July 25, 2014
A guest post from your comrade “Lou Cabron.” And speaking of sluts, three weeks ago pastor Steven Anderson strolled into his Arizona church with proof that “the birth control movement” was promoting whoredom. So the pastor waves around his flimsy print-out, sternly warning the congregation that Annette Funicello is a whore whoring it up with […]
Here is a funny thing. In 2008, your Editrix believed — and said to people, with her mouth! — that Mike Huckabee, the kindly preacher who didn’t seem to actively want to skin and eat the poor, would be the greatest threat to the Dems if nominated. Since then, of course, he has become as […]
Do you live in one of the 40 percent of households that is headed by a broad? Well Brian Fischer of the American Patriarchy Association does not care if he is “politically incorrect,” he is gonna tell ya like it is, and that is that the heavenly FATHER, one certain Mr. Man-Type-Person GOD, set it […]
We are sure these Christian radio hosts were not trying to gift us with the joy of laughter, the heartiest, most cleansing laughs we have had in weeks. We believe they are quite serious, as they prove without a doubt the link between letting your daughter go to college and her ugly feminist professors turning […]
Among the city of Detroit’s multitude of problems is crime. Well, not crime so much as murder. The city of 700,000-ish averaged about one murder a day in 2012 even as officials claim crime overall fell. Just like on The Wire! Nothing shady about crime down/murders up statistics at all. But why is Detroit so […]
Dinesh D’Souza: Not having the greatest of all possible weeks? Just a couple days after the revelation that got engaged to and/or shared a hotel with his new lady without technically getting divorced from his old one (and also that lady has a husband too, or at least did recently, ha ha) comes the bad […]
How many elected officials in the state of Florida have to be discovered on a list of clients at a brothel before Your Wonkette deigns to write about it? One? Two? Three? Oh, no, wait, we guess it’s only two. So, noted central Florida pimp Mark David Risner, what sort of politicians did you lure […]
You are looking to reach over 650k unique human beings each month – Wonkette readers are born with an advanced degree and at least one third of them even have jobs! – and we are looking to keep from peddling our children on the street. Let us help you help us!
Each day is an adventure for Mike Huckabee. Some days he’s all happy and a-slappin’ the bass and whizzing off churchy jokes to his elderly fan base, other days he’s angry as a constipated cockatoo in search of the great release. (Other days he is a leading possibility for President of the United States of […]
Hey teens! Are you ready for the most magical night of your lives, when you will go to Manitou Springs City Hall and dance like you are pretending to do butt-sechs, and then later you will finally lose your stupid virginity in a haze of Bartles & Jaymes? That’s right, PROM NIGHT! Well, two chaperones […]
Mitt Romney is a fraud and a liberal and they would never like him, the conservative Internettery told us for years. Who goes to closed-door suck-offs with politicians, anyway? But yesterday, they all met up to hug each other at the elite — ELITE — Capitol Hill Cub. Why have they abandoned the true conservative […]
Ted Nugent is having a barbecue with the Secret Service, because he simply cannot stop asking ladies and Barack Obama to ride his machine gun, and suck on his machine gun, and die from the bullets ejaculating forth from his machine gun, and now he is like a black Jew at a Klan rally, he […]
Having spent four (12? 40?) days wheezing into his herpes-flecked microphone about hot nubile coeds and the sextapes they should make for him, poor martyred modern-day Mario Savio Rush Limbaugh finally caught a break when loathsome hooker website “SeekingArrangement.com” decided they could use some more publicity, and announced their hopes to advertise.
Somehow, the Wasilla gravy train has finally run out of steam. What else can explain Todd Palin’s alleged Wasilla mistress/prostitute not getting a six-figure book deal for her story? America has finally grown tired of Sarah Palin and her snowbilly family’s oxycontin exploits. But, just in case you need a final dose, be sure to […]
World’s best lover New Jersey GOP state Senate candidate Phil Mitsch has some hot relationship tips on Twitter for the ladies, oh yeah: “Women, you increase your odds of keeping your men by being faithful, a lady in the living room and a whore in the bedroom.” BAM. You like that? Yeah, you do. And that’s […]