Tag Archives: wingnut olympics

  we won't play sun city

Arizona Senate: ‘Energy Efficiency’ Is UN Plot For One-World-Order

Move over, Tennessee. Not only did Arizona get the same crazy John Birch email forward you did, but theirs has actually passed the Senate, a House committee, and (fingers crossed!) is ready to be heard by the whole Arizona House! To recap, for those who unaccountably missed this exact same goddamn story in Tennessee: Twenty years ago, under George H.W. Bush, the US signed onto a nice UN sustainability plan called the Rio Declaration on Environment and Development, or Agenda 21. Here is where Arizona differs from Tennessee: they have not said (to our knowledge) that Agenda 21 causes forced abortions. Here is where it is the same: they want to defund any programs for clean energy or energy efficiency, because “blackhelicoptersUNplotMicheleBachmanncrazeyesSatan.” Read more on Arizona Senate: ‘Energy Efficiency’ Is UN Plot For One-World-Order…
  suck it sam seder

Morning Invocation at Georgia Statehouse Denounces Gays, Liberals, ‘Urbans’

Isn’t that funny, the Wonkette tipline today contains two (2) examples of preachers getting all jiggy in their supposedly neutral morning prayers at various statehouses. Hey Kansas, ‘sup? Heard you suck, but only Georgia sent video. First, this very gentle and mellow man, Rev. Tony Byrd of Zebulon Baptist Church in Toccoa, who appeared at the invitation of Rep. Michael Harden, talks about an atheist radio host (Marc Maron? Sam Seder?) and how America is a Christian nation for about 127 minutes; then the eye of God on the dollar bill; then urban warzones; then gay marriers and their un-Godly agenda; then ???; and finally, PROFIT! Nowhere does he actually seem to pray. OH WAIT! He does. For the last 45 seconds of his 11-minute invocation. Read more on Morning Invocation at Georgia Statehouse Denounces Gays, Liberals, ‘Urbans’…
  you know I love you baby you just make me so mad

Wisconsin State Rep: Abused Wives Should Remember What They Loved About Their Husbands in the First Place

Oh, Wisconsin, baby, what happened to us? Don’t you remember when it used to be so sweet? It was Laverne & Shirley, and Donna Shalala at Madison, and … hell, sweetheart, why can’t I remember any more? It’s a whole lifetime ago, it seems like. It’s like I don’t even know you. And now there’s this Don Pridemore guy, cosponsoring the Single Mothers Are the Real Abusers bill and just moving right in like he owns the place. What does he give you that we didn’t, besides going on record as being against divorce even in the case of an abusive spouse? “There’s been a huge change over the last 30 years, and a lot of that change has been the choice of the women,” he said. “If they can refind those reasons and get back to why they got married in the first place it might help.” Read more on Wisconsin State Rep: Abused Wives Should Remember What They Loved About Their Husbands in the First Place…
  gimme some of that old-time religion

New Hanover County, NC, Wants a Piece of That Popular ‘Womyn Are Slutty’ Act

Good morning, New Hanover County, North Carolina! How’s things? Oh you got a $9,000 grant for womyn’s health, no strings (or matching funds) attached? HOW NICE FOR YOU! That must come in handy these days, with the budget situations everywhere and all! My, isn’t it great when government comes through! Oh, but you do not want the grant, because women are irresponsible whores? Oh. Read more on New Hanover County, NC, Wants a Piece of That Popular ‘Womyn Are Slutty’ Act…
  pry this job from my cold dead hands

Missouri House Backs Making Gun Nuts Protected Class

Missouri state Rep. Wanda Brown has had it up to here with the suspicion, the bigotry, the gol-dang prejudice against a certain class of Murkins who know from the pain of intolerance and hatred, and Rep. Wanda Brown did not just sit there! She did something about it! Which poor beleaguered folk have felt the sweet veiny warmth of Brown’s bony embrace? Is it a class of people who have been discriminated against in any way whatsoever, in History? No, it is Gun Owners, for Jesus. Read more on Missouri House Backs Making Gun Nuts Protected Class…
  oh you wanted a baby with a head?

AZ Senate: Doctors Can Withhold Info That Might Make Ladies Opt For Abortion

Were you aware that the United Nations declared yesterday some sort of “International Lilith Fair/Diva Cup Festival?” We only realized this when we popped over to the Abortionplex for coffee and a quick D&C and it was closed! Bummer. Oh, well, at least we don’t have it as bad as Arizona where, oh why the hell not, legislators are moving to make expectant parenthood a fun and exciting game of Russian roulette! Read more on AZ Senate: Doctors Can Withhold Info That Might Make Ladies Opt For Abortion…
  bunch of bachmanns

Georgia Lege Goes For Gold In Wingnut Olympics

Crossover Day! Crossover Day! A day when every possible batshit mean curbjob-the-welfare-Cadillac-Queens bill simply MUST get passed in order to avoid NOobAma’s death panels. What delights does Newtonia have in store for us, as it gets all slick and sweaty trying to catch up to your Floridas and Mississippis and good ol’ AZ’s? Let’s round them up and hoe them down! Piss-testing those on gubmint relief? Check. Banning union pickets in labor disputes (except for teachers and cops) — d/b/a your First Amendment right to assembly? But naturally. Letting the little Hitlers* of your neighborhood homeowners association ban yer dirty hippie solar panels? FUCK YEAH, COMMIE, GET OUT. Turning into hysterical ninnies about that other part of the First Amendment, religious liberty, as defined by the Founders’ Stated Intent of putting all the single ladiez under Sharia? What do you think? Read more on Georgia Lege Goes For Gold In Wingnut Olympics…