Tag Archives: wisconsin

  Politigation

With No Other Problems In Sight, GOP Will Spend 2015 Fighting Obamacare

Pic via sugarfreeglow Welcome to 2015, Republicans! With the changing of the year, we assume you’ll be turning over a new leaf, looking toward the future and leaving behind the petty bickering and toddler-like tantrums that characterized 2014. Ha ha, just kidding, of course. Read more on With No Other Problems In Sight, GOP Will Spend 2015 Fighting Obamacare…
  The New Math

GOP’s New Math Will Cut Your Taxes And Bankrupt America, So Basically A Wash

Pic via 1Funny As the year draws to a close, we here in the Washington Bureau are grateful for many things. Because we are Americans, we are most grateful for our capital-F Freedom and its valiant defenders, not least the right-wing fiscal fringers of the coming 114th Congress. These brave budget warriors will liberate us from the tyranny of traditional government math, freeing us from the chains of logic and allowing our wildest fiscal fantasies to come true. Read more on GOP’s New Math Will Cut Your Taxes And Bankrupt America, So Basically A Wash…
  outstanding achievements in shitmuffinry

Nominate Your Terrible Local Lawmakers for Legislative Sh*tmuffin of the Year!

It’s that time of year again, Wonketeers! We’re gathering nominations for our coveted Legislative Shitmuffin of the Year award. Competition for 2014 honors in both national and state divisions has been fierce and we want to be sure we don’t overlook any worthy nominees, particularly among those who ply their trade in the state capitol buildings across our great nation. Read more on Nominate Your Terrible Local Lawmakers for Legislative Sh*tmuffin of the Year!…
  How Is Babby Incarcerated?

Wisconsin Likes Jailing Pregnant Ladies Too, For The Children

Pregnant women are for punishin'
Looks like Wisconsin is the latest state to get in on the hot new “Throw Pregnant Women in Jail” trend. Motivated in equal parts by the “pro-life” movement and plain old misogyny — but we repeat ourselves — prosecutors in Alabama and Texas have been jailing pregnant women who have tested positive for drug use. This is ostensibly for the sake of the fetus, because any woman who’d take drugs while pregnant is obviously a child abuser, but the women treated to the states’ tender mercies often end up getting lousy prenatal care in prison, not to mention their diminished job prospects once the babby is born and mom has a criminal record. And now Wisconsin is getting in on the trend, too. Read more on Wisconsin Likes Jailing Pregnant Ladies Too, For The Children…
  Oy Gefilte!

Scott Walker Wished Jewish Friends A Merry Jewish Christmas And An Incendiary New Year

And then the kids spin the grenadel
Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker is definitely giving some serious thought to running for president — like, more serious thought than Donald Trump, even — and to do that, he’s going to have to prove that he is a friend of Israel and of The Jews. Not necessarily a friend to the majority of American Jews, who foolishly keep supporting Democrats, despite Ben Shapiro yelling at them, but he needs to at least prove that he’s worthy of some Sheldon Adelson money. And so he makes the appropriate gestures of love for Israel, which is both a great beacon of democracy and a necessary prop that will be needed to bring about the End Times. He even made a point of goysplaining, at a Las Vegas Adelsonfest, that he named his son Matthew, which is Hebrew for “gift from God,” and that he celebrates the Birth of Our Saviour Jesus Christ with both Christmas lights and “a menorah candle.” See, he’s trying real hard! Unfortunately, not every attempt to be hip and fit in works so well, as we are reminded by Madison’s Capital Times. As part of a document dump from last year’s “John Doe” investigations of Walker’s administration, the group One Wisconsin found an amusing artifact from Walker’s pre-governor days, when he was Milwaukee County executive. Franklyn Gimbel, an attorney from Milwaukee, had written about setting up a Chanukah display at the Milwaukee County Courthouse, and Walker enthusiastically replied: Read more on Scott Walker Wished Jewish Friends A Merry Jewish Christmas And An Incendiary New Year…
  Firing Blanks In The Culture War

America-Hating Libs Murder Veterans Day Because They Fear Guns. Or Not.

