Tag Archives: wingnuts outraged

  Cooking The Books

Mean New York Times Won’t Let Ted Cruz Cheat His Way Onto Bestseller List

To Grift, or not to Grift...
Oh, see how the liberal New York Times is mistreating and suppressing Ted Cruz! Outrageous! Horrors! His publisher sold a bejillion copies of his new book-shaped object, A Time For Truth: Reigniting the Promise of America, but is the Times giving it the place it deserves on the Bestseller list? Obviously it is not, because the New York Times just hates books by conservatives, like Chris Kyle’s American Sniper (still on the combined book/ebook list after 72 weeks) or David Brooks’s The Road To Character, or Ann Coulter’s Adios, America!, (currently #6 and #11 on Hardcover nonfiction). Read more on Mean New York Times Won’t Let Ted Cruz Cheat His Way Onto Bestseller List…
  Easter: A Time For Airing Grievances

Obama Stomps All Over Jesus At Easter Prayer Breakfast, Wingnuts Outraged

Here's the Atheist Muslim Secularist quoting Jesus again
Oh, dear, there goes Barack Obama again, attacking all of Christendom with an unspeakable slur! A few weeks back he offended all decent Christians by saying historically accurate things about the Crusades and slavery to note that bad things are sometimes done in the name of religion, even though they violate the tenets of those religions — clear code for “I like ISIS a whole lot!” Now he’s gone and profaned the Risen Lord by slagging on all of Christendom at a post-Easter “Easter Prayer Breakfast” held Tuesday morning. Just how horrible was the slur against Christians that Obama delivered? Just take a look at this hed at Gateway Pundit, where Jim Hoft continues his desperate bid to regain his crown as Stupidest Man on the Internet: Read more on Obama Stomps All Over Jesus At Easter Prayer Breakfast, Wingnuts Outraged…
  Semper Tea

Traitor Barack Obama Murders America Again, With A Cup

America: the last days
America is finally dead. Completely dead. Oh sure, you thought maybe it was dead before when the Kenyan socialist Muslim Nazi indoctrinated innocent schoolchildren by urging them to study hard, or when the feckless tyrant wimp dictator made Marines hold umbrellas, but this time our once-great nation is dead, dead, dead. Barack Obama held a Styrofoam cup full of tea while he came down the steps of Marine One Tuesday and (it pains us so much to write this that we can barely make out the keyboard through our tears) kept the cup in his hand while saluting his Marine guards. The final moment of America, a once-great nation, was even sent out on Instagram by the White House, just to gloat over the unspeakable crime: Read more on Traitor Barack Obama Murders America Again, With A Cup…
  motorin'...what's your price for flight?

Motorcade For Imperial High Snotnose Obama Arrogantly Delays Pregnant Lady, INPEACH!

He smiled, KNOWINGLY. Inpeach!!!
The Imperial President King of the Formerly United States, Barack Hussein Marie Antoinette Louis XVI Obama, arrogantly forced a pregnant woman to wait to cross the street to a hospital while his motorcade passed in Los Angeles Wednesday. Needless to say, the Wingnuttosphere was all over the story, because it’s just one more symptom of how THAT MAN thinks he is better than the rest of us. You can bet that the motorcade would have come to a screeching halt if the lady had “looked like Obama’s son.” Read more on Motorcade For Imperial High Snotnose Obama Arrogantly Delays Pregnant Lady, INPEACH!…
  it ain't a soup

INPEACH! Obama Chewed Gum At D-Day Ceremony, Wingnuts Outraged

We sure do miss our Newsmax feed, because we almost missed this important Poutrage Update: Barack Obama, the alleged Leader of the Free World, insulted the memory of all the hallowed dead of the Normandy Invasion on Friday when he was seen chewing gum during the commemorative ceremonies. Even worser, the walking nicotine-addicted shamebucket that is our putative President also insulted our British allies by openly masticating in public while applauding the arrival of Her Royal Highness Queen Elizabeth II. It is not known whether any corgis were also insulted in the incident. Read more on INPEACH! Obama Chewed Gum At D-Day Ceremony, Wingnuts Outraged…
  domo arigato

