Wonkette

* Democrats bring their families and boisterous energy to the Capitol as Nancy Pelosi cracks the “marble ceiling” with the swearing in of the 110th Congress. [WP, WP, NYT]
* Jim Webb tolerates Dick Cheney long enough to formally become a Senator. [WP]
* “White House scrambles to complete its new war policy package in time for the president to unveil it in a speech to the nation next week.” [WP, NYT, WSJ, USAT]
* Sweet, sweet Rick Santorum abandons Senate “Candy Desk.” [WSJ]
* Harriet Miers gets out before the investigations begin. [WP, NYT]
* Civil liberties groups have panties in a bunch over warrantless mail opening provision. [WP, NYT]
* Joe Biden still supports the terrorists, still hates America. [WP]
* William “Renton” Rehnquist spent most of 1981 having drug-induced paranoid freakouts. [WP, NYT]
* DC voting rights legislation will be addressed after the 100 hours, so basically it’s back to never. [WP]

His drug of choice: Placidyl, a “highly toxic” painkiller not meant to be prescribed for long periods of time. Like, say, 1970 through 1981, the amount of time the late Supreme Court Chief Justice spent popping it. Things got a little hairy for Rehnquist, as they did for all the other drug fiends, come the dark days of Reagan: MORE »

* Chris Matthews to judge this year’s Miss America pageant with AC Slater and a bunch of honky tonk b-listers. [Broadcasting & Cable]
* William Rehnquist spent his days in an OxyContin haze, just like you. [Above The Law]
* “If she goes out, she goes down” to join such classics as “if she smokes, she pokes” and “if she says ‘fuck,’ she fucks.” [Feministing]
* HUD Secretary Alphonso “Double Stuff” Jackson, shows off his impressive boot-strap pulling workout regimen. [Dean's World]
* A portrait of Bill O’Reilly that Stephen Colbert gave Harvard found to be suspiciously sticky. [The Crimson]
* Nouri al-Maliki wants to take his ball and go home. [Political Animal]
* Curt Weldon to use ill-gotten gains to pay fine on ill-gotten golf trip. [Roll Call]

Rumor has it that Justice John Paul Stevens, the senior member of the Supreme Court’s liberal wing, may call it quits when the current court term ends in June. Sources say he’s fed up with being in a powerless liberal minority — and recently expressed that frustration in some pretty colorful language for a Supreme Court justice: “I can’t put up with this shit anymore!” MORE »

• Reliable Source: William Rehnquist’s home is on the market. . . Air America host Mike Malloy declines invite to Conservative Political Action Conference because of he believes the “conference participants represent what we fought against in WWII.” [WP]
• Inside the Beltway: Newt Gingrich will “consider” running for president in ‘08. [WT]
• Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: Rush Limbaugh and Daryn Kagan might be “on the rocks”. . . Jeff Gerth and Don Van Natta Jr. get million-dollar deal for book on Sen. Hillary Clinton. [NYDN]

• After successfully shifting its rhetorical strategy on Iraq, the Bush administration rethinks its plans for the second term; Dan Bartlett and Nicolle Wallace pressed for Bush to admit mistakes. Former Rep. Vin Weber (R-Minn.): “I don’t think they realized that Iraq is the totality of their legacy until fairly recently. There is not much of a market for other issues.” Grover Norquist: “The lesson from this year is you cannot do anything dramatic unless you have 60 votes.” [WP]
• Jack Abramoff, “an ingenious dealmaker who hatched interlocking schemes that exploited the machinery of government and trampled the norms of doing business in Washington,” is at the center of “what could become the biggest congressional corruption scandal in generations.” Former Rep. Mickey Edwards (R-Okla.): “This is at a scale that is really shocking. There is a certain kind of arrogance that in the past you might not have had. They were so supremely confident that there didn’t seem to be any kind of moral compass here.” [WP]
• Department of Homeland Security is crippled by mismanagement and financial problems, audit finds. Inspector general’s report: “The circumstances created by Hurricanes Katrina and Rita provide an unprecedented opportunity for fraud, waste and abuse.” [WP]
• Officials deny that secret radiation detection specifically targeted Muslims. [WP]
• Iraqi election results are called “credible and good” by top official at the United Nations. [WP, NYT]
• Bush’s “authority to conduct the war on terrorism as he sees fit” is at the core of the debate over eavesdropping and the Patriot Act. [USAT]
• The relationship of Bush and Cheney is “closer than it has ever been,” says senior administration official. [WT]

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We know, we know, we have absolute faith that some aspect of the John Roberts confirmation hearings is exciting. That aspect is probably happening underneath the desk. (Has everyone been keeping their eyes on where Biden’s hands are? He really likes himself, you know. Then again, Biden does most of his masturbating on camera.) MORE »

In this White House pool report, notes on Sandra Day O’Connor’s eulogy for Chief Justice Rehnquist:

“He never twisted arms to get a vote on a case. He relied on the power of his arguments,’’ she said. O’Connor, who grew up on a ranch, said he ran the court like an accomplished rider handles a horse.

“The really expert riders of horses let the horse know immediately who is in control, but then they guide the horse with loose reins and very seldom use the spurs. So it was with our chief. He guided us with loose reins and used the spurs only rarely to get us up to speed with our work,” she said.

We don’t mind a little whip now and again ourselves, but, hey, we knew there was a reason we liked the guy. Also, we hope to we have enough spark to sass doctors from our deathbed, too:

“And he never lost his sense of humor. As he was being examined in the emergency room of a local hospital in the final week of his life, the examining physician asked who was his primary care doctor. `My dentist,’ he struggled to say, with a twinkle in his eye.”

Full report after the jump.

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