WASHINGTON, DC, 04:53 AM, SUN NOVEMBER 8 | Advertise on Wonkette | tips@wonkette.com | SUBMIT A TIP | RSS

Posts Tagged ‘whore diamonds’

NO WONDER SILDA WOULDN'T SLEEP WITH HIM

Eliot Spitzer’s Thrilling Debut As Online Bore

Thursday, December 4th, 2008

Yip yip, BrrrriiinnggHow do you “sex up” your latest middlebrow conventional-wisdom financial column in Slate, which is the U.S. News & World Report for people who have learned the computer? You hire a disgraced New York governor now only known for paying far too much money to have sex with a hooker! And that is worth one (1) morning of goofy New York tabloid headlines such as “Slate hot for Love Gov Eliot Spitzer as online finance guru” and two (2) posts on Wonkette. Let’s review Spitzer’s debut as yet another Web freelancer typing zero-research op-eds on the Internets! MORE »


EMPLOYMENT TIPS FROM BLOGGERS

Career Advice For Kristen Ashley Dupre

Wednesday, November 19th, 2008

Hello Kristen.Our favorite New Jersey hooker who accidentally destroyed Eliot Spitzer’s political career is just a dumb kid trying to make sense of a crazy world, right? And the only interesting thing in her entire life already happened. And she didn’t even know it! She had no idea who Spitzer even was, because who would know those things, being an adult, living in New York, and working for an expensive escort service serving Wall Street men, right? So she finally pops her head out of the media hole, finds Diane Sawyer (who happens to be spending months doing some teevee segment on prostitutes, who are mostly — and tragically — ugly old junkies), and declares that she wants a “singing career.” MORE »


ZERO WHORE DIAMONDS

Eliot Spitzer Free To Keep Whorin’

Thursday, November 6th, 2008

Bwinnggg?Eliot Spitzer, the beloved Democratic ex-governor of New York and our nation’s personal Batman in the fight against prostitution, will not be charged for his innocent role in repeatedly hiring expensive prostitutes to have sex with him all over the Eastern Seaboard, because now Democrats run the entire world and ain’t nobody ever going to jail again for simple gettin’ busy, heh heh. MORE »


WHORING FOR HOPE

Everybody With Spare Obama Tickets Is Getting So Laid

Friday, October 31st, 2008

Hi Kristen!If you’ve got a spare ticket to Obama’s Election Night Party in Chicago, you are going to get more ass than a toilet seat. Possibly attractive people are offering full access to all their various orifices to any creep with the special currency of Tuesday Night at Grant Park. Join us for a lecherous tour of Chicago Craigslist offers and demands. MORE »


ONE WHORE DIAMOND

Wednesday, July 2nd, 2008

REAL ESTATE

Eliot Spitzer Now Screwing Distressed Homeowners

Tuesday, June 10th, 2008

Ohhhhhh! Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrring! YipYipYipYipYipYipYipDisgraced whore-fucker Eliot Spitzer is done with this “help people with their lives” nonsense, now that he doesn’t have to govern New York or shut down prostitution rings while patronizing those same prostitution rings. He is ready to earn ONE BILLION WHORE DIAMONDS by becoming a “vulture” real-estate flipper. MORE »


HILLARY CLINTON

How Great Is This Hillary Video?

Tuesday, March 11th, 2008


Hmm… eight Whore Diamonds? ELEVEN? This video is worth infinity Whore Diamonds. [YouTube]