• OBAMA’S A LOSER: Uh oh, someone wants to look like a Tuff Guy by supporting illegal spying legislation that he previously… didn’t. And now every single comment board on the Internet will flood with great anti-Obama wits, writing “OOH WHOS YR DEM MESIAH NOW??” [Washington Post/The Trail]

Former White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan testified in Congress today about his terrible book, What Happened When I Did Yo Mama, and told them that President Bush may have vaguely possibly ordered former chief of staff Andy Card to order McClellan to deny I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby XVII’s involvement in leaking Valerie Plame’s name, to the press. At least there is “suspicion” Bush and Cheney were involved, somehow, McClellan thinks. Scott McClellan is very Important for this. [AP]

Gay Florida Gov. Charlie Crist has been actively opposed to drilling for oil off of Florida’s coast his entire political career. Many Florida politicians oppose it, in fact! Short version: it ruins the environment which would ruin tourism. Long version: “It would harm beaches vital to the state’s tourism economy and interfere with weapons testing and training in and over the Gulf of Mexico by Florida military bases.” So basically Charlie Crist has always opposed offshore oil drilling due to some postmodern, “green” interpretation of the military-industrial complex. But now that John McCain wants to lift the ban on offshore drilling, the veep-hunting Crist has suddenly decided that WE MUST ABSOLUTELY DRILL OFFSHORE, because of poor people and “states’ rights.” Seven whore diamonds. [AP]

He probably raised the bills just high enough to be out of reach for a 12-year-old Thai slaveboy. Sexistracist. [TwinCities.com]

Even though Eliot Spitzer was a frequent client of illegal prostitution companies — which he spent all his time trying to shut down, when he wasn’t actually using the hooker services — and even though he transported Kristen-Ashley (and probably many others) across state lines for white slavery sex acts, there are still no charges filed against him. But a woman who answered the phone and arranged the meetings between the prostitutes and their customers? She faces up to a quarter century in federal prison. [Reuters]

For the great crime of hooking up willing ladies with horny politicians, “D.C. Madam” Deborah Jeane Paltry was facing four to six years in prison, and today she was found dead in a shed behind her mother’s house in Florida. The men who paid for hookers through her service, such as Republican Senator David Vitter, have paid no price for their crimes, and they remain in power as the very people who make up the laws. Anyway, good-bye, Deborah Jeane. Though we didn’t know you at all, you had the grace to hold yourself while those around you crawled. They crawled out of the woodwork, and they whispered into your brain. They set you on the treadmill and then Dick Cheney had you killed. But Wonkette just sent your name to this moon spaceship, Deborah. Enjoy the ride to a better place! [Washington Post]

Attention spendy Republicans: for just $1000 you can hang out with President Bush at the Connecticut home of evil old war criminal Henry Kissinger next weekend. And for an extra $10,000, you can even get your picture taken with the proud alcoholic bunny-humper who currently runs our nation. MORE »

Hey everybody, remember Jessica Cutler? No? Well, a long time ago there was this Senate staffer aide and she had sex — including sex in the butt! — with men who gave her money or other valuables in exchange for the sex. This was different from all other human relationships because she, Jessica Cutler, made a blog about this, five years ago, when blogs were kind of a new thing. So how is she obviously involved with the Eliot Spitzer hooker scandal? MORE »

Are you tired of looking at pictures of prostitutes? Ha ha, liar! America’s political cartoonists have determined that hookers are an “In” visual icon these days, and, being shameless, have no shame about transforming many aspects of our beloved nation into whores for polemical purposes. Find out which abstract concepts you’d pay to fuck, after the jump. MORE »

According to the British tabloid News of the World, the Duke of Westminster also patronizes the Emperor’s Club VIP. He is Britain’s third richest man and “heads his country’s Territorial Army,” who fight the terrorists. Since these incredible things were not quite enough for his paid sex worker to have sex with him, here’s what he told her to seal the deal: “Osama bin Laden was alive and hiding in Pakistan.” MORE »

WHOREMONGER BLUES: Take a musical journey through Eliot Spitzer’s life-ruining hooker lovin,’ with this hand-picked playlist of hits. [Brightest Young Things]