Tag Archives: whoops

  it's not the news it's cnn

CNN Reporters Looking A Bit Glum Over Epically Messing Their Bed On Boston Bombing (Video)

UPDATE! Now with video stolen from Mediaite! CNN, after spending almost an hour getting more and more frenzied while trumpeting its scoop that law enforcement had identified a suspect and had either arrested that suspect or were on the verge of arresting that suspect, just had the terrible misfortune of having to retract its entire report. Read more on CNN Reporters Looking A Bit Glum Over Epically Messing Their Bed On Boston Bombing (Video)…
  always whining about the poor

Health Care Decision A Victory For Everyone, Except Millions Of Poor People Maybe

Good news, liberal-arts majors with Internet connections! Now even though you don’t have a “real job” but are making a livable amount of money by cobbling together three blogging gigs and so don’t have health insurance, starting in 2014 you will be able to (and also required) to stone-cold buy health insurance from whoever you want — even if you have a pre-existing condition (i.e., herpes, we are going to guess that herpes is what you have). But wait, do you only have one blogging job, or maybe no blogging job and you work in a Wal-Mart, or as one of Newt Gingrich’s janitors or something, and so you can’t even afford to buy insurance through the subsidized exchanges and you were kind of counting on the expansion of the Medicaid to cover you? Well, we’ve got good news! Oh, do you live in a state with a Republican governor and/or legislature? Then we mean “bad news.” UPDATED WITH MAYBE SLIGHTLY LESS BAD NEWS? Read more on Health Care Decision A Victory For Everyone, Except Millions Of Poor People Maybe…
  never never ever forget

Fox News Host Forgets 9/11, Gets Very Angry About It

The eight-year period of 2000-2008 was the best, wasn’t it? First everyone freaked out about Y2K which ended up not really being very exciting, then the movie Chicken Run came out, but then wasn’t there something kind of bad that happened in 2001? Like maybe some bad El Niño weather or the end of a popular television series, or a giant terrorist attack that killed nearly 3,000 people? Not according to Glenn Beck-substitute lecturer Eric Bolling! Maybe he was cruising for chicks with Carson Daly that year, because 9/11 somehow slipped his mind. Read more on Fox News Host Forgets 9/11, Gets Very Angry About It…
  uh oh

United States Gov’t Sorry About Credit Card Not Going Through, Will Try This Other One

We are not exactly sure what all of this means, except that America is almost officially bankrupt instead of “bankrupt but in name only.” (Reuters) – The United States probably wouldn’t be able to maintain its prized AAA sovereign ratings status if it suffered even a “technical” default on its debt, Fitch Ratings said on Wednesday. Read more on United States Gov’t Sorry About Credit Card Not Going Through, Will Try This Other One…
  wait other beck is a scientologist so maybe not

Sarah Palin Slights Glenn Beck By Mistaking Him For Sane Person

Oh look, Twitter, Sarah Palin is here to tell us that the media is being silly about her pal @beck’s rally. What’s that silly media? You say @beck is the Twitter handle not of Glenn Beck but of the multi-instrumentalist musicman Beck? Sounds like you’re just relying on your eyes and ears again, like idiots. Read more on Sarah Palin Slights Glenn Beck By Mistaking Him For Sane Person…
  charming

Carly Fiorina Learns About Live Mics While Mocking Barbara Boxer’s Hair

Carly Fiorina is already abusing her lifelong “you can’t make fun of my hair because I had cancer” privileges by savagely mocking the hair of actual senator Barbara Boxer. What’s Carly’s excuse? Oh gosh, she didn’t know those broadcast microphones and video cameras pointed at her were turned on. Watch the shameful video. Read more on Carly Fiorina Learns About Live Mics While Mocking Barbara Boxer’s Hair…
  the free market works

Newspaper Runs Delightful ‘Kill Obama’ Ad

C’mon now, libtards. Ad dollars are running thin these days. Some schlock wants to buy an “assassinate the President” ad? Well, if he’s paying cash… “Warren Times Observer Publisher John Elchert says the ad appeared Thursday. It read, ‘May Obama follow in the steps of Lincoln, Garfield, McKinley and Kennedy!’ The four presidents were all assassinated. Elchert tells The Associated Press that the newspaper’s advertising staff didn’t make the historical connection.” Maybe he just meant “be a mediocre-to-great president.” [AP, The Hill] Read more on Newspaper Runs Delightful ‘Kill Obama’ Ad…
  turncoats

Larry Eagleburger Doesn’t Like Sarah Palin

Lawrence Eagleburger served as Secretary of State under George H.W. Bush and is a serious, well-regarded Republican statesman — so it should come as no surprise that he is secretly in the tank for Barack Obama. Eagleburger endorsed John McCain for president, as McCain fondly recalled in a meandering interview with Walter Cronkite this past weekend, and yet! This Eagle Burger obviously harbors very sexist feelings toward Sarah Palin, because he had not-very-supportive things to say about her on the socialist ham radio propaganda network, “National Public Radio.” Read more on Larry Eagleburger Doesn’t Like Sarah Palin…
  awkward

Joe The Plumber Stands Up McCain On Live TV

Ha ha John McCain’s new boyfriend is a terrible media whore! Joe the Plumber has successfully converted his 15 milliseconds of fame into a COUNTRY MUSIC RECORDING CONTRACT and a live televised shotgun wedding on November 4th to Sarah Palin’s sixth baby, “Trotsky,” on top of a melting ice floe. Read more on Joe The Plumber Stands Up McCain On Live TV…
 

Christian Bummer: Experts Say There’s No Heaven

You know that whole “He’s in heaven now” thing people say after somebody dies? It’s not true. Nobody’s in heaven. That’s the shocking conclusion of Bishop N.T. Wright, one of those people who actually believes in the Bible and Christianity. And you know who really pisses him off? Maria Shriver, the trophy Kennedy wife of Arnold Schwarzenegger. Shriver wrote some dumb childrens’ book claiming that “good people” go to Heaven after they die. It’s a lie! They’re all still dead. Unless they’re Jesus, apparently. Read more on Christian Bummer: Experts Say There’s No Heaven…