Tag: whores

Serves you right!

If You’re One Of Ashley Madison’s 40 Million Gross Cheating Whores, We Have Bad News

DELETE YR ACCOUNTS, SHEEPLE. If you are one of the gross pervs who has been gross perving it up on the Ashley Madison website -- tagline "Life is short. Have an affair" -- your wife or husband or life...

A Very Angry Guest Post About Annette Funicello

A guest post from your comrade "Lou Cabron." And speaking of sluts, three weeks ago pastor Steven Anderson strolled into his Arizona church with proof that "the birth control movement" was promoting whoredom. So the pastor waves around his flimsy...

Mike Huckabee Practices New GOP Outreach To Women: They’re Whores Who Can’t Stop Boning

Here is a funny thing. In 2008, your Editrix believed -- and said to people, with her mouth! -- that Mike Huckabee, the kindly preacher who didn't seem to actively want to skin and eat the poor, would be...

Brian Fischer Done Thinking About Boy Scouts’ Buttocks For Now, Has Thoughts On Ladies Instead

Do you live in one of the 40 percent of households that is headed by a broad? Well Brian Fischer of the American Patriarchy Association does not care if he is "politically incorrect," he is gonna tell ya like...

Jesus: Don’t Let Your Daughters Go To College To Turn Into Ugly Feminist Whores

We are sure these Christian radio hosts were not trying to gift us with the joy of laughter, the heartiest, most cleansing laughs we have had in weeks. We believe they are quite serious, as they prove without a...

Barack Obama Ruining Detroit With Illegitimate Babies, Unwed Whore Moms

Among the city of Detroit's multitude of problems is crime. Well, not crime so much as murder. The city of 700,000-ish averaged about one murder a day in 2012 even as officials claim crime overall fell. Just like on...

Lazy Slut Who Did No Work Dinesh D’Souza ‘Resigns’ From Million Dollar Christian College Prez Gig

Dinesh D'Souza: Not having the greatest of all possible weeks? Just a couple days after the revelation that got engaged to and/or shared a hotel with his new lady without technically getting divorced from his old one (and...

Florida Politicians Sure Do Love Paying For Sex

How many elected officials in the state of Florida have to be discovered on a list of clients at a brothel before Your Wonkette deigns to write about it? One? Two? Three? Oh, no, wait,...

Wonkette Has Always Depended On The Kindness Of Strangers

You are looking to reach over 650k unique human beings each month – Wonkette readers are born with an advanced degree and at least one third of them even have jobs! – and we are looking to keep from...

Mike Huckabee Declares War On Obama’s ‘Morally Repugnant Political Whores’

Each day is an adventure for Mike Huckabee. Some days he's all happy and a-slappin' the bass and whizzing off churchy jokes to his elderly fan base, other days he's angry as a constipated cockatoo in search of the...

Heroic Colorado Ladies Lysol Students At Prom For Pretending To Do Butt-Sechs

Hey teens! Are you ready for the most magical night of your lives, when you will go to Manitou Springs City Hall and dance like you are pretending to do butt-sechs, and then later you will finally lose your...

What Conservative Blogger People Totally Sold Out To Mitt Romney Yesterday?

Mitt Romney is a fraud and a liberal and they would never like him, the conservative Internettery told us for years. Who goes to closed-door suck-offs with politicians, anyway? But yesterday, they all met up to hug each other...

Twitter Digest: Ted Nugent And Secret Service To Bang Whores, Barbecue A Dog

Ted Nugent is having a barbecue with the Secret Service, because he simply cannot stop asking ladies and Barack Obama to ride his machine gun, and suck on his machine gun, and die from the bullets ejaculating forth from...

Free Speech Martyr Rush Limbaugh Gets Hooker Website Ad Offer

Having spent four (12? 40?) days wheezing into his herpes-flecked microphone about hot nubile coeds and the sextapes they should make for him, poor martyred modern-day Mario Savio Rush Limbaugh finally caught a break when loathsome hooker website "SeekingArrangement.com"...

Todd Palin’s Alleged Prostitute Releasing Exciting Book About Sex With Todd Palin

Somehow, the Wasilla gravy train has finally run out of steam. What else can explain Todd Palin's alleged Wasilla mistress/prostitute not getting a six-figure book deal for her story? America has finally grown tired of Sarah Palin and her...

NJ GOP Candidate Not Sorry For Tweeting About Whores

World's best lover New Jersey GOP state Senate candidate Phil Mitsch has some hot relationship tips on Twitter for the ladies, oh yeah: "Women, you increase your odds of keeping your men by being faithful, a lady in the living...