Tag Archives: wingnuts outraged

  Easter: A Time For Airing Grievances

Obama Stomps All Over Jesus At Easter Prayer Breakfast, Wingnuts Outraged

Here's the Atheist Muslim Secularist quoting Jesus again
Oh, dear, there goes Barack Obama again, attacking all of Christendom with an unspeakable slur! A few weeks back he offended all decent Christians by saying historically accurate things about the Crusades and slavery to note that bad things are sometimes done in the name of religion, even though they violate the tenets of those religions — clear code for “I like ISIS a whole lot!” Now he’s gone and profaned the Risen Lord by slagging on all of Christendom at a post-Easter “Easter Prayer Breakfast” held Tuesday morning. Just how horrible was the slur against Christians that Obama delivered? Just take a look at this hed at Gateway Pundit, where Jim Hoft continues his desperate bid to regain his crown as Stupidest Man on the Internet: Read more on Obama Stomps All Over Jesus At Easter Prayer Breakfast, Wingnuts Outraged…
  Semper Tea

Traitor Barack Obama Murders America Again, With A Cup

America: the last days
America is finally dead. Completely dead. Oh sure, you thought maybe it was dead before when the Kenyan socialist Muslim Nazi indoctrinated innocent schoolchildren by urging them to study hard, or when the feckless tyrant wimp dictator made Marines hold umbrellas, but this time our once-great nation is dead, dead, dead. Barack Obama held a Styrofoam cup full of tea while he came down the steps of Marine One Tuesday and (it pains us so much to write this that we can barely make out the keyboard through our tears) kept the cup in his hand while saluting his Marine guards. The final moment of America, a once-great nation, was even sent out on Instagram by the White House, just to gloat over the unspeakable crime: Read more on Traitor Barack Obama Murders America Again, With A Cup…
  motorin'...what's your price for flight?

Motorcade For Imperial High Snotnose Obama Arrogantly Delays Pregnant Lady, INPEACH!

He smiled, KNOWINGLY. Inpeach!!!
The Imperial President King of the Formerly United States, Barack Hussein Marie Antoinette Louis XVI Obama, arrogantly forced a pregnant woman to wait to cross the street to a hospital while his motorcade passed in Los Angeles Wednesday. Needless to say, the Wingnuttosphere was all over the story, because it’s just one more symptom of how THAT MAN thinks he is better than the rest of us. You can bet that the motorcade would have come to a screeching halt if the lady had “looked like Obama’s son.” Read more on Motorcade For Imperial High Snotnose Obama Arrogantly Delays Pregnant Lady, INPEACH!…
  it ain't a soup

INPEACH! Obama Chewed Gum At D-Day Ceremony, Wingnuts Outraged

We sure do miss our Newsmax feed, because we almost missed this important Poutrage Update: Barack Obama, the alleged Leader of the Free World, insulted the memory of all the hallowed dead of the Normandy Invasion on Friday when he was seen chewing gum during the commemorative ceremonies. Even worser, the walking nicotine-addicted shamebucket that is our putative President also insulted our British allies by openly masticating in public while applauding the arrival of Her Royal Highness Queen Elizabeth II. It is not known whether any corgis were also insulted in the incident. Read more on INPEACH! Obama Chewed Gum At D-Day Ceremony, Wingnuts Outraged…
  domo arigato

Stupidest Man On Internet Fears Obama’s True Loyalty Is To Mister Roboto

How is Barack Obama insulting America’s dignity today? Jim Hoft, the Stupidest Man on the Internet, reveals that the weak-willed absolute tyrant, whose spineless foreign policy encouraged the Russians to invade Ukraine even as he has dictatorially crammed health insurance down our throats, is now bowing not merely to foreign potentates, but even to foreign robots. Has this man no sense of dignity, no sense of what is just and proper? America bows to no one! Read more on Stupidest Man On Internet Fears Obama’s True Loyalty Is To Mister Roboto…
  inventing situations - putting them on t.v.

