Wonkette

Are you tired of looking at pictures of prostitutes? Ha ha, liar! America’s political cartoonists have determined that hookers are an “In” visual icon these days, and, being shameless, have no shame about transforming many aspects of our beloved nation into whores for polemical purposes. Find out which abstract concepts you’d pay to fuck, after the jump. MORE »

According to the British tabloid News of the World, the Duke of Westminster also patronizes the Emperor’s Club VIP. He is Britain’s third richest man and “heads his country’s Territorial Army,” who fight the terrorists. Since these incredible things were not quite enough for his paid sex worker to have sex with him, here’s what he told her to seal the deal: “Osama bin Laden was alive and hiding in Pakistan.” MORE »

WHOREMONGER BLUES: Take a musical journey through Eliot Spitzer’s life-ruining hooker lovin,’ with this hand-picked playlist of hits. [Brightest Young Things]

Confused by Eliot Spitzer’s need for a super-premium $4,300 hooker? The Washington Post assigned two (2) staff writers to investigate the differences a wealthy man such as the whore addict Eliot Spitzer might notice between, say, a $4,300 fancy New York courtesan and a $30 crack whore in D.C. The differences may surprise you! MORE »

Eliot Spitzer’s in one room, crying over his ruined career and life and whatever, while his wife “Silda Wall” is on the other side of mansion-apartment with her lawyers. “She doesn’t want to look at him, and he doesn’t want to bear the look that she gives when she does look at him,” a secret insider tells the New York Sun. What, she doesn’t want to look at Mr. Whore-Lovin’ Hypocrite Muppet Mouth? But he’s so cute. [New York Sun]

The grand mystery of Eliot Spitzer’s comically hypocritical whoring is what exactly was being discussed when classy hooker “Kristen” was told by her madam that Spitzer “would ask you to do things that, like, you might not think were safe ….” Although we remain hopeful that it was something really weird and dangerous, possibly involving a trapeze and a velvet hovercraft, the consensus seems to be “He didn’t want to wear a condom.” But why are they speaking to each other in such stilted circumlocutions? We could make up a whole list of similarly pointlessly roundabout talk at the super-premium Brothel of Ambiguity. Let’s do it! MORE »

Wasn’t Eliot Spitzer supposed to be smart? No, he’s a moron. And also a creep. When he needed an “alias” for his whoring, he just used the name of his real-life close friend and supporter, George Fox. The real George Fox “has known Governor Spitzer for more than 20 years and has been a supporter during the Governor’s various political campaigns.” It wasn’t enough to shame his wife and family — Creepy Eliot needed to humiliate his friends and supporters, too. MORE »

Ruh roh, New York Governor Eliot Spitzer is a master of whores! A Hebrew pimp? A baldilocks whoremonger? A fishmonger dabbling in whores, with a cod piece of cold ethical hypocrisy? O, such country matters. Anyway, just what exactly is this Spitzer doing with these sloppy whores? Let’s liveblog his press conference… MORE »

AND NOW HE’S FIRED: David Shuster sort of called Chelsea Clinton a whore, so now he’s “suspended” from, uh, guest hosting Tucker Carlson’s show? [Media Matters]

He may apologize later tonight, but MSNBC’s David Shuster totally thinks Chelsea Clinton is a prostitute. He has a point though — look at those clothes! There are breasts flying everywhere. Still, this is such a big deal that Hillary Clinton may never appear in an MSNBC debate again, ever. [MSNBC]