Tag Archives: wingnuts

  Aggravated Doing Unto Others

Christian End Times Family Band Gunfighting With Cops For The Lord

C'mon Get Raptured!
Several members of a Christian family band from Boise, Idaho, got into a brawl and gunfight with police in a Walmart parking lot in Cottonwood, Arizona, on Saturday night, leaving one member of the family dead and the rest in police custody. The group, which called itself “Matthew 24 Now” (GET IT???*) looked forward to the coming End Times, and apparently felt the need to hurry up the schedule a little when they attacked police and fired on them. Maybe they just loved the smell of cordite in the evening. Read more on Christian End Times Family Band Gunfighting With Cops For The Lord…
  Remember The Alahomo

Gay-Hatin’ Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore Ready To Be Martyred At The Straight-People Alamo

Yes, this really exists
Ten Commandments Hero Chief Justice Roy Moore came from Alabama with a Brawndo on his knee t’other day, visiting the Lone Star State Monday to address a very important “Defense of Texas Marriage Amendment Rally,” where he said that he is willing to lay down his very life to stop people with the wrong combinations of genitals from entering into marriage contracts. Also, he is worried about all the hyperbole and exaggeration in the world today. Read more on Gay-Hatin’ Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore Ready To Be Martyred At The Straight-People Alamo…
  Won't Someone PLEASE Think of George Zimmerman?

George Zimmerman: God Made Me Do It

Screengrabs are fair use, right? Yeah, pretty sure they are. We can always add a pony so it's parody.
Now that the Justice Department has declared George Zimmerman a swell human being who merely shot and killed Trayvon Martin but didn’t violate his civil rights, Mr. Zimmerman sat down for a spontaneous, not-at-all scripted-sounding interview with his divorce lawyer, Howard Iken, who apparently doesn’t just do divorces, but is also branching out into journalism. Watch out, Terry Gross, Howard Iken is gunning for your time slot! We’d embed the video, but that is Not Allowed; you can view the whole abomination here. Read more on George Zimmerman: God Made Me Do It…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Week: Why Are We Being Anti-Semitic To Sarah Palin?

Scootaloo is neither a gun owner nor Jewish, as far as we know. She worships Rainbow Dash
The Deleted Comments Hopper was extra-full this week, largely because we hit on a convergence of topics in one post: we wrote about the Palin family and guns at the same time, and that combination summoned the angerbears from the depths. Also, we suggested that not all American Jews agree with Congressschmuck Steve King, who carries so much water for AIPAC that he has calves the size of challas, and that brought us some real winners too. Heck, we don’t even have room to mention the anti-vaxxer who said that criticizing paranoia about vaccines is the “type of attitude is what forced people into internment camps and concentration camps,” which is really too bad, because we wish we could have mentioned that. Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Week: Why Are We Being Anti-Semitic To Sarah Palin?…
  Nepotism Is A Family Value

Arizona Wingnut Senator Not Big On Worker Rights Except Maybe For Her Son-In-Law’s

Syvlia llen at a 'Nullify Now!' event in Phoenix
Arizona state Senator Sylvia Allen is a wingnut’s wingnut who likes guns and state militias and “constitutional conservative” sheriffs like Richard Mack, the guy who wanted women and children up front at the Bundy Ranch in case shooting started. In 2009, she supported uranium mining in Arizona because uranium and people and animals have all been together for the entire 6,000 years of the Earth’s existence, and God never saw fit to require regulations on uranium in the Garden of Eden. Read more on Arizona Wingnut Senator Not Big On Worker Rights Except Maybe For Her Son-In-Law’s…
  Superior Aryan Intellect Strikes Again

White Power Ranger Is Saddest Wannabe ‘Obama Assassin’ Ever

He figures looking off to the side worked for Michele Bachmann
Some days, it feels like you can’t trust anyone. Just ask Aryan chinbeard warrior Cameron Stout, pictured above, who earned himself a nice set of federal charges Tuesday after sharing his desire to shoot Barack Obama with a newfound friend who just happened to be a federal informant. Who also happened to be a former member of the Aryan Nations, now working with the feds, according to an affidavit in the case: Read more on White Power Ranger Is Saddest Wannabe ‘Obama Assassin’ Ever…
  Shiva Maniac Maniac On the Floor

Idaho Legislator Will Never Apologize, Never Surrender, For Explaining Hindu Gods Are Fake