Supreme Emperor Barack Obama Demands Advance Copies Of ‘Game Of Thrones,’ ‘True Detective’

Oh, those high-living Obamas are up to their early-viewing tyranny again. In 2012 Michelle stoled all the Downton Abbeys, and now Barack Obama has muscled the CEO of HBO into giving him advance copies of the new season of Game of Thrones and the last three episodes of True Detective. Oh it is so very outrageous. So very, very outrageous. And, uh, arrogant, too, we guess. Frankly, we’re not even sure the Usual Wingnuts are even bothering to get upset over this. See, for instance, Taylor Bigler at Tucker Carlson’s House O’ Spleen, who seems to be parodying rightwing outrage more than actually trying to stir it up: Who exactly does President Barack HUSSEIN Obama think he is, anyway? The King of England? Obama tried to leverage his position as Commander in Chief to curry favor from HBO honcho Richard Plepler at the recent state dinner for the French president … If Obama did receive the episodes early — and he may have — he would have spent 16 hours in front of the television instead of focusing on governing our great nation. Yeah, that’s just trolling, isn’t it? She managed to get a “playing golf all day” in there, too. Beats us, but that all-caps HUSSEIN strikes us as the tip-off that we’re reading a parody here. (But Poe’s Law applies, as ever.) Well-played, Ms. Bigler! Read more on Supreme Emperor Barack Obama Demands Advance Copies Of ‘Game Of Thrones,’ ‘True Detective’…
  we're only making plans for nigel

UK Defense Minister Apologizes For Suggesting Wingnut Party Leader Enjoys Finger In His Bottom

Sometimes, this “civility” thing may be just a little overrated. Consider, for instance, the awesomely unconcerned-about-fee-fees response of Houston’s Gay Lady Mayor Annise Parker to the homophobic idiot Phil Robertson: “What some redneck wingnut has to say about the GLBT community is completely irrelevant.” And from “across the pond,” a phrase which here means “in jolly old Blighty,” there’s Anna Soubry, a Defence Minister responsible for veterans and soldiers’ welfare, who made some rather impolite comments about one Nigel Farage, the leader of the very, very rightwing UK Independence Party, a Libertarian fringe party that wants a flat tax, wants England out of the European Union, and doesn’t believe in climate change because weren’t you reading up to this point? So anyway, the controversy: On some “breakfast television” programme — in England, they call television “the lorry” — Soubry reacted to comedian Rory Bremner’s impersonation of Nigel Farage by saying: “I always think he looks like somebody has put their finger up his bottom and he really rather likes it’.” Needless to say, Mr. Farage was all kinds of butthurt, though he denied this was in the literal sense. He also thought that all you cheeky monkeys should stop looking at his bum. Read more on UK Defense Minister Apologizes For Suggesting Wingnut Party Leader Enjoys Finger In His Bottom…
  thanks for clarifying that

Gay Lady Houston Mayor Does Not Care One Bit About Duck Dynasty Dude

Can’t really argue with the opinion of Houston Mayor Annise Parker on this one. Asked for her thoughts on the whole Phil Robertson duck-tussle, Parker, the contentedly out lesbian mayor lady said: “I have never watched ‘Duck Dynasty,’ so I don’t think about it much at all,” Parker responded. “I’ve been a gay community activist since the mid-70s. It was a very different time. We were fighting to keep people out of jails and mental hospitals. What some redneck wingnut has to say about the GLBT community is completely irrelevant.” Needless to say, the Wingnuttosphere is Not Pleased. The nine fulltime employees of Twitchy were horrified, and even played the “It’s a good thing there’s nothing else pressing happening in Houston” card, because that’s always new and fresh. (Seriously, if you ever catch Yr Doktor Zoom pulling out that particular cliché, mock him relentlessly. He reserves the right to cling to other clichés, however) Read more on Gay Lady Houston Mayor Does Not Care One Bit About Duck Dynasty Dude…
  deductible dynasty

Barack Obama Signs Up For Obamacare, Arrogantly No Doubt

Barack Obama signed up for a purely-for-the-symbolism health insurance policy under the Affordable Care Act, earning some tut-tutting from the Blaze:”Look Who’s Reportedly Signing up for Obamacare on the Last Day Possible.” (The Blaze later added an update that explained that he had actually signed up over the weekend, but left the story largely intact, because hey, lazy President still waited til the last minute, just like some Wonkette blogger or something. Also, too, the White House allowed one extra day for people to finish signing up, because it has no respect for the Rule Of Law. Read more on Barack Obama Signs Up For Obamacare, Arrogantly No Doubt…
  not the way they want to see him hanging

Twitchy And Stupidest Man On Internet Perturbed By Obama’s Graven Image In London Embassy

Here’s today’s entry in the Obama’s America Is Just Like North Korea sweepstakes: Stupidest Man on the Internet Jim Hoft is disgusted by the decorating decisions that Barack Obama has personally made for the U.S. Embassy in London. Following up on a Twitchy story about a fairly bland tweet from the embassy, Hoft’s headline leaves no doubt of Obama’s maniacal self-aggrandizement: “CREEPY! Selfie President Inserts Himself Between Washington and Lincoln” Yep, that’s one scary image, there: a tapestry of the POTUS, hanging on a side wall of a meeting room in the Embassy. God, it’s like an altar or something!!! Cult of personality! Do the embassy officials have to sing a song of praise to The One every morning? Read more on Twitchy And Stupidest Man On Internet Perturbed By Obama’s Graven Image In London Embassy…
  they see me trollin'

