Tag: white house

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Sean Hannity Buys Art Masterpiece For Donald Trump, Just As Classy As Anything Else Trump Owns

Maybe the Trump Foundation's portraits of Donald can be collected at the White House, too!
Sure it's poison. But think of the savings!

Paul Ryan Voice Of Reason On Shutting Down Government This One Time

Flint, Michigan's poisoned water system may be replaced before the heat death of the universe.

Middle Class Better Off Than It’s Been Since Bush’s Financial Crisis, THANKS OBAMA

We got all your SEXXXY ECONOMIC NEWS right here!
American Icon

Bill O’Reilly: Slaves Who Built White House Had It GREAT!

Also, they were helped by some white dudes who did get paid.
History's Greatest Monster, 2016 Edition

Fox News SHOCKER: Hillary Clinton Beat Bill Like An Egg-Stealing Hound

Fox News, America's most reliable and trusted cable news outlet, has been muddling around for years now, trying to find some dirt on Hillary Clinton that will really stick. Benghazi, excuse us, BENGHAZHI!!1!, has turned out to be a bust. The...
Could we borrow a little of that Ebola panic?

House GOP Knows What’s Worse Than Deformed Zika Virus Babies, And It Is Planned Parenthood

The GOP can't be bothered to save the Zika babies, because they're too busy saving the babies from Planned Parenthood! Wait, what?

Is Lindsey Graham Falling For Donald Trump In Spite Of Himself?

Lindsey Graham is now reportedly asking Republican donors to get behind Trump.

Derp Roundup: Andrea Tantaros Does Bondage!

Time for another quick check-in with stories what were clogging up our browser tabs all week but we couldn't quite bring ourselves to do a full post on, but which were too wonderfully stoopit to ignore altogether. Also a...
Now Kissinger -- he's my Jew.

The Time Merle Haggard Played The Nixon White House, Even Though He Was A Felon

Country music legend Merle Haggard died Wednesday on his 79th birthday, but did you know that it was once Very Controversial when he performed for Pat Nixon's birthday party at the White House on March 17, 1973? Not merely...
Seriously, Dad, stop saying you're 'verklempt.'

Let’s Cluck Like Proud Grandparents At Lovely Young Ladies Sasha And Malia Obama

While we could never hope to equal the visual and narrative grandeur of Evan's brilliant Barack Obama/Justin Trudeau slashfic (are you one of the four people on the internet who hasn't read it yet? What's wrong with you? Go...

World’s Sexiest North American Leaders Break Entire Internet, With Sexiness

Oh. My. God. Becky. Did you SEE how sexxxpot Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is visiting Barry Bamz Also The Sexpot Obama at the White House of U.S. America? Did you immediately faint as you witnessed what Canadian-American relations could...
Toxic Sludge is Good for You!

Obama Declares A State Of Disgusting In Flint’s Poisoned Water

After the state mismanaged the water crisis in Flint, Michigan, about as terribly as humanly possible, Gov. Rick Snyder finally got his typewriter and stamps together and requested emergency assistance from the federal government. On Saturday, President Obama declared...

Carly Fiorina Thinks It’s ‘Odd’ Ted Cruz Only Just Started Loving America

After approximately 79 years and 79 shazillion investigations into whether Barack Obama is a United States citizen (he is), or Hawaii is a foreign country (it is not), or whether black people can even be president (obviously, duh, TWICE), we...
Not nearly as stupid as everything he says

Ann Coulter Says Canadian Anchor Baby Ted Cruz Only Fit To Be President Of Cuba

Now that the "precarious" issue of Ted Cruz's citizenship is fair game -- and shut up, yes it is -- now is also the time for all good men, plus Ann Coulter, to come to the aid of their country...

President Obama Cries Like A Drunk Ex-Speaker Over Dead Kids, What A Pussy

It's National Gun-Grabbin' Day, with President Obama finally -- finally! -- delivering the tyranny we've all been waiting for. During his speech at the White House (so typical of him, acting like he's got a right to sully the White House with...