Tag Archives: whores

  Not the sort of "leaks" these people prefer

If You’re One Of Ashley Madison’s 40 Million Gross Cheating Whores, We Have Bad News

Serves you right!
DELETE YR ACCOUNTS, SHEEPLE. If you are one of the gross pervs who has been gross perving it up on the Ashley Madison website — tagline “Life is short. Have an affair” — your wife or husband or life partner may be about to find out about how gross you are, at which point they will be divorcing you and taking all your money for the rest of your life, because the judge will agree that you are a very bad gross perv cheater. And how will they find out? Because Ashley Madison got hacked, and the hackers took all the info on 40 million people, from the United States and that cute snowy “Canadia” country that sits just to the north, and they are threatening to release it if their demands are not met: Read more on If You’re One Of Ashley Madison’s 40 Million Gross Cheating Whores, We Have Bad News…
  what's that spell? whore!

A Very Angry Guest Post About Annette Funicello

A guest post from your comrade “Lou Cabron.” And speaking of sluts, three weeks ago pastor Steven Anderson strolled into his Arizona church with proof that “the birth control movement” was promoting whoredom. So the pastor waves around his flimsy print-out, sternly warning the congregation that Annette Funicello is a whore whoring it up with birth control, contributing to whoredom, which “is what birth control does to our society.” Unfortunately, it turned out to be an ad for suntan lotion. Read more on A Very Angry Guest Post About Annette Funicello…
  sugarbabies

Mike Huckabee Practices New GOP Outreach To Women: They’re Whores Who Can’t Stop Boning

Here is a funny thing. In 2008, your Editrix believed — and said to people, with her mouth! — that Mike Huckabee, the kindly preacher who didn’t seem to actively want to skin and eat the poor, would be the greatest threat to the Dems if nominated. Since then, of course, he has become as actively nutsoid as the rest of our friendly Republican candidates. Case in point! Now Mike Huckabee has said a thing, with his mouth, to the winter meeting of the RNC. And that thing is that … well, every time we try to paraphrase it makes even less sense. So, here you go: “If the Democrats want to insult women by making them believe that they are helpless without Uncle Sugar coming in and providing for them a prescription each month for birth control because they cannot control their libido or their reproductive system without the help of the government, then so be it,” he said. “Let us take this discussion all across America because women are far more than the Democrats have played them to be.” “And women across America need to stand up and say ‘Enough of that nonsense,'” he added. Enough of that nonsense indeed, Mike Huckabee. IN-DEED. Read more on Mike Huckabee Practices New GOP Outreach To Women: They’re Whores Who Can’t Stop Boning…
  bring home the bacon fry it up in a pan

Brian Fischer Done Thinking About Boy Scouts’ Buttocks For Now, Has Thoughts On Ladies Instead

Do you live in one of the 40 percent of households that is headed by a broad? Well Brian Fischer of the American Patriarchy Association does not care if he is “politically incorrect,” he is gonna tell ya like it is, and that is that the heavenly FATHER, one certain Mr. Man-Type-Person GOD, set it up in the Bibble that chicks should shut up and make their husbands a sammich and focus on the home, because that is what their cute little brains were made for, and stop earning more than their men, because it hurts the men’s scrotal fortitude. It is much better to let the children go hungry than for a woman to outearn her man, since hunger in America does not exist. Sorry, ladeez, but that is just Science Bible Fact. Read more on Brian Fischer Done Thinking About Boy Scouts’ Buttocks For Now, Has Thoughts On Ladies Instead…
  which kind of feminist are you?

Jesus: Don’t Let Your Daughters Go To College To Turn Into Ugly Feminist Whores

We are sure these Christian radio hosts were not trying to gift us with the joy of laughter, the heartiest, most cleansing laughs we have had in weeks. We believe they are quite serious, as they prove without a doubt the link between letting your daughter go to college and her ugly feminist professors turning her into a family-destroying, child-hating, ugly, angry feminist whore. In fact, if they could see us, sitting at our monitor, drinking our fair-trade shade-grown organic French roast coffee in our Stylish Urban Loft Of Destroying the Family and Whoring, and they could see our happy, beaming VERY ANGRY face, they would probably get even angrier than they are now, and that is really saying something. Give them just shy of five minutes of your time. You’ll be so glad MAD you did! Read more on Jesus: Don’t Let Your Daughters Go To College To Turn Into Ugly Feminist Whores…
  how are we blaming single mothers today?

Barack Obama Ruining Detroit With Illegitimate Babies, Unwed Whore Moms

Among the city of Detroit’s multitude of problems is crime. Well, not crime so much as murder. The city of 700,000-ish averaged about one murder a day in 2012 even as officials claim crime overall fell. Just like on The Wire! Nothing shady about crime down/murders up statistics at all. But why is Detroit so murder-y? The answer is Barack HUSSEIN Obama, natch. He’s the one killing people everyday in Detroit. No wait, that’s not right. Try this: Barack Obama is responsible for all of Detroit’s out-of-wedlock births. You know, because “the females” can’t resist his sexy charms. No wait, that’s not right. Here it is: Obama isn’t impregnating Detroit’s women. He’s just not stopping them from getting preggers, according to dumb Detroit News editorial cartoonist Henry Payne. Read more on Barack Obama Ruining Detroit With Illegitimate Babies, Unwed Whore Moms…
  twas beauty killed the beast

Lazy Slut Who Did No Work Dinesh D’Souza ‘Resigns’ From Million Dollar Christian College Prez Gig

