• SENATE APPROVES GAY HATE CRIMES/WAR BILL: The Senate finally approved after 10 billion years a measure to include gay people and all sorts of wacky gender hybrids under the “hate crimes umbrella,” as part of a massive massive war/death/killing Defense Appropriations bill. Now gays can get married! [NYT]

SELL OUT: What the dickens is this? It’s a piece your male associate editor wrote for Tina Brown’s Internet Tendency (can we still call it that?) about Terry McAuliffe’s insane Virginia governor campaign, fun. It has a vague “structure” and “argument” and simply would not have been appropriate for Wonkette. [Daily Beast]

Your Wonkette does not have much praise to bestow upon the collected letters & columns of Washington Post warbomber Charles Krauthammer, who loves torture more than Dick Cheney does and hates “fairness,” hmm, slightly less than Dick Cheney does? But even Krauthammer’s most virulent ad hominem insult hurlers, on the Internet, usually understand that there is a LINE, there is a LINE when writing about this guy. You should never bring up his, uhhhhhh… well… OH YOU KNOW… the thing. The unfortunate Krauthammer thing?? And *no,* we are not referring to his race (black), about which many jokes can and should be made. MORE »

IMPORTANT SEXYTIME INFORMATION: Okay so a full 10.9 million people plan on attending Wonkette’s Inaugural Ball tomorrow night at the yoga studio of the Washington Times‘ Liz Glover. Hooray! A few people have asked questions. (1) There is no “dress code,” so wear jeans or other common pants, or skirts, and festive tops. (2) We will have a few kegs but all liquor is BYO. (3) If you vomit on the floor then your full name and occupation will be posted on this website. Ha! What fun we shall have! [FACEBOOK EVENT PAGE]

Hey Obama waited until the last minute to pick a surgeon general, the government’s top doctor! SHIT SHIT SHIT who should he pick?? Uh uh uhhhhhh… quick, without even thinking: name a famous real-life teevee doctor! Him? Sure, fine, whatever, he can run America’s doctors. MORE »

At some point in recent Internet history, the Chicago Sun-Times gave its famous film critic Roger Ebert a film blog, to write about film. Well fuck film! Now he just writes hilarious geopolitical rants next to pictures of triangles and octagons, like all bloggers. MORE »

“The McCain campaign is resuming all activities and the senator will travel to the debate this afternoon. Following the debate, he will return to Washington to ensure that all voices and interests are represented in the final agreement, especially those of taxpayers and homeowners.” WHAT’S THE DEAL, WALNUTS!? [Politico]

GAHH obviously this is the winner, OBVIOUSLY, of our contest for the best Blingee based on that one weird Larry King photo. You all could learn from the winner, a Mr. Hans-Jörg Brehm, whose name indicates Mexican heritage of some sort. Hans understood two things that do a good Blingee make: (1) layers upon layers of worthless crap and (2) the word “HOBBIT” lit on fire. So everyone congratulate Hans and his illegal migrant family! Five other finalists, after the jump. You will have many seizures. MORE »