white house

Welcome to another edition of Derp Roundup, the weekly feature where we scrape the dumbest possible news leftovers off our overheated browser tabs, blend them into an almost-digestible slurry, and serve them up to you with a muffin and a warning to imbibe heavily. Our Prime Derp this week is actually not so much the […]

French President Francois Hollande visited les Etats-Unis flying solo, but the White House solved its State Dinner protocol problem: with no presidential spouse to seat next to Michelle Obama, they gave the spot to Stephen Colbert, who gracefully proclaimed himself First Lady of France. Hope some White House staffer gets a promotion for that. On […]

Time’s Zeke Miller tweetered this adorbs little photo from June as part of a year-end skim of the White House Flickr stream. Photographer Pete Souza’s note: “The President called me over to pose for a photo with a young boy who had fallen asleep during the Father’s Day ice cream social in the State Dining […]

So last week we told you how Darrell Issa was being a total dickhole, which is only natural for one who has been projectile vomited from the dark depths of Satan’s nether-regions. Well, Issa followed through on his threat to subpoena Todd Park, the chief IT guy at the White House who is feverishly working […]

Gay Barack Obama, who is definitely and 1000 percent totally gay, is going to make the Black House White House pink tonight, because of how he is really absolutely supergay. Tourists may do a double take when they pass by the White House on Thursday. That’s because, for one evening, the Pennsylvania Avenue side of […]

Amid the other atrocities occurring as a result of the gummint shutdown, count the White House vegetable garden a casualty. Politico reports on a story by food blogger Eddie Gehman Kohan, who reviews the damage: “The vegetables filling the 1,500 square-foot plot are now rotting away on the vines and in the boxed beds, thanks […]

Welcome to another edition of Derp Roundup, that weekly big ball of wadded-up idiocy from our inbox that was too stoopid to ignore altogether, but that didn’t quite merit a full-length Wonket post. Up first, a quick visit to that land of fiscal restraint, North Carolina, where Gov. Pat McCrory presided over a 2013 legislative […]

Welcome to a Gummint Shutdown Edition of the Derp Roundup, your weekly accumulation of asinine asshattery from the aether that was too stoopid to ignore completely but that we weren’t inclined to waste a full-length post on. To start off, let’s do a little bit of mythbusting! We caught Tucker Carlson’s Home for Lying Liars […]

The good folks at Michelle Malkin’s Home for Aggrieved Aggregators have made a shocking discovery! House Republicans did not shut down the park service, and in particular did not shut down the World War II Memorial on the National Mall. Turns out the orders to shut out WWII vets came directly from Barack Obama himself! […]

Oh noes, a White House guy said about the Republicans that you don’t negotiate with people with bombs strapped to their chests, and the Republicans are Having Sad! We agree! Just because John Boehner is demanding that Mitt Romney’s entire economic agenda be implemented in order for the Republicans to even consider allowing us to […]

“Senator Ted Cruz, who recently discovered that he is likely a Canadian, must win security clearance from Canada’s spy agency, fill in a four-page form and then wait up to eight months to sever his ties to America’s northern neighbor…. “A person giving up citizenship must be Canadian, prove they are or will become a […]

Here is your new White House puppy, America. Her name is Sunny, and like Bo, she is a Portuguese water dog. The Daily Caller has pointed out that she was “born in 2012 in Michigan, where the unemployment rate was 8.8 percent last month.” In a very funny joke, the Daily Caller adds, “The Obamas […]

Director Lee Daniels has a new movie coming out in a couple weeks, and in addition to the excellent news that it will have a considerably shorter title than his last one, we also learn from Politico today that it had the power to make Barbara Bush cry. After getting a fan email from the […]

Here is a funny thing! Last week we got a hilarious tip on a bunch of balderdash emanating from the Free Republic, from whom is lost in the mists of time, so we will say “from VodkaGoGo,” about how OMG “Barry Soetoro” is registered to vote at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, because Barack Obama is the […]

Hey ladies. Were your ovaries a little too unexploded? Do you hate walking around with your parts all intact? Well, here is Barack Obama putting a baby in you, with voodoo, even though you don’t have ovaries anymore because of how he just broke them. Now you have your own black, Asian (?) Obama baby, […]