Poor Ex-Congressman William “Dollar Bill” Jefferson of Louisiana! All the man did was use his seat on the Ways and Means Committee to secretly broker a deal between a Virginia telecom company and the Nigerian vice president, the $90,000 bribe for which he laundered in emptied food wrappers in his home freezer, and now some do-gooder activist Alexandria jury has found him guilty on 11 of 16 corruption counts for a possible sentencing of 115 years in jail. What’s the point of being a congressman, then? [Times-Picayune]

The federal government today filed papers outlining more allegations against Congressman William Jefferson (D-Louisiana) but doesn’t plan to file any further charges. The charges, unsurprisingly, include performing official duties for money (like, writing a letter to NASA) and arranging meetings for a lobbyist with high-level Nigerian officials in exchange for a lobbying contract for a relative. It’s entirely likely that the only reason the federal government isn’t prosecuting the new charges is that the federal court made them give back all the papers they raided his office for last year. [CQ Today Midday Update]

William Jefferson, America’s Congressman, pleaded not guilty today to charges of being really, really lousy at covering up his racketeering, bribery, and money-laundering/freezing. As proof that he was 100% innocent, he pointed out that his children and grandchildren were all very bright. MORE »

A hearty congratulations to Rep. William Jefferson on his recent indictment! MORE »

* That he thinks announcing his candidacy on Letterman is edgy doesn’t even make a top-ten list of things that suck about John McCain. [WP, NYT]
* Fired US Attorney invents conspiracy theory to help him cope with failure. [WP, NYT]
* Barry Hussein biographer writes 20,000 words in two weeks while political journalists doodle in their notebooks. [WSJ]
* FEC now dropping fines like it was the FCC. [NYT]
* Ken Mehlman charges corporate clients hefty sums to make sure they can keep making shit-tons. [WSJ]
* Congressional Republicans continue their long tradition of trying to hold down people of color by getting petty with William Jefferson’s committee appointment. What’s he ever done? [WP]
* Democrats find a nerd-king in their ranks, let him budget things to his heart’s content. [WP]
* Fill yourself with nostalgia for the age of the classic American liberal dandy. [WP, NYT, LAT]

Travesties abound this week as Helen Thomas waits in the cold while waves of taxis pass her by, Clarence Thomas struggles to afford a $15 hamburger, and people still listen to anything Dick Gephardt has to say. All this sadness plus a sighting with a really fishy smell and a touch of Alanis-style irony, after you finish your Zoloft.

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* Heard on the Hill: William Jefferson already violating House ethics rules, uses official letterhead, House internal mail service to hit up other members for donations… Rep. Stephanie Herseth (D-S.D.) to marry some dude on March 31… TV journos upset that Nancy Pelosi won’t let them broadcast from Statuary Hall today. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: Pelosi’s “Celebration Concert” tonight at the National Building is off-limits to the press. Attending: Tony Bennett, Carole King, Wyclef Jean, Bruce Hornsby, three former Grateful Dead members, Richard Gere and Amy Brenneman… Fed Chair Ben Bernanke spotted buying funnyman Dave Barry’s Money Secrets. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Busty blondes love horses: Barbi Twins join Bo Derek in lobbying against horse slaughter. ‘It’s like eating the flag,” says Sia. Quote of the year… Freshman Rep. Zack Space, who replaced Bob Ney, almost hired a cabbie named Ney… Despite being done in Congress forever, Rep. Shelley DraculaCunt Gibbs represented Texas’ 22nd at Ford’s Lying in State party… Nancy Pelosi held a tea party yesterday, Wonder Woman was there for some reason. [Examiner]
* Under the Dome: Robert Byrd is addicted to Red Bull. Vodka too, we assume… “Sen. Gordon Smith (R-Ore.) is the proud possessor of an original copy of Ford’s pardon of outgoing President Richard Nixon.” [Hill News]
* Rush & Molloy: Former DNC head Terry McAuliffe had great luck raising money from godless Hollywood types, Mike Bloomberg. [NYDN]

* Congressional Republicans push through change to health insurance rules at the buzzer. [WP]
* Meanwhile, Democrats fail to extort concessions from oil and gas companies. “Wait ’til next year,” they say. [WSJ]
* That’s when they’ll be relying on younger members’ “energy” and “intensity” to get everything they want from the 110th Congress. [WP]
* State department intelligence on Iranian nuclear terrorists powered by Google. [WP]
* William Jefferson wins reelection, reaffirms superiority of the American political system. [WP, NYT]
* Iraq Study Group’s report exposes rift among Republicans. James Baker and Lee Hamilton claim they got no beef with President Bush, and want to know who you callin’ “surrender monkey?” [WP, NYT]
* Barack Obama goes to New Hampshire, tells giant crowd that he doesn’t trust his own hype. [WP, NYT]
* In his farewell speech today, Kofi Annan will rip White House policies in the only dapper, civilized, and slightly accented way he knows. [USAT]
* Havana-born Republican congresswoman calls for the assignation of Fidel Castro, dog bites man. [NYT]
* Republican Presidential hopefuls kiss Bush family ass, dog bites man. [LAT]

* Sam Brownback figures if he spends the night in jail, he’ll have to get some nutsack to butt-crack lovin’. [Political Ticker]
* Donald Rumsfeld is even in denial about the American Civil War. [Think Progress]
* “Experts” are now “evaluating” Ted Haggard’s gayness. [Pandagon]
* Laura Bush is too classy to slap the bitch that was wearing her same dress — she just had highly trained Secret Service agents go and fetch her another one. [Boozhy]
* “The greatest actor, ever” shares his wisdom on how to defeat terrorism, and defeat it the F.A.G. way. [HuffPo]
* Everything William Jefferson does is shady as shit. [MyDD]
* Noam Chomsky “could fart and it would smell like wisdom.” [Power, Seduction and War]

* President Bush did, in fact, read the Iraq Study Group’s report, but has no plans to enact its recommendations. [WP, NYT, LAT]
* “Iraq Surrender Group” is more like it. [LAT]
* Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama have dinner together, frolic in a field, give steely glares across a dais on the Senate floor. [WP]
* As billion dollar Coast Guard ship modernization program falters, Cubans, Haitians, and Columbians rejoice. [WP]
* Bye-bye, Bill Frist. [WP, NYT]
* Louisiana’s 2nd district runoff election hinges on corruption and pork. William Jefferson might have just enough of each to win.[WSJ]
* Congressional smoking: a bulwark against worse vices. [WP]

* Outside the beltway naiveté rears its cute little non-partisan head as most Americans respond, “I don’t know,” when asked who they want for President in ‘08. [The Swamp]
* It’d be nice if for once we didn’t have to say it — Robert Gates is richer than you. [TPM Muckraker]
* The blog-commenter race wars continue as some feriners stank ass forces a plane to make an emergency landing. [TalkLeft]
* Rudy Giuliani: America’s “hyper-authoritarian narcissist with a lust for overkill verging on the sociopathic” Mayor. [Salon]
* William Jefferson is still running for Congress and from the FBI. [Election Central]
* Christopher Hitchens outs himself. [Echidne of the Snakes]
* Happy birthday, Booze! [Hit & Run]