Obama Touches Raul Castro’s Communist Fingers At Mandela Funeral, Wingnuts Outraged

Monstrous America-hating monster Barack Obama touched a communist today at the memorial service for Nelson Mandela, leading to fairly predictable speculation that the handshake with Cuban President Raul Castro was either evidence of warming relations between the two countries, or proof that Obama shares Mandela’s love for communism, terrorism, and hating Israel. Plus, maybe Obama bowed. Check the video! Was that a bow? Castro’s shorter, so yeah, definitely a bow! Did he whisper state secrets into the communist leader’s ear? INPEACH! Besides, everybody knows you are supposed to spit on people at state funerals and then kick them in the nuts. This Barack Hussein Obama has obviously never read Miss Manners. Read more on Obama Touches Raul Castro’s Communist Fingers At Mandela Funeral, Wingnuts Outraged…
  now he belongs to the rages

Who Are The Obamas Insulting By Attending Mandela’s Funeral?

You kind of figured this had to be on the way: Internet wingnuts are now complaining that by honoring the memory of Nelson Mandela, Barack Obama is retroactively insulting other people, conservatives especially. This is only logical. For instance, Dead Breitbart’s Home For Scabies-Afflicted Dingos has a lengthy piece about the horrible, horrible slur that this is to our Best Ally Ever, because the Preznit did not attend the funeral of Baroness Margaret Thatcher. Instead, the official delegation was headed by a couple of nobodies named James A. Baker and George Schultz, which was a slap in the face to the memory of the woman who Kept The Falklands Free. And how do we know this was an epic diss? Why, from the British tabloids that whined about it, of course. And also from the well-known fact that Barack Obama so hates colonialism that he hollowed out that bust of Churchill to use as a urinal. Read more on Who Are The Obamas Insulting By Attending Mandela’s Funeral?…
  our american nephew

Obama Did A Lie About Kenyans

Drudge Sirens Panic Where’s the birth sertifikate INNPEACH!!! It appears that B. Hussein Obama, the alleged “President of the United States,” lied through his teeth in 2011 when someone other than Barack Obama said that Barack Obama had never met his Kenyan uncle. Confused? Well then, become enlightened, via the Boston Globe: President Obama acknowledged on Thursday that he lived with his Kenyan uncle for a brief period in the 1980s while preparing to attend Harvard Law School, contradicting a statement more than a year ago that the White House had no record of the two ever meeting … On Thursday, a White House official said the press office had not fully researched the relationship between the president and his uncle before telling the Globe that they had no record of the two meeting. This time, the press office asked the president directly, which they had not done in 2011. Likely story. If they didn’t “fully research” it then, then how is it that Barack Obama remembers it NOW, when they directly asked him, hennggh? Why didn’t Barack Obama correct the record the minute he read the press office’s denial two years ago, which he had to have been aware of, because surely he keeps track of all White House press contacts? What kind of weird cover-up is going on here? Will we ever see Barack Obama’s college transcripts? Who is this man, anyway, and has anyone even thought about looking into his background a little bit? Where was Obama’s uncle the night of Benghazi? Read more on Obama Did A Lie About Kenyans…
  every flavor but pinkie

Obamas Have 9 Kinds Of Pie For Thanksgiving, Wingnuts Outraged

We guess Barack Obama must have mentioned God in his Thanksgiving proclamation this year, since we haven’t seen a million angry blog posts bitching about it. (And there it is — “we rise or fall as one Nation, under God” — a blatant attempt to make up for his Gettysburg libel, too.*) Thankfully, even if they can’t trot out the “war on religion” trope, wingnuts can still accuse the Obamas of being Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette, because as has been widely reported, the White House served nine types of pie at Thanksgiving this year — or as the Daily Mail headline put it, “NINE different types of pie.” This is of course the worst sort of hypocrisy, since 1) No other president has eaten well while some Americans were unemployed and 2) Michelle promotes healthy eating, but for a holiday dinner they didn’t eat only kale and rice cakes. Read more on Obamas Have 9 Kinds Of Pie For Thanksgiving, Wingnuts Outraged…
  not well-adapted to his environment

Ohio Nice Time! Creationist Science Teacher Stays Fired, Will Have To Lie To Kids On Own Time