Dinesh D’Souza: Not having the greatest of all possible weeks? Just a couple days after the revelation that got engaged to and/or shared a hotel with his new lady without technically getting divorced from his old one (and also that lady has a husband too, or at least did recently, ha ha) comes the bad news that he’s going to “resign” from his job as president of The King’s College. (We put “resign” in quotes because “he” “made” the decision after the school’s board of trustees met for like two days straight, presumably deciding the wording of the resignation statement “he” would write.) Was he forced out because of his sexual shenanigans? Sure! But also because he was doing a not very good job of being president of The King’s College? Yes, that too! Read more on Lazy Slut Who Did No Work Dinesh D’Souza ‘Resigns’ From Million Dollar Christian College Prez Gig…
  america's wang we love you

Florida Politicians Sure Do Love Paying For Sex

How many elected officials in the state of Florida have to be discovered on a list of clients at a brothel before Your Wonkette deigns to write about it? One? Two? Three? Oh, no, wait, we guess it’s only two. So, noted central Florida pimp Mark David Risner, what sort of politicians did you lure to the “sex room” in your house, for paid sex? A state representative and “rising GOP star,” plus a comically titled “vice mayor”? And they paid you $200 an hour, which last we checked the exchange rate was about two and a half whore diamonds? Nice work! Read more on Florida Politicians Sure Do Love Paying For Sex…
  give us all your muneez

Wonkette Has Always Depended On The Kindness Of Strangers

You are looking to reach over 650k unique human beings each month – Wonkette readers are born with an advanced degree and at least one third of them even have jobs! – and we are looking to keep from peddling our children on the street. Let us help you help us! Read more on Wonkette Has Always Depended On The Kindness Of Strangers…
  people who are still alive

Mike Huckabee Declares War On Obama’s ‘Morally Repugnant Political Whores’

Each day is an adventure for Mike Huckabee. Some days he’s all happy and a-slappin’ the bass and whizzing off churchy jokes to his elderly fan base, other days he’s angry as a constipated cockatoo in search of the great release. (Other days he is a leading possibility for President of the United States of America, but hopefully those days are over.) What’s his fucking problem now? Something about “morally repugnant political whores,” one of the more redundant phrases out there. Read more on Mike Huckabee Declares War On Obama’s ‘Morally Repugnant Political Whores’…
  focus on your own damn family

Heroic Colorado Ladies Lysol Students At Prom For Pretending To Do Butt-Sechs

Hey teens! Are you ready for the most magical night of your lives, when you will go to Manitou Springs City Hall and dance like you are pretending to do butt-sechs, and then later you will finally lose your stupid virginity in a haze of Bartles & Jaymes? That’s right, PROM NIGHT! Well, two chaperones did not think much of your “slutty, whorish, trashy” ways, and so they ran around the dance calling you sluts and whores, calling the cops on you, and then spraying you with Lysol. “It cleans the air,” but can it clean your chlamydia? As detailed by police, several teenagers told officers that the chaperones subsequently deployed the Lysol, which got into the eyes and mouths of some dancers (some of whom had to leave the prom). A female student reported the spraying to police, saying that [Jennifer] Farmer and [Hannah] Rockey said that some dancers “were advertising butt sex.” The chaperones, the girl told cops, referred to her and her friends as “sluts and whores” and “dirty.” Read more on Heroic Colorado Ladies Lysol Students At Prom For Pretending To Do Butt-Sechs…
  media elites

What Conservative Blogger People Totally Sold Out To Mitt Romney Yesterday?

Mitt Romney is a fraud and a liberal and they would never like him, the conservative Internettery told us for years. Who goes to closed-door suck-offs with politicians, anyway? But yesterday, they all met up to hug each other at the elite — ELITE — Capitol Hill Cub. Why have they abandoned the true conservative cause and sold out, horribly, and irreversibly, to their new best friend Mitt Romney? Aren’t they all going to Hell for this? (Sorry, excuse us, we’re enjoying ourselves, because this is totally what they would say.) Have they all apologized to their readers in the Conservative Movement yet, for selling out so quickly and aligning themselves to this fat cat abortion-loving Space Masshole? It seems the only organization with any integrity on the Republican side is World Net Daily. Read more on What Conservative Blogger People Totally Sold Out To Mitt Romney Yesterday?…
  eyebleach

Free Speech Martyr Rush Limbaugh Gets Hooker Website Ad Offer

Having spent four (12? 40?) days wheezing into his herpes-flecked microphone about hot nubile coeds and the sextapes they should make for him, poor martyred modern-day Mario Savio Rush Limbaugh finally caught a break when loathsome hooker website “SeekingArrangement.com” decided they could use some more publicity, and announced their hopes to advertise. Read more on Free Speech Martyr Rush Limbaugh Gets Hooker Website Ad Offer…
  snowbilly book news

Todd Palin’s Alleged Prostitute Releasing Exciting Book About Sex With Todd Palin

Somehow, the Wasilla gravy train has finally run out of steam. What else can explain Todd Palin’s alleged Wasilla mistress/prostitute not getting a six-figure book deal for her story? America has finally grown tired of Sarah Palin and her snowbilly family’s oxycontin exploits. But, just in case you need a final dose, be sure to buy the hawt new paperback Boys Will Be Boys by Shailey Tripp. (Tripp?) Read more on Todd Palin’s Alleged Prostitute Releasing Exciting Book About Sex With Todd Palin…
  loser lotharios

NJ GOP Candidate Not Sorry For Tweeting About Whores

World’s best lover New Jersey GOP state Senate candidate Phil Mitsch has some hot relationship tips on Twitter for the ladies, oh yeah: “Women, you increase your odds of keeping your men by being faithful, a lady in the living room and a whore in the bedroom.” BAM. You like that? Yeah, you do. And that’s just a taste of your “constituent services” to come (heh)! And to all the Democratic and Republican state leaders who keep calling on him to quit the race — he won’t apologize, because you just don’t know good advice when you hear it. Read more on NJ GOP Candidate Not Sorry For Tweeting About Whores…