Tag Archives: whole foods

  Enjoying the free market?

Whole Foods Busted For Overpriced Organic Vegan Tofu Yuppie Chow

Probably his fault somehow
Stop the recycled paper presses, Whole Foods is gouging its customers! Wait, we knew that, didn’t we? Yes. We mean, more than we even knew! According to an EXCLUSIVE report by NY Daily News, the New York Department of Consumer Affairs has been watching the sneaky way grocery stores throughout the city, especially Whole Foods, have been free marketing customers, with inaccurate labels: Read more on Whole Foods Busted For Overpriced Organic Vegan Tofu Yuppie Chow…
  just because you can do it doesn't mean you should

Business Owners Being Dicks: Your Week In Review

Oh look! Another douchebag business owner is doing another douchebag thing. We kinda think that dude from Whole Foods should take this week’s prize, because he had the two-fer: calling Obamacare “fascism” and explaining he’s not a climate change denier – he just thinks climate change is happening and it is real and spectacular. However, Mr. Terry Lee of Terry Lee Forensics (inventive name, bro) in Utah is running a close second: Read more on Business Owners Being Dicks: Your Week In Review…
  internet fight!

Whole Foods Now Catering to Crazy People Who Don’t Shop There

Fancy yuppie grocery store Whole Foods is known mostly for being a good place to spend eight dollars on a tomato that was planted in the ground without chemicals, sung to, and watered with organic unicorn juice on a farm with “ethical” work conditions or whatever. Whole Foods is also apparently run by people who like to make puns about Ramadan, which is not something that is done in this country nowadays, because of terrorism, obviously. Read more on Whole Foods Now Catering to Crazy People Who Don’t Shop There…
  rumors on the internets

Why Can’t the Government Just Send All the Unhealthy People To Bagram and Leave the Rest of Us the Hell Alone?

South Korea was a simple place, a happy place. Then South Korea was introduced to the Internet, and also Starcraft. And now South Korean people want to kill themselves. [Matt Yglesias] Read more on Why Can’t the Government Just Send All the Unhealthy People To Bagram and Leave the Rest of Us the Hell Alone?…
  food/booze news!

Finding Sushi In The City… Before It’s Too Late

Ha ha, now that there will be tons of babies running around DC thanks to Mr. Stupak and his coathanger-friendly amendment, women should start indulging in food that they won’t be able to eat while preggers, including sushi. And thankfully, DC is a city full of raw fish establishments. Read more on Finding Sushi In The City… Before It’s Too Late…
 

Swine Soup

Ha ha, do you have the pig AIDS, because just about everyone in DC has it! Have you sneezed or coughed at all in the last decade? Then it’s definitely the pig AIDS, and you shouldn’t touch anyone, especially small children or old dying people, because you could kill them. There’s no Tamiflu left, oh well, but there are plenty of places in the District where you can get comfort foods that should help make your impending death by swine a bit more bearable. Read more on Swine Soup…
  vote with your dollars

Boycott Whole Foods! Or Don’t!

So so many ethical quandaries this week! Should “we” “forgive” Michael Vick for being a dog-tortoruing sociopath, because he paid his debt to society? Should “we” continue to patronize a food store whose CEO — a man whose douchebaggery was well-established years ago — recently revealed an unpalatably conservative bent vis-a-vis the topic of heatlhcare? These are important questions. Read more on Boycott Whole Foods! Or Don’t!…
  rumors on the internets

Whole Foods Weighs In On Health Care Debate, Because Honestly At This Point, Why Not?

Were you at Netroots Nation? Your Wonkette was not invited. But Matt Yglesias was, and he spoke on every panel covering every imaginable topic: Afghanistan, climate change, tax policy, amateur dentistry, LOLcats — everything. [Matt Yglesias] Read more on Whole Foods Weighs In On Health Care Debate, Because Honestly At This Point, Why Not?…
  you can never be too rich too skinny or too dumb

EAT A BAG OF LOW-FAT NUTRIENT-DENSE DICKS, JOHN MACKEY: The CEO of Whole Foods is a big fan of Ayn Rand, did you know that? Which explains why his solution to America’s healthcare crisis is for people to quit being so goddamn lazy and eat more healthy vegetables, which are easily procured for $4.99 a pound at Whole Foods! Meanwhile, a study shows that people on food stamps get fatter because you cannot buy healthy $4.99-a-pound vegetables when you are on food stamps. [Wall Street Journal, Science Daily] Read more on …
 

Happy Hours: Not Just For Booze?

Don’t worry, we’re not asking anyone to reevaluate the presence of alcohol in their life, nor are we insinuating that there are better means to post-work happiness than drinking. Happy hours are essential to the DC way of life and we would never pass judgment on such a meaningful occasion. You have our word. Some grocery stores and shops, however, are noticing the pleasure DCers derive from happy hours, and are using the term to signify evening discounts on their products. Has our beloved activity been co-opted? Read more on Happy Hours: Not Just For Booze?…
 

Metro Section: Isn’t Life Juicy?

* The CVS at the Starburst intersection was robbed, causing an elderly woman to faint. [Frozen Tropics] * Spot the Nazi bus and Eva Braun will poop on your chest. [Mayhem By Miss M] * Best tender breasts aren’t even on the menu anymore. Get in the know. [The DC Concierge] * Shutdown Day 2007. OMGROTFLOL. [The View from Dupont] * New Whole Foods in Fairfax has wine tasting bar, five gourmet restaurants and fashion beers. One of only two “concept” locations. [Go Clipless] Read more on Metro Section: Isn’t Life Juicy?…
 

Gossip Roundup: The Couple That Shops Together

* Inside the Beltway: White House pool report notes the “appropriate droppings” of the Easter Bunny. . . Rep. Rob Simmons (R-Conn.) receives a letter from PETA after choking on meat during a fundraiser. [WT] * Rush & Molloy: Jenna Bush was spotted with boyfriend Henry Hager at the Clarendon Whole Foods on Easter Sunday. [NYDN] Read more on Gossip Roundup: The Couple That Shops Together…
 

Butterstickmail

A helpful operative/Stickhead sent in this snap of Whole Foods jumping on the Butterstick bandwagon: We’re the last ones to complain about appropriating the Stick’s mindbending adorableness for commercial purposes, but: Why such a sad Stick? It’s emotional blackmail! We can sort of hear what he’s saying: “Eat these macaroon before the bad people eat me.” Read more on Butterstickmail…