wisconsin
Wisconsin Considers Forbidding Poors From Buying Cheese
Hey, which state hates Poors the most? If you guessed Florida, we’d understand your instincts, but you’d be wrong (today anyway) because Wisconsin is going to prohibit Poors from buying several types of cheese. Yes, cheese. Not “cheez” or “cheez füd” but “cheese,” as in Swiss, Cheddar, and low sodium. (No word yet on cedar [...]
Idiot Senator Complains About Lack Of Benghazi Briefings He Skipped, Just Like The Other Idiots (UPDATE!)
Come on. What difference does it make that Wisconsin Senator Ron Johnson, last seen getting clowned by Hillary Clinton, wasn’t at the intelligence briefing on Benghazi? At John Kerry’s somnolent confirmation hearing for Secretary of State on Thursday, Kerry showed up Sen. Ron Johnson (R-Galt’s Gulch), on the latter’s very serious public crusade to get [...]
Wisconsin Pol: Why Do We Care About Kwanzaa When It Wasn’t Even on The Cosby Show?
Do you yearn for a time when the day after Christmas was all about throwing your useless wrapping paper into the man-made canal behind your house, instead of marking the beginning of the white, leftist holiday of Kwanzaa with a ceremonial dangling of the American flag inches above a lit Kinara? Wisconsin State Senator Glenn [...]
A Children’s Treasury of Wacky Swing State Voter ‘Irregularities’
Greetings Wonketeers, and welcome to the day before the day before the beginning of the next four years of our lives! Yes, as of Tuesday we can hopefully stop hearing about Mitt Romney and Bronco Bama, and move on to either sighing with relief or planning our move to Canada. But first, let us pause [...]
God-Like Mitt Romney Imparts Great Gift Of Lying To Grateful Wisconsin Poll-Watchers
Mitt Romney has a lot of skills you guys. Reading balance sheets! Being unemployed! Avoiding taxes! Running a business! Using an etch-a-sketch! Etc! But probably his BEST and most useful skillset is lying. Shamelessly lying, right in your face, and right in Candy Crowley’s face, and right in the President’s face. Is it therefore a [...]
Should You Give An Opinion On Rape?
Man, it is like you cannot even tenderly explain that “some girls, they rape so easy” without everyone making a FEDERAL CASE OUT OF IT. Paul Ryan is the latest fair-weather friend to drop an endorsement of poor misunderstood Wisconsin Rep. Roger Rivard, just for explaining his own father’s nuanced words of wisdom about how [...]
Midwest Madness: Your Wisconsin Senate Debate Liveblog!
Welcome to all of the Wonkers with nothing else to do on a Friday night! Whether you’re here because you have small children, or because you are a shut-in, or because you haven’t yet figured out how to reprogram your court-ordered ankle bracelet, we bid you welcome! Tonight’s debate features a titanic political standoff between [...]
Look Who Suddenly Supports Labor Now That Scabs Are Messing With Football (Hint: It Is Scott Walker)
Oh LOOK who is suddenly on the side of organized labor, now that a bunch of scab refs are messing with his precious football? (Hint: it is Scott Walker, the union-busting asshole of a governor from Wisconsin.)
Bryan Fischer: Sikh-Temple Shooter Hated Herman Cain, Was A Liberal, Q.E.D.
Doodly doodly doo, twitter twitter twitter. Oh, what’s this? Bryan Fischer, of the wonderful and loving and Christian in totally the best sense of the religion American Family Association, do you have some Thoughts on the Sikh temple massacre, which you think would be important to share with the world? FANTASTIC. But hmmm, we are [...]
In Wake Of Temple Shooting, Pat Robertson Strikes Ecumenical Note: ‘It’s The Atheists’
We never thought we would live to see the day when gross old perv Pat Robertson declared that whether worshiping at a Baptist church or a Sikh temple, all believers were worshiping God. The fuck you say! Luckily, Robertson immediately restored our faith in him by explaining all these horrible massacres are committed by (who [...]
This Episode Of Aaron Sorkin’s Newsroom Will Rank With The M*A*S*H* Finale, We Are Sure
Turn on the Benny Hill music! Our noble newscast is bumbling and flailing like it is not the greatest newscast in the history of Edward R. Murrow! Everything is going wrong! Their dude in Egypt — the Rachel Maddow/Stephen Colbert whom Keith Olbermann/Jon Stewart has helped to get his or her own newscast following KO/JS’s [...]
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