Why not just let the kids know what WW I was really about?
Thank heavens we’ve got a good Culture War overlay for your Veterans/Armistice/Remembrance Day, America. According to a number of rightwing websites, the gun-hating (and hence Freedom-hating) liberals in charge of the Eau Claire, Wisconsin, School District have completely cancelled Veterans Day programs, denying children of a chance to learn about what makes their country great. Read more on America-Hating Libs Murder Veterans Day Because They Fear Guns. Or Not….
  If It's Sunday It's A Good Thing There's A 2:00 Replay

Scott Walker: Only ‘Fresh, Organic’ GOP Governors Can Beat Moldy Old Hillary

We have to admit, Wonketteers, that we did not stick to our Chuck Todd diet. We really did intend to get up every Sunday for Meet the Press to see Chuck’s tough questioning of the Biggest Names in News and stay in shape with his touchscreen map upper-body workouts, but it wasn’t until his first show after the Democrats were sent to live on the farm upstate that he enticed us to come back by landing an EXCLUSIVE interview with Scott Walker, King of Wisconsin. Read more on Scott Walker: Only ‘Fresh, Organic’ GOP Governors Can Beat Moldy Old Hillary…
  Christie/Walker 2016

Scott Walker Clinches Lowest Seed In 2016 Primary Bracket

So… Wisconsin. We here at the Washington Bureau have largely averted our eyes from this particular race until now, preferring instead to ease ourselves into the abstract knowledge that Scott Walker was, in fact, rewarded for his behavior with another term in office. Read more on Scott Walker Clinches Lowest Seed In 2016 Primary Bracket…
  Wonkette Guide to Electoral Shenanigans

Here’s Your Complete Guide To Frauding The Vote On Election Day

  When it comes to threats against fair elections in America, voter fraud is the new Black Panthers. The way everyone’s talking about electoral integrity this fall, people must be fake-voting coast to coast! With the midterm elections coming up on Tuesday, it’s time to ask: Is voter fraud right for you? Read more on Here’s Your Complete Guide To Frauding The Vote On Election Day…
  Walker 2016

Some Of Scott Walker’s Best Friends Are Women

Hey, ladies of Wisconsin! With the election that decides his political future coming up next week, your feminist hero Gov. Scott Walker has remembered that you’re allowed to vote, just in time for him to put one of your kind on TV to make a not-at-all disingenuous play for your support. Read more on Some Of Scott Walker’s Best Friends Are Women…
  senioritis

Scott Walker Gets Some Chris Christie All Over Him, On Purpose

Image via YouTube With a little over a week to go before Election Day, Scott Walker is increasingly a man in need of a helping hand. His once-certain re-election as King of Wisconsin has taken up residence in every pollster’s “no idea, don’t ask us” box, the U.S. Supreme Court cruelly dashed his hopes of excluding thousands of largely Democratic voters from the polls, a new batch of documents just dropped from the investigation that’s taken down a half-dozen of his underlings and cronies, and his opponent Mary Burke has been landing punches (with ads) and drawing big crowds with visits from a string of Democratic superstars. Read more on Scott Walker Gets Some Chris Christie All Over Him, On Purpose…
  i renounced and denounced your mom last night

Green Bay Alderman Will Listen To Citizen Just As Soon As She Isn’t A Terrorist

A nice lady in Green Bay, Wisconsin, wrote her alderman, because she is a good citizen. “Hey,” she wrote, “howsabout some free bus service on Election Day for the poors and democracy and suchlike?” But she wrote it classier because she is not Yr Wonkette. “Sure,” Chris Wery responded, “just as soon as you, A Muslim, denounce and renounce Sharia law and Hamas.” Well, um, hrmmmm? Read more on Green Bay Alderman Will Listen To Citizen Just As Soon As She Isn’t A Terrorist…
  shhhh! that's your inner monologue

RNC Lady Wishes You Weren’t Stupid, Wisconsin

Wisconsin voters head for the polls, apparently.
Everyone say hello to Sharon Day, co-chair of the Republican National Committee and today’s winner of the “Shhh! You’re Not Supposed To Say That Out Loud” award. Day was visiting Wisconsin to fire up the troops working to re-elect Scott Walker as governor when she spoke the following aloud at a field office in Waukesha. Read more on RNC Lady Wishes You Weren’t Stupid, Wisconsin…
  Walker 2016

Oh Hey, Looks Like That Lady Might Beat Scott Walker, Huh!