We know who we like better
Left: Sheryl Nuxoll, Member, Idaho Senate (R-Cottonwood); Right: Ganesha, Hindu god of beginnings, wisdom (Party affiliation unknown) A couple weeks ago, there was quite the to-do in the Idaho Legislature when three state senators walked out on an invocation given by a Hindu clergyman (initial reports put the number at seven, but, it turns out three were just plain late showing up, while a fourth was also late, but was “disappointed” when he learned the prayer wasn’t Christian). Since then, one of the three, state Sen. Sheryl Nuxoll, has continued to make waves on the JesusWeb for comments she made following the walkout, calling Hinduism a “false faith with false gods” and refusing to apologize. Nuxoll’s brave resistance to the wave of Hinduism that’s apparently taking over the Gem State even drew notice from the American Family Association, which carried a story about her on its OneNewsNow site Monday: Read more on Idaho Legislator Will Never Apologize, Never Surrender, For Explaining Hindu Gods Are Fake…
  Just hope the plane doesn't go down while you're going down

Spirit Airlines Will 69 You In The Sky, Wingnut Outrage To Commence Shortly

Mile High Club
The budget carrier Spirit Airlines is having a celebration, and they want YOU to come 69 the friendly skies with them, doesn’t that sound like a hot thing you want to cross of your bucket list? They are doing this because they have recently added a sixty-ninth airplane to their fleet, and if their website is any indication, the folks at Spirit have been boning up for this new addition to their family for quite a while now: Read more on Spirit Airlines Will 69 You In The Sky, Wingnut Outrage To Commence Shortly…
  They're so nice they didn't even add "OR DEATH?"

Nice Texas Democrats Give Delicious Gay Love Cakes To Bigot Republicans

Try it, we promise it won't make you gay. Much.
Texan bigots are just NOT OKAY with all these homosexuals comin’ all up into Texas and destroying opposite marriage for everybody. Know who IS okay with the gays destroying everything? Texas Democrats, that is who! They decided this week to deliver gay love cakes to a select group of the worst gay-hatin’ Texas Republicans of all: Read more on Nice Texas Democrats Give Delicious Gay Love Cakes To Bigot Republicans…
  Standing athwart Texas's Virgin throat and crying "STOP!"

Texas Rep Lady Ain’t About To Let No Full-Of-Itself ‘Supreme Court’ Gay Marry Texas

Try to get yer gay marriage past this, motherfucker, PEW PEW PEW!
If Texas state Rep. Molly White gets her way, newly minted Texas GOP chair Tom Mechler won’t have to worry about homos kissin’ in the newspaper or any of that other gay stuff, for Molly has A Solution, and as you see above, she’s got a gun. As David Badash at the New Civil Rights Movement reports, Molly is still in her second month of even BEING a Big Girl State Representative, but she has already Solved Texas. For one thing, she’s come up with a bill that says even if the United States Supreme Court gifts gay marriage to a hungry nation, Texas need not comply, because Texas. Read more on Texas Rep Lady Ain’t About To Let No Full-Of-Itself ‘Supreme Court’ Gay Marry Texas…
  Madison Heights MI Safe From Tyranny -- For Now

‘You Work for ME!’ Open Carry Loon Yells At Police, Exercising Right To Be Tedious A**hole

Public servants serving the public
Via Moms Demand Action comes this proud Open Carry activist “Nunya Beeswax,” who posted a FOUR-PART YouTube video documenting a recent Open Carry walk that Mr. Beeswax took around his Michigan neighborhood. He is the very model of a free man who knows his rights, which include the Right to Bear Arms, the Right to Free Speech, the Right to Bear Arms while Speaking Freely, and the Right To Be An Insufferable Prick Toward Police Officers Because He Is A Free Man And They Are Jackbooted Thugs who are supposed to work for WE THE PEOPLE. Read more on ‘You Work for ME!’ Open Carry Loon Yells At Police, Exercising Right To Be Tedious A**hole…
  writ of mandumbass

Alabama Supreme Court Gonna Halt All Them Homosexual ‘Marriages,’ By God

Apparently Chief Justice Roy Moore and his ‘Bama Supreme Court judge pals, all of whom are clear examples of why judges should not be elected, and all of whom should be fired, would prefer that the United States Supreme Court have to stick its foot ALL THE WAY up their asses on the marriage issue, none of this “just the tip” stuff anymore, that’s not at all what they like. Why? The Alabama Supremes decided Tuesday night to issue a writ of mandumbass mandamus, a complicated legal-like term, which ordered Alabama’s probate judges to stop issuing marriage licenses to gay couples entirely, at least for the time being. Why? Because they found a few little loopholes that will not at all be relevant when SCOTUS finishes them off in June: Read more on Alabama Supreme Court Gonna Halt All Them Homosexual ‘Marriages,’ By God…
  Homo-nazis will have to destroy North Carolina later too busy trying to find a place to pee

Performance Artist Flip Benham Solves Transgender Bathrooms Problem By Yelling ‘Pervert!’ At It

