All us crybaby liberals are all crying, “Oh no Barack Obama isn’t being liberal enough about everything, even though he is supposed to be black.” Well now we know the rest of the story: This big old cauliflower brain in the White House is not-so-secretly running everything. And you know what color cauliflower is …. [White House Flickr]

In today’s edition of “Things That Are Impossible To Overstate, According To The News Media,” we return to that years-old question of whether Barack Obama either modestly dislikes women, or hates every single woman’s fucking guts. This was a hot topic last year when Barack Obama defeated a woman in a presidential primary, a heinous display of chauvinism. Why not crap on Susan B. Anthony’s grave and punch Lucretia Mott in the boob, while you’re at it? And now Obama has done something far worse: played various sports with coteries of men, instead of women. This is the very definition of being “pro-life.” MORE »

Today’s big story from local acid rain compound Politico: the U.S. Chamber of Commerce declares itself immune to attacks from the liberal Apple Company and its “White House.” And just when we were expecting CoC President Tom Donohue to declare “We are not worthy” and close his shop down permanently! MORE »

• TODAY IN HEALTH CARE GOSSIP: This just reeks of Rahm Emanuel’s farts: “Multiple sources tell TPMDC that Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is very close to rounding up 60 members in support of a public option with an opt out clause, and are continuing to push skeptical members. But they also say that the White House is pushing back against the idea, in a bid to retain the support of Sen. Olympia Snowe (R-ME).” Here we will offer a rare moment of positive reinforcement: GO HARRY REID. [TPM]

This is absolutely amazing, watching Karl Rove pretend to be so upset about the Obama administration “demeaning… the White House” and “engaging in its own version of the media enemies list,” by criticizing Fox News, the network on which he’s speaking. (Why is Terry McAuliffe there? To lose another Virginia election?) We all remember how George Bush, when he would give his one interview every seven years, would always speak to PBS or The Guardian, and not just Fox News. Karl Rove is FURIOUS! [YouTube]

The secret White House advisor (RAHMBO?) who upset Andrew Sullivan and other members of the “Internet left fringe” so greatly by telling them to wear real pants instead of pajamas, guess what his or her sentiment doesn’t represent? “That sentiment does not reflect White House thinking at all,” according to White House deputy communications director Dan Pfeiffer, “we’ve held easily a dozen calls with the progressive online community because we believe the online communities can often keep the focus on how policy will affect the American people rather than just the political back-and-forth.” Oooh, “phone calls.” “A dozen calls.” Has anyone ever not worn pajamas to talk on the telephone? [Greg Sargent]

Earlier today Republican strange person Michael Steele joined his fellow party dingbats to yell at Obama for traveling to King Hamlet’s Court in Elsinore to argue for Chicago’s 2016 Olympic bid. It is Not Presidential. We have no opinion about this, but man, watch Robert Gibbs respond with his trademark dry sarcasm here! Are many people capable of saying “Madrid” with such an icy-death quality? [YouTube]

Hooray, it’s time to indoctrinate the school children at the government-run anti-choice public school-prisons. But how will we best teach these weak lumps of young shit how to be Nazi-Socialists for the Black Panthers? WITH THE TEEVEE, obvs. And that’s why the no-good Hawaiian-Chicago street hustler, Barry Nobama, will speak to the childrens on the closed circuit today, old school, and of course oh good gravy there are some WHITE folks who heard about this, and they are not so happy about a common African Slave telling kids to “stay in school.” Look what happens when black kids stay in school and go to Harvard and all that …. BLAM, black dude is president. Not good. MORE »

Awhile ago Barack Obama decided he was going to be America’s first Transparent President. This was fine because of how benign it was, for him to claim that. Like, sure! Anyway, then in June, things became ILLEGALLY OPAQUE when Obama announced that he, like Bush, would not be releasing the White House visitor log. Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington didn’t think this deliberate withholding of information was so transparent at all actually, so they sued Obama, demanding he better start living up to the “Most Transparent” superlative that was awarded to him in good faith by the all the seniors on yearbook committee. Of course CREW did not win its lawsuit (obviously), but now Obama is releasing the White House visitors’ logs anyway. MORE »

Terrible Sen. Mike Enzi, Chuck Grassley’s second-in-command for reaching a bipartisan health care bill, wants to reform health care in much the same way that his superior does: by killing health care reform completely. This does not portend well for the Gang of Six! Even White House meanie Robert Gibbs admitted today that Enzi, whom Obama once praised for his good-faith negotiating efforts during a primetime press conference, has thrown his wiener in the cogs of progress one too many times now and should proceed to piss off. [TPM]

The official White House Flickr photo-porn stream has crassly brought POLITICS into the death of famous politician Ted Kennedy, by posting a set of pictures titled, “Remembering Senator Kennedy.” Yeah, more like “Remembering the Politician Ted Kennedy, instead of the apolitical national mascot we all loved as our own sort of Col. Sanders or whatever.” God, these Obamas …. [White House Flickr]