch Christine O’Donnell has endorsed bland gazillionaire flip-flopper Mitt Romney — or, to the Newt Gingrich campaign, Mitt Romney the cultist. Why endorse Mitt? According to O’Donnell’s appearance on CNN this morning, it’s because “He’s been consistent since he changed his mind.” Uhh.

We cannot read through all 1,004 comments from last night’s debate liveblogging — this is why comments are robotically moderated, and why we depend upon you to alert us to spammers ‘n lamers who must be banned — but a cursory glance last night revealed that nobody matched the goblins in our Republican Debate Blingee […]

Some newsroom intern in Delaware lost a bet and had to skim Christine O’Donnell’s latest attempt to cash in on her three failed Senate campaigns — “her 358-page book.” Worst assignment ever! Other than a few hundred pages of generic Tea Party filler, O’Donnell is mostly sad about her own hilarious “I’m not a witch” […]

Oh, look what nonsense is filling up our inbox already this morning! Unemployed sorceress Christine O’Donnell is out and about grifting with the pros these days, hawking her new memoir that some Tea Party guy thinks you should buy out of “love and support” for this person you had almost entirely forgotten existed until she […]

The important blog Town Hall helps nervous lower-middle-class old white people believe “conservatism” has something to do with them instead of being a three-decade policy of siphoning away their minimal wealth and giving it to the richest 1%. With this mission in mind, TownHall.com publishes absolutely any fringe-wingnut op-ed writer it can find, including fired-by-everybody-else […]

Unemployed nobody Christine O’Donnell used to masturbate in a “witch costume” just like any uptight gal in the 1980s, but her dumb new ghost-written book — witch-written book? — won’t be about anything good like that. Instead, this nincompoop lady will have her picture on a book about “what it takes to make America great […]

Christine O’Donnell has put out a press release about her investigation by the FBI for misuse of her campaign funds, spent on personal expenses and a hovel-condo where she cooked lost children, presumably. Somehow, the press has not taken this statement and immediately reprinted the important facts it has brought to light. “So given that […]

Delaware masturbation witch and constitutional scholar Christine O’Donnell finally did another teevee interview! It is super boring, but we’ll post it just in case you (like most Americans) have a lot of time on your hands. Better to watch a dull ABC News interview with jobless sex activist Christine O’Donnell rather than let your idle […]

It’s your fun vice president, Joe Biden! Why won’t he get into the SUV-limousine thing like his security team keeps telling him? Because this is Wilmington, and Joe Biden knows every single person in town, so he keeps jabbering to everybody (endangering America).

Hello, clown lady, what video delight from the past are you starring in today? Oh, Bill Maher has dug up another clip from your days as a Politically Incorrect joke? Sure, we’ll watch it. We love watching political talk shows from a decade ago — that’s why we always Tivo the Sunday pundit programs so […]

It has long been whispered in Washington wine bars and Jazzercise studios that Maureen Bridgid Dowd is the heiress to the tradition of the great bards of old, those who sang their lusty story-songs ‘neath the Maypole at Beltane and o’er the bonfires below Tara at Midsummer. In her Sunday column, she turns her ageless […]

Do you remember, a few days ago, when we MADE UP A COMEDIC STORY implying that Christine O’Donnell practices witchcraft? (It was a masturbation joke, somehow, like most mid-September jokes about Christine O’Donnell.) Well, guess what? Christine O’Donnell was actually a witch! But she didn’t “join a coven,” she says, in actual video from the […]

Sometimes we actually read the Politico “Morning Score” email (we know, we know) and today there’s a funny secret GOP-to-Politico communication within the usual pile of conventional wisdom and links to Politico stories. About nutty fraud Christine O’Donnell’s miraculous win last night, a “Republican reader” (Karl Rove) asked, “Is this what S.C. Dems felt like […]