Last night, the Southern town of Charlotte, North Carolina, did a real big stupid, failing to pass an anti-discrimination ordinance that would add LGBT people to the list of protected groups. Wingnut opponents of the ordinance, of course, were most worried about the possibility that somewhere, somehow, a transgender person might be out there responding to the call of nature, and not even ashamed of themselves for it. This is an outrage, because how dare they, despite what you have heard in children’s books, NOT EVERYBODY POOPS, especially not transgender people! Read more on Performance Artist Flip Benham Solves Transgender Bathrooms Problem By Yelling ‘Pervert!’ At It…
  This Is Idaho Not Kali

Idaho Legislator Has A Cow About Hindu Invocation In State Senate

Vishnu? Not much. Vishnu with you?
Idaho state Sen. Steve Vick is all in favor of the First Amendment and freedom and stuff, but that doesn’t mean he has to sit and put up with it when a Hindu cleric gives the invocation at today’s session of the state Senate, which is why he plans on walking out on the pagan voodoo nonsense. Why yes, he is from the same northern Idaho county whose local Republican party floated a proposal to declare Idaho a Christian state last week. Why do you ask? Read more on Idaho Legislator Has A Cow About Hindu Invocation In State Senate…
  All the Nooses That Fit

Tea Party Lady Just Wants To String Up Blacks Who Skip Netanyahu’s Big Speech

Is everybody amped for Bibi’s Big Bloviation today? Tea Party “radio” host and WorldNetDaily contributor Andrea Shea King sure is. She happens to know exactly how important it is for all members of Congress to attend Netanyahu’s speech, in fact: She’s determined that anyone who doesn’t attend is actually guilty of treason, and should be executed. We’re not sure whether she thinks that would be treason to the United States or Israel, but it’s definitely a hangin’ offense, especially for members of the Congressional Black Caucus, because apparently they’re the worst of the anti-Israel racists, what with looking like Obama and all. Read more on Tea Party Lady Just Wants To String Up Blacks Who Skip Netanyahu’s Big Speech…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Week: We Are Illiterate Illegal Parasites In Prison. Science Fact!

Haha, 'COORS'
Since Disqus has brought us a bunch of new commenters (Hi! Welcome To The Monkeyhouse! Play nice!), we’d just like to ‘splain why we moderate comments in the first place, instead of allowing unfettered Free Speach: It’s because we are big believers in the First Amendment, which gives us the right to run our little mommyblog/recipe hub/Pony appreciation society however the hell we want to. It’s our parlor, and if we choose not to invite someone in because they’re intent on muddying up the carpet and shitting on the credenza, or even if we don’t like their Gadsden Flag t-shirt, that’s our business. Don’t like it? Do some Free Enterprise and offer the Editrix an obscene amount of money to buy the site so you can change how things work. (We hear she’ll only sell if the staff get some pretty impressive golden parachutes.) Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Week: We Are Illiterate Illegal Parasites In Prison. Science Fact!…
  Error 404 Truthiness Not Found

FCC Approves Obama’s Secret Plan To Keep Internet Pretty Much The Same

I'm sorry, Dave, I see Google is your default search engine. Have you considered Bing? You really should consider Bing, Dave. Do you want me to switch you to Bing?
The Federal Communications Commission voted to uphold Net Neutrality today, guaranteeing either that Internet Service Providers can’t charge content providers different rates to transmit their data, or possibly that Freedom is Dead Forever, again. House Speaker John Boehner didn’t exaggerate the seriousness of the vote a single bit: Read more on FCC Approves Obama’s Secret Plan To Keep Internet Pretty Much The Same…
  He Won't Be Lured Into Taking AP History

Wingnuts Fall In Viral Love With 12-Year-Old Who Knows Obama Hates America

He seems nice
Meet fresh new viral sensation CJ Pearson, a Georgia middle-schooler who is all over the Wingnuttosphere this week because he has the courage to say that Rudy Giuliani is absolutely right: Barack Obama does not love America. Unlike the former New York mayor, CJ — if he’s not going to use periods between his initials on his YouTube page, then neither will we — doesn’t get into any of Giuliani’s arcane stuff about how Obama was “raised differently from you and me,” possibly because CJ wasn’t raised by a low-level Mob enforcer. Read more on Wingnuts Fall In Viral Love With 12-Year-Old Who Knows Obama Hates America…
  This does NOT mean wingnuts are just like ISIS

ISIS And American Red States Agree: People Aren’t Descended From Some Damn Monkey!

Ha ha ha, sometimes there are Serious News Headlines that just make a person fall into fits of LOL-giggles, and Talking Points Memo has served one up! We were just clicking through our Facebook, or maybe our news reader, we cannot remember, we were drinking, and saw the news that “ISIS Bans Teaching Evolution In Schools.” Extremist terrorist Muslims and wingnut Christians, they are just like us each other! Read more on ISIS And American Red States Agree: People Aren’t Descended From Some Damn Monkey!…