Washington DC, the most powerful city in the world, was paralyzed last night by a deadly “wintry mix” of frozen water and slightly less frozen water. Upwards of two inches of the mysterious powder descended upon the city like white death, leaving buses running on emergency schedules, trains aflame, and major roads beset with vigilantes on tricked-out motorcycles. MORE »

Ok, we’re going to agree with Howard Mortman. This might be the dumbest press briefing question ever: MORE »

* Do we really need to say anything more than “Amatuer Pink Vegan Jello Wrestling”? Registration ends at 6, so get your hot Vegan ass down to 18th St. pronto, ladies. [Asylum]
* If your significant other doesn’t want you wrestling or ogling (or if, for some bizarre reason, that scene doesn’t appeal to you), the Black Cat’s annual V-Day dance party is being held, confusingly, at Local 16 tonight. If you don’t have a significant other, show up and sort of nod your head in the back. [WP CityGuide]
* It’s still winter! Go ice skating! Hurry! It’ll all melt and then we’ll be stuck with lame summer activities like golf and sweating! [Reston Town Center]

* Try as hard as you can to conquer your whiteness. Wu-Tang Clan (who, we hear, are nothing to fuck with), on the O.D.B. tribute tour, perform at the 9:30 Club. [9:30 Club]
* Go hit on an environmentalist at the Sierra Club’s Second Monday Valentine Happy Hour. Feel free to demand that whomever your flirting with write their contact information on a clipboard. [Upcoming]
* Go sledding before it all melts, fer chrissakes. And keep in mind that the only way to recapture that youthful spirit once you’re an adult is to get smashed first. It also loosens you up when you crash. [Rock Creek Park]