You know, any right-wing jerkoff can compare Democrats/the gays/undocumented immigrants/kittens to Hitler. In fact, there’s probably some sort of special right-wing keyboard that comes with a macro for just that so they can be all efficient-like. But it takes some real over-the-top proactive synergized thinking to skip Hitler and go right on up to SATAN […]

Greetings faithful Wonkettes! What a perfect crapstorm of a week in guns, what with people shooting unarmed people and then other people screaming that they were justified and courts agreeing and then the rest of us bleeding from our ear holes, because of all the screaming. But under all the screaming there were a couple […]

By now you have probably read about the Great TAMPONGHAZI!!!! at the Texas capitol building in Austin Friday. While the state senate went through their little Kabuki theater to pass a bill with stringent restrictions on abortion, everybody entering the gallery to watch the performance got searched for contraband tampons by officers of the Department […]

Pity the poor lady Republicans who can’t seem to keep their menfolk in line. After Republicans learned the hard way that saying stupid shit about rape and abortion is not actually a winning electoral strategy (just ask Senators Todd Akin and Richard Mourdock), there was some chatter about maybe not doing that anymore. Some of […]

Keeping up with the anti-abortion laws coming out of the state legislatures these days is a little like playing a demented game of Whack-A-Mole: no sooner does one pop up over here for you to club over the head than another one pops up over there, and you try to club that one too, and […]

Would you believe that holding a recruitment drive for the NSA is, well, not so easy these days? Apparently some Americans — probably just the ones who are not quite desperate enough for gainful employment and medical benefits — are a little bit uncomfortable with working for an agency that is explicitly tasked with secretly […]

YOU CAN’T. YOU CAN’T JUST SHOOT PEOPLE IN THE FACE. Well, we are finally updatin’ atcha with pictures from our Madison, Wisconsin, party, which must have been two months ago now, but after five hard years on the road, we no longer have a concept of things like “months” and “time.” In fact, since that […]

OK, it’s your turn, Wonkconsin and Wonkesota! The Wonk Your Brains Out Midwest-Southwest Orgy and World Tour is in your neck of the woods! Tonight, Friday June 14, 6 p.m.: Madison, Wisconsin. (Can someone invite Scott Walker? Or the Tank Riot guys?) Harmony, 2201 Atwood Ave., Madison, WI 53704 (608) 249-4333

Man, anti-union free market capitalism ain’t what it used to be. A few years ago, rightwing hero and prolific union-h8r Scott Walker soared into the governorship of Wisconsin with the slogan, “Wisconsin Is Open for Business.” Within a few months, he was wiping corporate jizz off his chin after ramming through right-to-work legislation and sticking […]

This just in: Walmart, depressing as it is, would be an EVEN MORE depressing place to work if taxpayers weren’t subsidizing the low, low wages paid to Walmart employees. Yes, that’s right! You, me, and all the other taxpayers in the room are subsidizing the wages of Walmart workers. It’s almost like we are shareholders, […]

Hey, which state hates Poors the most? If you guessed Florida, we’d understand your instincts, but you’d be wrong (today anyway) because Wisconsin is going to prohibit Poors from buying several types of cheese. Yes, cheese. Not “cheez” or “cheez füd” but “cheese,” as in Swiss, Cheddar, and low sodium. (No word yet on cedar […]

Come on. What difference does it make that Wisconsin Senator Ron Johnson, last seen getting clowned by Hillary Clinton, wasn’t at the intelligence briefing on Benghazi? At John Kerry’s somnolent confirmation hearing for Secretary of State on Thursday, Kerry showed up Sen. Ron Johnson (R-Galt’s Gulch), on the latter’s very serious public crusade to get […]

Do you yearn for a time when the day after Christmas was all about throwing your useless wrapping paper into the man-made canal behind your house, instead of marking the beginning of the white, leftist holiday of Kwanzaa with a ceremonial dangling of the American flag inches above a lit Kinara? Wisconsin State Senator Glenn […]

Greetings Wonketeers, and welcome to the day before the day before the beginning of the next four years of our lives! Yes, as of Tuesday we can hopefully stop hearing about Mitt Romney and Bronco Bama, and move on to either sighing with relief or planning our move to Canada. But first, let us pause […]

 Mitt Romney has a lot of skills you guys. Reading balance sheets! Being unemployed! Avoiding taxes! Running a business! Using an etch-a-sketch! Etc! But probably his BEST and most useful skillset is lying. Shamelessly lying, right in your face, and right in Candy Crowley’s face, and right in the President’s face. Is it therefore a […]