CNN’s beloved Ed Henry shares this picture from today’s White House Press Briefing, where everyone is just watching teevee. Those lazy slugs! It’s a beautiful day outside, and everyone should go play on Sasha and Malia’s swing set. CORRECTION: It’s a beautiful day outside, and everyone should go play Xbox on Sasha and Malia’s swing set. (Is it actually a beautiful day? We just read about it on the Internet.) [TwitPic]

The most challenging investigative task a prominent Washington journalist could ever face in his or her career is to cover the White House Pool Report beat, where our greatest reporters take turns following the President during off-hours — just in case anything like a sex affair or juicy “gaffe” happens — and then share the vital journalism information with each other for common use. (This is a form of Communism.) The rotation has traditionally been composed of reporters from the Washington bureaus of the top 30-ish newspapers and magazines, and the average fare usually features three or four muckraking sentences about how a deputy press secretary made a funny joke about another reporter who every reporter knows to have a wacky reputation for the exact thing the deputy press secretary made a joke about… oh you wouldn’t get it, ha ha ha. But this is all over now, due to the recent addition of two left-wing bloggers into the rotation. MORE »

Here is a clip from today’s White House press briefing, in which the hairiest man alive grills Robert Gibbs: what do you think your perception of the perception of the political perception of current political politics will be if political things happen for Democrats or Republicans in the political governors’ races in Virginia and New Jersey? Will Obama ultimately win or lose today in the politicals of political off-year politics but then something something 2010 win lose draw? Is Obama’s a failed presidency because of stuff? [YouTube]

Uh oh, Nobama has been gettin’ the business ever since he said those Cambridge Coppers acted STUPIDLY when they arrested the black guy in his house, for yelling. So here he is offering his unique Obamapology at today’s White House Press Briefing, saying he could have “calibrated those words differently.” Okay! Huh? It was definitely rather sloppy and STUPID of him to get involved in the case like that. Why even bother reforming health care, after this comment? [YouTube]

At Tuesday’s Obama Press Conference, CBS’ Chip Reid wanted Obama to admit that Lindsey Graham and John McCain were finally knocking some sense into his weak skull about how he needed to yell at/bomb Iran some more. America aids its friends of course! And even though Obama only kicked up his rhetoric a half-degree or so on Tuesday, Ahmadinejad was very quick to condemn America’s meddling. So today all Chip Reid wanted to know was why this idiot Obama would speak so recklessly about Iran’s internal politics — doesn’t he know anything about international relations?? [YouTube]

Here we have excerpted the traditional “red meat” portion of a Barack Obama press conference, in which we hear from all three network news correspondents, consecutively. Why does Obama cave to John McCain and Lindsey Graham and hate Iranian people and lie about other things such as health and money care? Health care and money? Health care and money care and Iran and John McCain and queers? MORE »

Iran is on the cusp of something — who knows what, but everyone’s sure! — and health care reform is free-falling towards a centrist compromise to give the uninsured thirteen cents and a get-well-soon card, but here’s the pressing issue for the White House, if we are to believe Fox News’ Major Garrett and some other lady asking a follow-up: why haven’t you picked your new family church yet? It was a CAMPAIGN PLEDGE. [YouTube]

CBS White House correspondent Chip Reid, who famously loves Dick Cheney so much, brought a very important News Question to today’s briefing with Robert Gibbs: hey Gibbs, you seen this racism deal on Newt Gingrich’s “blog,” you know, the thing he wrote on his blog about the racist Supreme Court? (He is referring to the web-based application Twitter.) Gibbs says no, who cares about Newt Gingrich’s mobile phone blog. [YouTube]

Here’s your perfunctory White House Press Briefing clip of Robert Gibbs explaining the YouTube, how it works an’ all that, to the important journalistic reporters. But why is the Maria lady on these YouTubes telling White America that it is the appellate judge’s role to import cocaine and abort teenagers? You decide. [YouTube]

Here is your Robert Gibbs trying to explain to the gotcha media that when Joe Biden said “Anyone in America who goes into any sort of enclosed space will die like hotcakes,” he really meant, “God bless the troops,” because nobody messes with that Joe. (?). This does not satisfy America’s top newsman, Jake Tapper, and everyone laughs at nothing. [Ben Smith]

It is the end of the 100 days, at some point soon! We do not know the exact day because January 20 + 100 = January 120?? (SOMEONE ASK NATE SILVER.) So the next week will be a crucial time for the Media to reflect on what has been accomplished in this arbitrary time period, for no reason, except that apparently new presidents are not allowed to do anything important when it ends. Let’s see how the White House Press Corps is reflecting about itself and its rare opportunity to ask the president’s top spokesman direct questions about anything, every day. MORE »

HERE’S A FUN PRESS CORPS GAME CALLED “STEAL POLITICO’S SEAT!” We rather like the anecdotes in this FiveThirtyEight post about how oppressed bloggers are always trying to steal Politico’s seat at White House press briefings, only to be caught minutes later by confused Politico reporters. This could be a fun daily game! So we ask that reporters take turns stealing Politico’s seat — one day Sam Stein does it, the next day David Corn, etc. — and e-mail us the name of Politico reporter who awkwardly kicked you out, and what it was like. [FiveThirtyEight]

Aww, Chuck Todd accepted the most frustrating job in media — White House correspondent — only to discover that it is the most frustrating job in media: “Obviously, I’m one of the newbies here in the White House press corps so maybe I’m unfamiliar with the ways of how this place works. I have to say, nothing is more frustrating than covering an an actual event here at the White House if you at all believe in anything remotely having to do with the First Amendment.” Usually this type of article — “Employed journalists covering the presidency whine about how much trouble they have getting information” — causes migraines, but Chuck Todd’s such a nice guy, and we’re sorry that he has such a sad. Why won’t the White House be nice to Chuck Todd? [First Read]