Stupidest Man On Internet Fears Obama’s True Loyalty Is To Mister Roboto

How is Barack Obama insulting America’s dignity today? Jim Hoft, the Stupidest Man on the Internet, reveals that the weak-willed absolute tyrant, whose spineless foreign policy encouraged the Russians to invade Ukraine even as he has dictatorially crammed health insurance down our throats, is now bowing not merely to foreign potentates, but even to foreign robots. Has this man no sense of dignity, no sense of what is just and proper? America bows to no one! Read more on Stupidest Man On Internet Fears Obama’s True Loyalty Is To Mister Roboto…
  inventing situations - putting them on t.v.

Supreme Emperor Barack Obama Demands Advance Copies Of ‘Game Of Thrones,’ ‘True Detective’

Oh, those high-living Obamas are up to their early-viewing tyranny again. In 2012 Michelle stoled all the Downton Abbeys, and now Barack Obama has muscled the CEO of HBO into giving him advance copies of the new season of Game of Thrones and the last three episodes of True Detective. Oh it is so very outrageous. So very, very outrageous. And, uh, arrogant, too, we guess. Frankly, we’re not even sure the Usual Wingnuts are even bothering to get upset over this. See, for instance, Taylor Bigler at Tucker Carlson’s House O’ Spleen, who seems to be parodying rightwing outrage more than actually trying to stir it up: Who exactly does President Barack HUSSEIN Obama think he is, anyway? The King of England? Obama tried to leverage his position as Commander in Chief to curry favor from HBO honcho Richard Plepler at the recent state dinner for the French president … If Obama did receive the episodes early — and he may have — he would have spent 16 hours in front of the television instead of focusing on governing our great nation. Yeah, that’s just trolling, isn’t it? She managed to get a “playing golf all day” in there, too. Beats us, but that all-caps HUSSEIN strikes us as the tip-off that we’re reading a parody here. (But Poe’s Law applies, as ever.) Well-played, Ms. Bigler! Read more on Supreme Emperor Barack Obama Demands Advance Copies Of ‘Game Of Thrones,’ ‘True Detective’…
  we're only making plans for nigel

UK Defense Minister Apologizes For Suggesting Wingnut Party Leader Enjoys Finger In His Bottom

Sometimes, this “civility” thing may be just a little overrated. Consider, for instance, the awesomely unconcerned-about-fee-fees response of Houston’s Gay Lady Mayor Annise Parker to the homophobic idiot Phil Robertson: “What some redneck wingnut has to say about the GLBT community is completely irrelevant.” And from “across the pond,” a phrase which here means “in jolly old Blighty,” there’s Anna Soubry, a Defence Minister responsible for veterans and soldiers’ welfare, who made some rather impolite comments about one Nigel Farage, the leader of the very, very rightwing UK Independence Party, a Libertarian fringe party that wants a flat tax, wants England out of the European Union, and doesn’t believe in climate change because weren’t you reading up to this point? So anyway, the controversy: On some “breakfast television” programme — in England, they call television “the lorry” — Soubry reacted to comedian Rory Bremner’s impersonation of Nigel Farage by saying: “I always think he looks like somebody has put their finger up his bottom and he really rather likes it’.” Needless to say, Mr. Farage was all kinds of butthurt, though he denied this was in the literal sense. He also thought that all you cheeky monkeys should stop looking at his bum. Read more on UK Defense Minister Apologizes For Suggesting Wingnut Party Leader Enjoys Finger In His Bottom…
  thanks for clarifying that

