Is this really it? The end of the debates, for this presidential race? It seems like only two years ago that these awful debates began — because that’s how long they’ve been going on, for two years. And now, it comes down to Two Men. One is an increasingly terrifying old lunatic who is probably going to hit the moderator tonight, and blame it on Bill Ayers. Also: Orange Squirrel Furries. This is an official tactic of the RNC today, these Squirrel Furries! The other is … well, we don’t really know anything about him, if he is a “him.” We don’t even know his name, if he has a name. There is literally no way anyone could possibly know anything about this “That One” character, except he is leading by about 107 points tonight, so obviously no matter what he does, we will all nod our heads with dignity and say that he lost. Wait, what? MORE »

This is the first time your editor has really paid attention to those squiggly lines on the CNN independent voter torture graph. Wow! The uncommitted voters of Ohio do not like this John McCain character. The only time we’ve seen a real happy response to McCain was when he was talking very generally (and quite well) about America’s history as a “peacekeeper.” (Ha.) And then he had to snarl and say “this isn’t the time for on-the-job training,” and the male and female lines went down like the stock market. What does it mean? MORE »

For a line so carefully scripted, it sure flopped. Ha ha, she said “xerox” instead of a hopeful word! Whole exchange after the jump.

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Rep. John Lewis will announce today that he’s bailing on Hillary and will vote for Obama at the DNC convention, according to the New York Times. Why? Because he represents Atlanta and Atlanta voted 3:1 for Barack. BUT WAIT: Hillary’s campaign says the NYT lies! And John Lewis is not exactly a random congressman — if he jumps ship, it will suddenly be okay for a whole lot more congressional Democrats to do the same. Meanwhile, fellow Georgia Congressman David Scott is supposedly switching to Obama, too. [NYT/CBS/WP/AJC]

WHO WILL WIN?! Nobody knows what the hell’s going on in South Carolina — McCain’s still up at 36%, but Huckabee’s clawing back with 28%, with 21% of precincts reporting — so we’re taking this opportunity to go have some nice sushi at the casino restaurant.

It is almost time, fellow citizens and concerned foreigners. In just a few hours, the very first results will be in from the very first attempt at actual voting in this long, terrible 2008 election season. Jim Newell and Liz Glover will continue freezing and taking Polaroids and avoiding the angry Paulian mobs. Here at Wonkette World Headquarters in the Second Life WTC, our team of analysts will be typing very quickly and just sort of guessing stuff, just like Chris Matthews, but you don’t have to look at our big pink heads. Go stock up at Ye Olde Liquor Marte and we’ll see you back at the computer at 8 p.m. sharp. (They end the voting at 8 p.m., is that right?)