• BARACK OBAMA HAS NO VALID EXCUSE FOR SPEAKING AT THIS COLLEGE: So the right has been saying that the President of the United States, Obama, should not speak at the famous college Notre Dame because he is pro-choice, and now the left — or at least a few wily provocateurs at The American Prospect! — says that he should not speak at the famous college Notre Dame because “a progressive president shouldn’t support an institution that reserves 25 percent of its admissions seats for legacies.” Huh. Hmm… uhhhh… eh. SO, Notre Dame, you say? That’s the one with the football team, right? [The American Prospect]

You know why we have not written about this too much? Because number one, who gives a flying fuck what Miss California thinks about political “things.” And number two, any beauty pageant contestant who doesn’t have a boatload of topless photos in her closet is just not trying hard enough. Anyway Donald Trump, the owner of the Miss USA and the world’s wealthiest muskrat, determined that Carrie Prejean’s hawt pre-boob-job photos did not diminish her ability to attend ribbon-cuttings at county fairs and other important Miss California-related events. It is a sad day when Donald Trump is the sanest man on television. [USA Today]

Now that teevee actor Sanjay Gupta has officially turned down the unwanted Commerce Department job of “surgeon general,” some people at the White House are saying, “Hey, what’s that other guy who was a doctor and had something or other to do with the Democrats? Why not him?” MORE »

Here are two things we are very tired of typing about, every day: Will teevee’s Chris Matthews run for the American Senate? And, Did dancey boy David Gregory officially get dead Tim Russert’s job on Meet the Press? The final (?) answers: No he won’t, and Yes he did. [Gawker/Baltimore Sun]

Last week, we reported that the candidates were basically blowing off Rhode Island and people got, like, mad and stuff. Well, the deadline to qualify was yesterday and, assuming signatures are verified for the rest, the following candidates aren’t likely to appear on the ballot: Biden, Hunter, Keyes, Kucinich, Richardson, Thompson and John Edwards. Apparently, I’m not the only one who thinks Rhode Island can suck it. [Rhode Island Office of the Secretary of State]

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While the other states jockeyed over the timing of their primaries, Rhode Island passed a little-noticed law that requires every primary candidate gather 1,000 signatures by December 26th to appear on the ballot. Given how small the state is, that’s apparently a really big problem because only 3 of the 1,500 candidates for President have managed to overcome that hurdle. If some people don’t get their asses into shape, Rudy will be the only Republican and the battle for the Dem nod will actually, literally, come down to Hillary or Obama. Oh, whatever, who gives a shit about Rhode Island anyway? They probably have, like, negative electoral votes. [Providence Journal]