Gay Lady Houston Mayor Does Not Care One Bit About Duck Dynasty Dude

Can’t really argue with the opinion of Houston Mayor Annise Parker on this one. Asked for her thoughts on the whole Phil Robertson duck-tussle, Parker, the contentedly out lesbian mayor lady said: “I have never watched ‘Duck Dynasty,’ so I don’t think about it much at all,” Parker responded. “I’ve been a gay community activist since the mid-70s. It was a very different time. We were fighting to keep people out of jails and mental hospitals. What some redneck wingnut has to say about the GLBT community is completely irrelevant.” Needless to say, the Wingnuttosphere is Not Pleased. The nine fulltime employees of Twitchy were horrified, and even played the “It’s a good thing there’s nothing else pressing happening in Houston” card, because that’s always new and fresh. (Seriously, if you ever catch Yr Doktor Zoom pulling out that particular cliché, mock him relentlessly. He reserves the right to cling to other clichés, however) Read more on Gay Lady Houston Mayor Does Not Care One Bit About Duck Dynasty Dude…
  deductible dynasty

Barack Obama Signs Up For Obamacare, Arrogantly No Doubt

Barack Obama signed up for a purely-for-the-symbolism health insurance policy under the Affordable Care Act, earning some tut-tutting from the Blaze:”Look Who’s Reportedly Signing up for Obamacare on the Last Day Possible.” (The Blaze later added an update that explained that he had actually signed up over the weekend, but left the story largely intact, because hey, lazy President still waited til the last minute, just like some Wonkette blogger or something. Also, too, the White House allowed one extra day for people to finish signing up, because it has no respect for the Rule Of Law. Read more on Barack Obama Signs Up For Obamacare, Arrogantly No Doubt…
  not the way they want to see him hanging

Twitchy And Stupidest Man On Internet Perturbed By Obama’s Graven Image In London Embassy

Here’s today’s entry in the Obama’s America Is Just Like North Korea sweepstakes: Stupidest Man on the Internet Jim Hoft is disgusted by the decorating decisions that Barack Obama has personally made for the U.S. Embassy in London. Following up on a Twitchy story about a fairly bland tweet from the embassy, Hoft’s headline leaves no doubt of Obama’s maniacal self-aggrandizement: “CREEPY! Selfie President Inserts Himself Between Washington and Lincoln” Yep, that’s one scary image, there: a tapestry of the POTUS, hanging on a side wall of a meeting room in the Embassy. God, it’s like an altar or something!!! Cult of personality! Do the embassy officials have to sing a song of praise to The One every morning? Read more on Twitchy And Stupidest Man On Internet Perturbed By Obama’s Graven Image In London Embassy…
  they see me trollin'

Obama Touches Raul Castro’s Communist Fingers At Mandela Funeral, Wingnuts Outraged

Monstrous America-hating monster Barack Obama touched a communist today at the memorial service for Nelson Mandela, leading to fairly predictable speculation that the handshake with Cuban President Raul Castro was either evidence of warming relations between the two countries, or proof that Obama shares Mandela’s love for communism, terrorism, and hating Israel. Plus, maybe Obama bowed. Check the video! Was that a bow? Castro’s shorter, so yeah, definitely a bow! Did he whisper state secrets into the communist leader’s ear? INPEACH! Besides, everybody knows you are supposed to spit on people at state funerals and then kick them in the nuts. This Barack Hussein Obama has obviously never read Miss Manners. Read more on Obama Touches Raul Castro’s Communist Fingers At Mandela Funeral, Wingnuts Outraged…
  now he belongs to the rages

Who Are The Obamas Insulting By Attending Mandela’s Funeral?

You kind of figured this had to be on the way: Internet wingnuts are now complaining that by honoring the memory of Nelson Mandela, Barack Obama is retroactively insulting other people, conservatives especially. This is only logical. For instance, Dead Breitbart’s Home For Scabies-Afflicted Dingos has a lengthy piece about the horrible, horrible slur that this is to our Best Ally Ever, because the Preznit did not attend the funeral of Baroness Margaret Thatcher. Instead, the official delegation was headed by a couple of nobodies named James A. Baker and George Schultz, which was a slap in the face to the memory of the woman who Kept The Falklands Free. And how do we know this was an epic diss? Why, from the British tabloids that whined about it, of course. And also from the well-known fact that Barack Obama so hates colonialism that he hollowed out that bust of Churchill to use as a urinal. Read more on Who Are The Obamas Insulting By Attending Mandela’s Funeral?…
  our american nephew