So here is some good news for a change: the Ohio Supreme Court upheld the firing of former eighth-grad science teacher John Freshwater, who has become just the latest victim of the Constitution’s dumb insistence that teachers can’t proselytize to their students, even if they call it “critical thinking about evolution.” Now, to be completely, boringly accurate, the court actually didn’t even consider the question of whether Freshwater had illegally dragged religion into his teaching; the Ohio Supremes — which sounds like two great soul bands — simply upheld a lower court’s decision that the school was justified in firing him for refusing to remove religious materials from his classroom: “We recognize that this case is driven by a far more powerful debate over the teaching of creationism and intelligent design alongside evolution,” the court noted in its decision. “(But) here, we need not decide whether Freshwater acted with a permissible or impermissible intent because we hold that he was insubordinate, and his termination can be justified on that basis alone.” What? Teachers have to remove non-educational materials from their classrooms when school administrators tell them to, and it’s “insubordination” when they decide that they’d rather keep their Bibles and posters of GW Bush praying and other religious materials on display? The deuce you say! And to think, the court didn’t even get a chance to consider whether it also would have been OK to fire Freshwater for using a Tesla coil to burn a cross into a 13-year-old boy’s arm. In any case, even though it looks like the school had multiple reasons to fire Freshwater, it’s quite clear that he is a victim of persecution for his religion. Read more on Ohio Nice Time! Creationist Science Teacher Stays Fired, Will Have To Lie To Kids On Own Time…
  who needs a blacklist when we have rightwing blogs?

Guy Who Dissed The Troops Five Years Ago Writes About Something Else, Wingnuts Outraged

OMG you guise!!! There is a man out there in America who does not love The Troops! And he is still allowed to write things for a living! Even though The Troops have bled and died for his right to have written a blog post titled “Fuck the Troops” in 2008! And Politico just published an article by the guy, on a completely different topic — Murphy is also the guy who prank-called Scott Walker in 2011, pretending to be David Koch, which is what the article is about. Murphy’s Politico piece doesn’t even contain the word “fuck” at all, which is something of an achievement for anyone writing about that fucking fuckhead Scott Walker. And so the professional journalists at Dead Breitbart’s Shelter For The Terminally Enraged did a massively butthurt exposé of the terrible things that Ian Murphy wrote in 2008. Sure, they mention the piece Politico ran Monday, once, but mostly the Breitbart piece is a copypaste of the most button-pushing parts of Murphy’s “virulent anti-American soldier screed,” aimed at trashing Politico of course — Murphy has now been transmogrified into “Politico reporter Ian Murphy” or “Politico columnist Ian Murphy,” and by god, Politico or any other publication that runs anything else by Murphy is going to hear about this forever, because raining perpetual wrath upon the Unholy is pretty much these guys’ mission statement. Read more on Guy Who Dissed The Troops Five Years Ago Writes About Something Else, Wingnuts Outraged…
  'government for the people' sounds socialist too

Time Traveling Obama Made Lincoln Remove ‘Under God’ From First Draft Of Gettysburg Address, Also Didn’t Even Kill Hitler

Did you hear about the latest outrage perpetrated by Barack Hussein Obama? It’s bad enough that he’s insulted the memory of the Noble Dead of Gettysburg by not attending the 150th anniversary of Lincoln’s dedication of the cemetery there. (Headline if he had attended: “Imperial Hubris: Barack Obama tries to resurrect image by upstaging Lincoln commemoration.”) But now he’s gone and deliberately removed God from his snippet of the address! Dead Breitbart’s Home for Perpetual Fuming is just one of many wingnut outlets complaining about this deliberate slight to the Almighty in documentary filmmaker Ken Burns’ montage of news and political people reading the speech. After the butthurt from the usual crowd, Burns updated his website with a note saying “Did you know there are five versions of the Gettysburg Address? We asked President Obama to read the first, the Nicolay Version.” That draft, which is in the Library of Congress, didn’t include the words “under God” at the end of the speech. Or so the Gettysburg Foundation would have us believe! Read more on Time Traveling Obama Made Lincoln Remove ‘Under God’ From First Draft Of Gettysburg Address, Also Didn’t Even Kill Hitler…
  the anger games

Food Stamp Recipients Worried About Government Shutdown, Wingnuts Outraged

Aww, Twitchy: It’s so nice to know that you guys care! Under the headline “Looming government shutdown elicits concern among food stamp recipients” yesterday, the rightwing twitter aggregator noted that according to a USA Today explainer on the shutdown: the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP) has enough money to last one more year. That means the food stamp spigot will keep flowing for a long time regardless of what happens in Washington DC tonight. This, of course, was an excuse to present a number of tweets from greedy food stamp recipients who “have not gotten the message:” I better Still get my food stamps this month #shutdown Read more on Food Stamp Recipients Worried About Government Shutdown, Wingnuts Outraged…
  hunka hunka burnin' dumb

