Here’s a comical highlight reel of new White House press secretary Robert Gibbs’ first briefing, compiled by Fishbowl DC. The White House press corps, perhaps the most frustrated group of reporters, anywhere, only get a “virgin” every few years, so they were hoping to extract as much off-the-cuff, out-of-context quote action as possible before Gibbs realized how much they all sucked and that he should ignore them entirely, forever. This only led to an onslaught of white noise, however, and we do not know why anyone would ever accept the position of White House press secretary. Speaking of which, what’s Dana up to these days? [Fishbowl DC]

There are so many events at the White House. Why, just the other day a local high-school band played for the First Lady. And WTOP political commentator Mark Plotkin was on the scene! He asked Laura Bush a weird question and was promptly escorted away from the White House, which he was already leaving, or something. See if you can make any sense of it. MORE »

Examiner White House correspondent Bill Sammon, in an interview with Hugh Hewitt: MORE »

So what the hell happened in Tokyo this morning? Some of your ideas: MORE »

Dick Cheney is flying around the Pacific calling for more war forever and ever with everyone everywhere this week, and your hard-working press corps is with him every step of the way. Here’s a snippet from this morning’s Mark Silva pool report: MORE »

From yesterday’s (apparently hysterical) press briefing: MORE »

Oh, honestly, Tony… MORE »

The Hadley Memo revealed that some people in the White House consider Iraqi Prime Minister Maliki useless at best and actively damaging to our effort at worst. So, naturally, reporters were very excited about the three-way dinner and meeting (or “trilateral,” in tool-speak) scheduled for tonight with Bush, Maliki, and the King of Jordan. Then Dan Bartlett broke everyone’s heart by announcing that, for no particular reason, Maliki would not be meeting with Bush nor even eating with them.

This was a bit confusing to the assembled press.

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Earlier today, White House Press Secretary Tony Snow and Counselor to the President Dan Bartlett held a briefing (in lovely Riga, Latvia) to the assembled press. But those pesky journalists just wanted to talk about Stephen J. Hadley’s “we can’t trust Maliki” memo. Snow and Bartlett simply couldn’t comment on that…

…but White House Press Secretary Tony Snow and Counselor to the President Dan Bartlett two Unnamed Senior Administration Officials could!

Revel in the utter absurdity of the White House beat, after the jump.

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• Yeas and Nays: In Tony Snow’s first four months as White House press secretary, there have been 300 more instances of “laughter” in briefing transcripts than in Scott McClellan’s first four months. [Examiner]
• Reliable Source: The Chris Matthews Show, which has been on for four years, celebrated “five great seasons” at a party last night. [WP]
• Page Six: A documentary is coming out about The Dixie Chicks, Page Six takes the opportunity to quote FreeRepublic commenters for god knows what reason. [NYP (last item)]

Any excuse to use this graphic again. MORE »

Today’s courtesy Jim Gerstenzang of the Los Angeles Times:

Pool Report #1
Bike Ride?
Aug. 25

For approximately an hour and a half, the president apparently did whatever he does in the woods. We did not see him; we saw only circumstantial evidence that his activity involved biking. (While the pool waited on the road at Walker’s Point, someone carried a bike rack up the driveway). We were told, however, that the activity took place in the Massabesic Experimental Forest, situated, a local resident said, in Lyman and Alfred, Maine. (Emphasis added.)

And, uh, as we always say, there’s no better place for… that… than an “Experimental Forest.”

The obvious jokes are too obvious. Fill ‘em in yourselves in the comments if you need to.

Full report after the jump.

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FishbowlDC’s Patrick Gavin took a trip to the White House Press Corp’s new temporary digs across the street from the White House. What he found may shock you. MORE »