willow palin

WILLOW PALIN GRADUATES! WILLOW PALIN GRADUATES! Etc. Good job, Wills, we are happy at ya for graduating from what your sainted mother describes as a “hair and skin academy,” where you went on foreign exchanges (to Juarez we are guessing?) and visited “the sets of major media productions” (like Dancing With the Stars?) and did […]

What could it be? What homosexual slur did perfect angel Tripp call his mama on the latest episode of “Bristol Palin: Life’s A Tripp,” which goddamnit we again forgot to watch? UPDATED BELOW!

Apparently last week or the week before, which we did not watch, in fact we might have skipped like five weeks whoops, Bristol was defeated by Los Angeles and headed home after like a week and a half, because “homosexuals.” Now she is back with her absolutely hamburger-brained boyfriend, Gino, whom she was so keen […]

Sure, Sarah Palin would love to take this opportunity to feel victimized and relevant! Thanks for asking! (What a half-been.)

Important political magazine Life & Style (is this that Tina Brown/Newsweek thing?) just sent us a very important news update on Willow Palin, the hot teen sensation of Discovery Channel’s new travel video, White Trash On Drugz. According to unimpeachable sources (other white trash kids in Wasilla), Willow is such a piece of trash. Plus […]

Greetings, skankarellas and skankarinos! What did you do this week? Award the Medal of Honor to a very handsome young man in uniform? Announce the recipients of the 2011 Medal of Presidential Freedom? Did you give a fucking medal to anybody, you worthless sack of European rabbit excrement? No, of course not, because you are […]

Is Willow Palin about to have a baby? The National Enquirer says she recently “missed her period” (gah, your editor quits, again) and took a pregnancy test. Can we trust the Enquirer? How exactly do they keep track of this sixteen-year-old’s ovulation cycle? Sure, we could trust them if they said John Edwards got her […]

News agency TMZ with more on Willow’s nationally important Facebook: A gay, conservative, tea-party heavy group thinks it’s stupid to label Sarah Palin’s daughter or family “homophobes” … just because Willow Palin called a guy a fa**ot on Facebook. Haha, “gay, conservative, tea-party heavy group”? Aren’t they all? Also, what is this mysterious “fa**ot” word? […]

Politics news: Willow and Bristol Palin are teenagers from podunk Alaska and are not brilliant honors students. So they are on The Facebook, where they are easily led into angry Facebook “flame wars” when people say their mother’s horrible teevee show is horrible. So, surprise! Willow uses gay slurs and calls people “fat” and uses […]

Yes, even this dog hates Sarah Palin’s Alaska, a terrible reality show (also known as “a reality show”) that premiered last night on The Learning Channel, a channel for the willfully ignorant. Why do pets hate this show? Well, for the usual reasons someone would dislike Sarah Palin, probably. But even this, her own show, […]

Christ, it’s not like there’s any election going on, when this public celebrity nonsense sometimes can matter, for a few hours, but here we are finally getting all intrigued-like over some snit on Todd & Sarah Palin’s Facebook page about a baseball sex joke David Letterman made on television one night. What’s going on now. […]

How many daughters does Sarah Palin have? Like fourteen? Well, David Letterman made a CRUDE REMARK about one of them, apparently intending to refer to the oldest one ( “Bridgeport”) but inadvertently referring to the middle one ( “Jester”). And voila just like that a harmless “gals is always gettin’ pregnant” joke turned into a […]

Everybody is very ANGRY with Sarah Palin for spending tens of thousands of hard-working Alaskans’ tax dollars flying her daughters to various conferences and putting them up at the Ritz and then saying they were there on “official duty” to cut ribbons and stuff. And yes, this is pretty fucking lame, particularly given that there […]