Tag: willow palin

Sarah Palin Spills Boone’s Farm In Rage Over Lyin’ Hillary’s Email Tyranny

Guys, we don't think Sarah Palin is real happy with the FBI's decision not to recommend indictment for Hillary.

Wonkette Writes Wingnut Letters To President Obama, About How He Is A Idiot

President Obama did a big interview with the "Extra" teevee program, and told correspondent Jerry Penacoli that he responds to ALL the letters his people bring him, even when it's just wingnuts writing in to say, "You Are A Idiot." The...
Bristol is definitely not pregnant in this picture

Bristol Palin Living In Sin For Third Or Eighteenth Time, For Abstinence

We had nothing but Molotovs when we heard Bristol Palin had betrothed herself to Medal of Honor soldierman Dakota Meyer. We love love! And my God, after watching (parts of) her truly fucking terrible reality show, we genuinely wished for...
She's all out of makeup, frankly.

2014: The Year Bristol Palin And Her Mom, Ol’ Whatsername, Made All Our Dreams Come True

There's this lady, Sarah Palin, you wouldn't know her. She flitted through the public consciousness for a hot minute in 2008, and then was never heard from again. Haha, spoiler alert, yes she was. We're sorry. But aside from...
Turn that poo-face upside down, Sarah.

The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report: Home-Cooked, Hand-Clubbed Fish Dinner

Touch of context for those who are new to this series: a Wonkette commenter named Fartknocker ponied up the cash for us to get a subscription to Sarah Palin's Internet Teevee Channel. The aim of this series is to...
Details still trickling in

Palin Rumble Update: Palins Didn’t Start The Fight, They Just Finished It

More details continue to emerge regarding the Great Big Palin Brawl of '14. We aren't going to go into all the various he-said/she-said/she-screeched-like-a-demented-hellbeast scenarios, but the basics are that a whole bunch of Palins got into a punching match...

What To Wear To Your Late Summer Brawl: The Palin Family’s Fashion Do’s!

Late summer. The perfect time to crash a birthday party, punch the host in the face multiple times, and shriek obscenities at all and sundry. But WHAT TO WEAR? If you are Sarah Palin, the answer is "platform shoes...

Congratulations On Your Entrepreneuring, Willow Palin!

WILLOW PALIN GRADUATES! WILLOW PALIN GRADUATES! Etc. Good job, Wills, we are happy at ya for graduating from what your sainted mother describes as a "hair and skin academy," where you went on foreign exchanges (to Juarez we are...

World’s Best Mom Bristol Palin In Giggle Fit While Angel Baby Tripp Calls Her Homosexual Slur: UPDATED!

What could it be? What homosexual slur did perfect angel Tripp call his mama on the latest episode of "Bristol Palin: Life's A Tripp," which goddamnit we again forgot to watch? UPDATED BELOW! "Faggot." He called her a "faggot." And...

‘What’s The Matter With Willow?’ And Other Questions Inspired By Last Night’s ‘Bristol Palin: Life’s A Tripp’

Apparently last week or the week before, which we did not watch, in fact we might have skipped like five weeks whoops, Bristol was defeated by Los Angeles and headed home after like a week and a half, because...

Sarah Palin Calls Kathy Griffin a ‘Half-Been Comedian’ For Some Reason

Sure, Sarah Palin would love to take this opportunity to feel victimized and relevant! Thanks for asking! (What a half-been.) We're not sure how acting in a fictional teevee show depicting the origins of worldly musical group Rockapella equals...

Willow Palin Buys Drugs In Target Parking Lot

Important political magazine Life & Style (is this that Tina Brown/Newsweek thing?) just sent us a very important news update on Willow Palin, the hot teen sensation of Discovery Channel's new travel video, White Trash On Drugz. According to...

Obama Is On a Manic Medal-Awarding Spree

Greetings, skankarellas and skankarinos! What did you do this week? Award the Medal of Honor to a very handsome young man in uniform? Announce the recipients of the 2011 Medal of Presidential Freedom? Did you give a fucking medal...

National Enquirer: Willow Palin Had a ‘PREGNANCY SHOCKER’

Is Willow Palin about to have a baby? The National Enquirer says she recently "missed her period" (gah, your editor quits, again) and took a pregnancy test. Can we trust the Enquirer? How exactly do they keep track of...

GOProud Comes To Defense of Willow Palin, Says That Gay Slur Isn’t So Bad

News agency TMZ with more on Willow's nationally important Facebook: A gay, conservative, tea-party heavy group thinks it's stupid to label Sarah Palin's daughter or family "homophobes" ... just because Willow Palin called a guy a fa**ot on Facebook. Haha, "gay,...

Willow, Bristol Palin Call Fellows ‘Fat,’ Use Gay Slur On Facebook

Politics news: Willow and Bristol Palin are teenagers from podunk Alaska and are not brilliant honors students. So they are on The Facebook, where they are easily led into angry Facebook "flame wars" when people say their mother's horrible...