December 6, 2013
Lest anyone get the idea that the Daily Caller is just a teensy bit racist, they would like you to know that they actually care more about Factual History than certain Presidents of the United States do. For instance, did you know that the Daily Caller’s Neil Munro is very protective of the legacy and [...]
Oh that is nice, President B. Barry Bamz is making empty gestures of politeness and civility at what’s his name, Loser Guy, and having him over to the White House for lunch. This is very big news, today, when the only other news is John McCain is still trying to make “Benghazi” a thing. But [...]
Well this is much better! Tampa nonsense queen Jill Kelley and her evil twin visited the White House three times this year, an administration official told AP. Obviously, this means President Barack Obama has been boning both of them, in the SitRoom, while eating popcorn and laughing while watching Christopher Stevens die. He did this [...]
Well, Wonketteers, we bring you some very depressing news: the petition for “all everyone to punch Grover Norquist in the dick” has been removed from We The People, the White House’s platform for direct democracy. This saddens us greatly for reasons that should be pretty obvious, do we really need to go into it because [...]
You know the type. Maybe you are this type? Let’s keep it quiet, if so. The type we’re describing: The person who’s always trying to get you to sample the craft beer he (it is usually a “he”) brewed in his home. “You have got to try this beer I made.” “Ehh, just let me [...]
Well, Ol’ Barry Obama went out to the Rose Garden to speechify his new plan to kill all white children and let Mexican children have their homes, and then this guy, Neil Munro of Tucker Carlson’s treasured Daily Caller, interrupts him to start babbling something. Obama hates this person but responds anyway. Now people are [...]
Did we all have a good time watching Dubya make some funneez at the White House today? It was pretty good! He was all like, haha, you know and I know and everybody knows that I was pretty much the worst at being the preznit, for reals, hilares, just Mr. Jokey Jokey about what a [...]
And this is a painting of George W. Bush, as unveiled at a White House ceremony that just wrapped up. Look at ‘im. He’s like, “Boy howdy don’t I look good, hummina hummina.” And no, it wasn’t “awkward,” this ceremony. Some folks have suggested that the atmosphere might be uncomfortable since Barack Obama has been [...]
As promised, our First Lady Michelle Obama has published her first book. It is a book about gardening, and if “The Help” is any indication, it is sure to be a bestseller, because isn’t it probably the same thing, except with Mexicans? Apparently, no! “Michelle’s Secret Garden,” as we like to call it, or “American [...]
What is funnier than a typographical error on the front page of the N Y Times Dot Com, the Tumblr of Record? It’s great, because they’re like, “Hey, we’re the New York Times, we’re the best, feed me caviar,” and then they screw up and everyone chuckles for two seconds. Today they posted a TimesCast [...]
Presidential tax returns for the Obamas and Bidens have been posted online, oh boy. Let’s see, did they make above the median income… yes they did, so: BOO! Jerks. Let’s steal their nice clothes and give them to kitties.
Have you seen that show on the E! television network featuring a bunch of whiny girls whose names all start with the letter “K” and their [step]father, played by a melted-down Ken doll? It is the “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” show, and somehow, it is one of the most highly rated reality television programs [...]
Look what he’s done now.
Hippies, or should we say “people affected and insulted by the total lack of accountability in the global economic system following its collapse a few years ago,” were all excited about the upcoming G8 Summit of first-world leaders set to take place in Chicago this May. What a great opportunity to yell at terrible people, [...]
One little bit of Al Green and now everybody expects the president to sing America’s blues and soul classics. Well, why not? Thomas Jefferson loved to sing, and so did Richard Nixon. Look at old Mick Jagger hand the microphone to the president, after the R&B legends all insist the president take a verse of [...]