Obama Did A Lie About Kenyans

Drudge Sirens Panic Where’s the birth sertifikate INNPEACH!!! It appears that B. Hussein Obama, the alleged “President of the United States,” lied through his teeth in 2011 when someone other than Barack Obama said that Barack Obama had never met his Kenyan uncle. Confused? Well then, become enlightened, via the Boston Globe: President Obama acknowledged on Thursday that he lived with his Kenyan uncle for a brief period in the 1980s while preparing to attend Harvard Law School, contradicting a statement more than a year ago that the White House had no record of the two ever meeting … On Thursday, a White House official said the press office had not fully researched the relationship between the president and his uncle before telling the Globe that they had no record of the two meeting. This time, the press office asked the president directly, which they had not done in 2011. Likely story. If they didn’t “fully research” it then, then how is it that Barack Obama remembers it NOW, when they directly asked him, hennggh? Why didn’t Barack Obama correct the record the minute he read the press office’s denial two years ago, which he had to have been aware of, because surely he keeps track of all White House press contacts? What kind of weird cover-up is going on here? Will we ever see Barack Obama’s college transcripts? Who is this man, anyway, and has anyone even thought about looking into his background a little bit? Where was Obama’s uncle the night of Benghazi? Read more on Obama Did A Lie About Kenyans…
  every flavor but pinkie

Obamas Have 9 Kinds Of Pie For Thanksgiving, Wingnuts Outraged

We guess Barack Obama must have mentioned God in his Thanksgiving proclamation this year, since we haven’t seen a million angry blog posts bitching about it. (And there it is — “we rise or fall as one Nation, under God” — a blatant attempt to make up for his Gettysburg libel, too.*) Thankfully, even if they can’t trot out the “war on religion” trope, wingnuts can still accuse the Obamas of being Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette, because as has been widely reported, the White House served nine types of pie at Thanksgiving this year — or as the Daily Mail headline put it, “NINE different types of pie.” This is of course the worst sort of hypocrisy, since 1) No other president has eaten well while some Americans were unemployed and 2) Michelle promotes healthy eating, but for a holiday dinner they didn’t eat only kale and rice cakes. Read more on Obamas Have 9 Kinds Of Pie For Thanksgiving, Wingnuts Outraged…
  not well-adapted to his environment

Ohio Nice Time! Creationist Science Teacher Stays Fired, Will Have To Lie To Kids On Own Time

So here is some good news for a change: the Ohio Supreme Court upheld the firing of former eighth-grad science teacher John Freshwater, who has become just the latest victim of the Constitution’s dumb insistence that teachers can’t proselytize to their students, even if they call it “critical thinking about evolution.” Now, to be completely, boringly accurate, the court actually didn’t even consider the question of whether Freshwater had illegally dragged religion into his teaching; the Ohio Supremes — which sounds like two great soul bands — simply upheld a lower court’s decision that the school was justified in firing him for refusing to remove religious materials from his classroom: “We recognize that this case is driven by a far more powerful debate over the teaching of creationism and intelligent design alongside evolution,” the court noted in its decision. “(But) here, we need not decide whether Freshwater acted with a permissible or impermissible intent because we hold that he was insubordinate, and his termination can be justified on that basis alone.” What? Teachers have to remove non-educational materials from their classrooms when school administrators tell them to, and it’s “insubordination” when they decide that they’d rather keep their Bibles and posters of GW Bush praying and other religious materials on display? The deuce you say! And to think, the court didn’t even get a chance to consider whether it also would have been OK to fire Freshwater for using a Tesla coil to burn a cross into a 13-year-old boy’s arm. In any case, even though it looks like the school had multiple reasons to fire Freshwater, it’s quite clear that he is a victim of persecution for his religion. Read more on Ohio Nice Time! Creationist Science Teacher Stays Fired, Will Have To Lie To Kids On Own Time…