Wingnuts Just Terribly Offended That Anyone Might Link Wildfire Deaths With Global Warming

Funny thing about the political blogosphere: When politics blogs aren’t busy dissecting the political implications of literally every nuance of modern life (you know, like the pro-bestiality agenda of Skittles ads), they find it absolutely shocking that somebody else might find political implications in news events. Case in point: stories at any number of rightwing websites expressing disgust at “liberals on Twitter” who have “blamed ‘global warming'” (always in scare quotes, because there’s no such thing) for the terrible deaths of 19 firefighters. And let’s be completely clear here: Your Wonkette will not make any jokes about the Arizona firefighters’ deaths. Oh, but there’s plenty of japes to be made at the faux offense taken by sensitive darlings on the right. Our favorite, of course would have to be the display at Glenn Beck’s Home For Connected Malcontents, or The Blaze, because cheap irony. In addition to a sampling of outrageous sentiments like “#climatechange is a killer,” the article also notes that all sorts of wild-eyed liberals, like science blogger Phil Plait, have made a completely unreasonable connection between global warming and the hot, dry temperatures that exacerbate wildfires in general, like those also plaguing Colorado. This is just silly extremism, say the same blogs that trumpet heavy snowfalls in the winter as conclusive proof that global warming is a lie. Read more on Wingnuts Just Terribly Offended That Anyone Might Link Wildfire Deaths With Global Warming…
  urine big trouble young lady

Wingnuts Outraged: HBO Lady Lena Dunham Pees All Over Memorial Day

Say, would you believe that conservative blogonauts found something to spend Memorial Day DEEPLY OFFENDEDED over? Yes, we know, what are the odds? The shocking contretemps involved Lena Dunham, that terrible awful young lady who made an innuendo-laden video that compared voting to sexytime romps with a black man. We don’t know much about Ms. Dunham, but Yr Editrix is a fan. Now it seems that Ms. Dunham has gotten herself into one of those wacky scrapes you’d expect from the “Carrie Tyler Moore” character on that Girls Gossiping in the City show of hers, only instead of an embarrassing hipster faux pas involving whatever the hell constitutes a faux pas among hipsters, she committed High Treason by Twitter, sending out a message that quite literally announced her hatred for the troops, the flag, the Constitution, and All that is Good and Holy. We hope you are sitting down, because we will now reveal the contents of her perfidious tweet. It read in full, “Happy Memorial Day! I’ve already peed in two different Starbucks bathrooms!” WTF? TMI?  No, wait, Egad! Did that whore just trivialize Memorial Day? Quick! To the Outrage Signal! Read more on Wingnuts Outraged: HBO Lady Lena Dunham Pees All Over Memorial Day…
  Two Hours! That's Long Enough To See A Movie!

Wingnuts Furious: Obama Tweeted About Roger Ebert’s Death More Quickly Than About Margaret Thatcher’s

Hey, guys, did you hear about how the Kenyan Usurper is pissing on the not-yet-dug grave of Margaret Thatcher? Thanks to the completely sane coverage at the “Christian” “News” “Service,” we know that the Chicago thug tweeted a brief message in response to the death of fellow Chicago thug Roger Ebert within 30 minutes of the news of Ebert’s death, while it took an unpardonable two hours for the White House to issue a statement in response to the death of Margaret Thatcher. Even worse, the White House Twitter feed did not link to the emailed statement until 40 minutes after the statement was released, precious minutes during which the Delta Force could have saved American lives. But Barack Obama stood idly by, doing nothing. INPEACH! Read more on Wingnuts Furious: Obama Tweeted About Roger Ebert’s Death More Quickly Than About Margaret Thatcher’s…
  Sheeple Awakened By Dog Whistles

Wingnuts Outraged: Infiltrators Keep Making GOP Look Super Racist For No Reason At All

As we all know, there are no racists in the Republican party, because Martin Luther King was a Republican and Robert Byrd was at one time in the Klan, and also nothing changed in either party after the passage of the Civil Right Act of 1964 and the Voting Right Acts of 1965. Nevertheless, there is still a perception out there that some Republicans are occasionally just a teensy bit racist for some reason. This is actually due entirely to hyper-sensitive PC Liberals having hissy fits over nothing, and is mostly the result of libruls infiltrating Republican events to display racist messages. Read more on Wingnuts Outraged: Infiltrators Keep Making GOP Look Super Racist For No Reason At All…