Hey, what do I know?
Republican Gov. Scott Walker might be too busy pre-presidenting to notice the disaster he’s been as union-busting boss of the great state of Wisconsin, but a new Marquette University poll suggests that a growing number of likely voters in the state are on to him. Scotty is now running neck-and-neck with his Democratic challenger, former state commerce secretary and Trek Bicycle executive Mary Burke, among those who say they’re most likely to show up to the polls in November. Read more on Oh Hey, Looks Like That Lady Might Beat Scott Walker, Huh!…
  the winds of change

Is This Scott Walker Farting?

poot.
Wonket operative “Lisa” writes in with the HOT TIP about Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker possibly making a pooty in his pants: Hey there Wonkette, During the live feed of Scott Walker’s Milwaukee Journal Sentinel editorial board meeting, I’m pretty sure he farted: Read more on Is This Scott Walker Farting?…
  field trips

Republicans Celebrate Success Of Voter Suppression With Fancy Luncheon

One smug bastard
Photo by Beth Ethier Voter fraud is so hot right now. This year’s midterm elections are only a few weeks away, and courts are still ruling left and right on the identification requirements that states can impose on their voters as a remedy to the virtually non-existent threat of voter impersonation. Read more on Republicans Celebrate Success Of Voter Suppression With Fancy Luncheon…
  Your Morning Maddow

Rachel Maddow: Voting Is A Right, Just Like Gay Marriage (Video)

Pennies from heaven...
Monday night, Rachel Maddow was positively giddy about the Supreme Court’s decision to let stand lower courts’ pro-marriage equality rulings. By Tuesday, she was wondering whether federal courts would figure out that voting is supposed to be a fairly absolute right as well. Read more on Rachel Maddow: Voting Is A Right, Just Like Gay Marriage (Video)…
  Open up and say awwwwww yeah

Gay Supreme Court Jams Gay Gay Marriage Down Red States’ Gay Gay Gay Throats (With Gayness)

Yeah, we're getting throat-crammed
The Supreme Court is sick and tired of your whining, red states, and does not even want to hear you cry about gay marriage anymore. The justices already told you your dumb marriage bans are dumb, and what part of “IT’S THE 21ST CENTURY, GET OVER IT ALREADY!!!” do you not understand? Read more on Gay Supreme Court Jams Gay Gay Marriage Down Red States’ Gay Gay Gay Throats (With Gayness)…
  GOP will put a stop to all this GOP voter fraud

Voter Fraud Is Real, And It’s All Republicans

Sometimes you just forget you already did that
Republican governors and secretaries of state are determined to stop the scourge of Voter Fraud, by ensuring that the wrong kind of people can’t vote. (Poors, minorities, Democrats — you know the type.) Sure we laugh at them, but it’s no laughing matter. Voter fraud is a real problem. Among Republicans, anyway. Read more on Voter Fraud Is Real, And It’s All Republicans…
  Her horse is still classier than you people

Ladies, Stop Offending Ann Romney With How Stupid You Are

Offended Egg is offended
How many times does Her Royal Horse-Riding Majesty Ann Romney have to explain this to YOU PEOPLE? Sheesh! This so-called “war on women” claptrap Democrats can’t stop blah blahing about is so dumb and so 2012 and so not even real anyway, so why are women — who are so much smarter than Democrats think they are — so stupid as to keep falling for it? HUH? Read more on Ladies, Stop Offending Ann Romney With How Stupid You Are…
  Walker's Irregulars

Wisconsin Militia Will Save Election From Criminal Democrats (And Not Just The Black Ones)

Republicans in Wisconsin, and those few Democrats who are not criminals, should be feeling extra safe about Election Day this November. That’s because some anti-labor irregulars left over from the Wisconsin Union Wars are vowing to protect democracy from the many tax dodgers and fugitives who might be tempted to vote against Republican governor and urine enthusiast Scott Walker. Read more on Wisconsin Militia Will Save Election From Criminal Democrats (And Not Just The Black Ones)…