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Posts Tagged ‘white house’

EXCLUSIVE GUEST LISTS

Meet All Of Obama’s Secret Friends And Playdates!

Friday, September 4th, 2009

Awhile ago Barack Obama decided he was going to be America’s first Transparent President. This was fine because of how benign it was, for him to claim that. Like, sure! Anyway, then in June, things became ILLEGALLY OPAQUE when Obama announced that he, like Bush, would not be releasing the White House visitor log. Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington didn’t think this deliberate withholding of information was so transparent at all actually, so they sued Obama, demanding he better start living up to the “Most Transparent” superlative that was awarded to him in good faith by the all the seniors on yearbook committee. Of course CREW did not win its lawsuit (obviously), but now Obama is releasing the White House visitors’ logs anyway. MORE »


GANG OF SADNESS

Robert Gibbs And The White House Simply Do Not Care For Mike Enzi Anymore

Monday, August 31st, 2009

Terrible Sen. Mike Enzi, Chuck Grassley’s second-in-command for reaching a bipartisan health care bill, wants to reform health care in much the same way that his superior does: by killing health care reform completely. This does not portend well for the Gang of Six! Even White House meanie Robert Gibbs admitted today that Enzi, whom Obama once praised for his good-faith negotiating efforts during a primetime press conference, has thrown his wiener in the cogs of progress one too many times now and should proceed to piss off. [TPM]


SUMMER OF CELEBRITY DEATH

Ted & Barry On the Flickr

Friday, August 28th, 2009

Hey don't bring POLITICS into this!
The official White House Flickr photo-porn stream has crassly brought POLITICS into the death of famous politician Ted Kennedy, by posting a set of pictures titled, “Remembering Senator Kennedy.” Yeah, more like “Remembering the Politician Ted Kennedy, instead of the apolitical national mascot we all loved as our own sort of Col. Sanders or whatever.” God, these Obamas …. [White House Flickr]


SELLING OUT

Lame White House Abandons ‘Enemies List’

Monday, August 17th, 2009

The Politico has been goin’ around the Internet telling people that America’s beloved Enemies List, where you could sign up your friends for free torture sessions in Bagram — the greatest birthday gift of all — is dead. Your Wonkette has verified this. There is now some website called “Reality Check,” which is just Andrew Sullivan’s blog. First the pubic option, now the Enemies List… by tomorrow morning, he’ll have repealed the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act. [Politico]


FIRST HE'LL DELETE A BUNCH OF FACEBOOK 'FRIENDS'

What Will Barack Obama Do On His ‘Computer Night’?

Saturday, August 15th, 2009

'Motherfucker, what do you mean there's no server found for 'Wonkett'?'
Barack’s got the ‘puter all to himself! What will he do? Order pizza? Play some sort of online fighting game? Leave more hilarious comments on RonPaulForums.com? Check out his fancy Chicago ‘hood on Zillow to see how much his neighbors’ houses have dropped in value? Hack Twitter again just because Twitter is so lame? That’s right, it’s the late-night weekend Wonkette Caption Contest! [White House Flickr]


LAZY SUMMER

White House Photographer Not Even Trying

Friday, August 7th, 2009


Okay, famous White House photographer Pete Souza, we realize it’s August and nobody wants to work at all and there’s nothing very news-y happening and everybody’s on vacation WE GET IT, fine, but we’re still sort of working and you are still supposed to be working, yet there is one (1) White House photo added to the Official Presidential Flickr for the entire week, and it is lame. MORE »


HOT NEW INTERNET FUN THINGS

Sell Out Your Friends And Lovers To The White House ‘Enemies List’

Thursday, August 6th, 2009

Here’s a rapid response Astroturfing e-mail your editors received this afternoon from a PR assistant named “Kevin McVicker.” Kevin writes, “Citizens for the Republic, a national grassroots organization, is responding to the Whitehouse’s heavy handed tactic of trying to compile information on those that are critical of the President’s healthcare plan. This is a vital free speech issue. Please contact me to arrange an interview with one of our spokesmen.” As we alluded to in the earlier post about that slobbery fart-bag Fred Thompson’s Twitter, this notion of the “enemies list” has become the hot new well-funded wingnut con-job from Republican operatives over the last 24 hours. Use it or lose it! MORE »


AT LEAST HE WASN'T USING TWITTER

Sunday, July 5th, 2009

Born on the Fourth of July ... but where's the BIRTH CERTIFICATE?
OKAY THAT’S A LITTLE FANCIER THAN OUR FOURTH: “President Barack Obama took his own advice Saturday, relaxing on the Fourth of July with some golf, a cookout and a private Foo Fighters concert in the backyard, capped by the annual fireworks show on the National Mall.” [Baltimore Sun/Flickr]


NOT I SAID THE DUCK

Obama Now Being Annoyed With Duck Sounds

Tuesday, June 30th, 2009


The last time a cell phone rang during a White House press conference, Robert Gibbs just took that damned device and gave it to the CIA, for torture. But Barack Obama is too cool for that. He just looks disappointed, with America, and then jokes about how pathetic the White House correspondents are, to be downloading duck ringtones. Oh and this is some kind of talk to the gays? [Gawker/YouTube]


SMOKE BREAK AT THE SWING SET

Work-at-Home Obama Just Goofing Off With His Kids All Day

Thursday, June 25th, 2009

J'ai perdu femme et enfants.
While Republican dads dump their unwanted wives and unloved children at a vacation home somewhere and then fly to Argentina on the taxpayer’s dime to tearfully commit adultery for years, Democratic wonder-dad Barack Obama continues to outrage the family-hating wingnut blogosphere by keeping various “promises” made to his “happy” children, such as “I’ll get you a hypoallergenic dog carefully bred by Portuguese robot-monks” and “I’ll build you the fanciest backyard swing set ever, and it won’t look anything like those tacky day-glo molded plastic travesties most kids are stuck with, if they’re lucky enough to have a playset at all.” [White House Flickr]


LOVE IS A DOG FROM HELL

White House Beast Only Eats Tomatoes, Toys

Friday, June 19th, 2009

Collect all one!
Ted Kennedy’s gift horse Texan Water Monster, “Bo Hussein Obama,” now has his own crappy print-and-save “baseball card” from the White House, hooray for civil rights! Just, uh, print it out at work — don’t let Liz Becton catch you! — and, oh we don’t know just probably throw it away. Bo loves tomatoes and brylcreem and long walks on the lawn with what’s his name. [Flickr]