Wonkette

* Heard on the Hill: Susan Collins partied enough at the WHCD to cover for all the absentee members… Spitzer and Bloomberg get $26 haircuts at the same barber. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: Sheryl Crow and Larry and Laurie David all went to Charlie Palmer’s on Sunday… Carl Bernstein’s Hillary book is due soon. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Remember ‘The Right Brothers’? The “conservative” “rock” “band” that was funny on the internet a couple months back? Yeah? Well, how ’bout them, right? … Trent Lott perhaps not as interested in the arts as you thought. [Examiner]
* Under the Dome: Someone is challenging cocaine enthusiast Robert Wexler… Tort reformer John Sullivan had his lawsuit thrown out. [The Hill]
* Shenanigans: Senator Lisa Murkowski’s office full of internet-browding iPod-listening slackers… People said things at parties last weekend. [Politico]

Julia Allison and Henry Kissinger, the two poles of Washington reprehensibility (even though they both actually live in New York — it’s a crazy night, folks). — Photo courtesy HuffPo

Was the White House Correspondents’ Dinner the worst party we’ve ever gone to? No, probably not — we’ve gone to more than one Capitol File party, after all. But if we’d spent our Saturday night staying home, ordering a pizza, getting wasted, and watching Arrested Development episodes, would we have had a better time? Yes. And more material, probably.

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So did everyone else have a good time at the party? Huh? MORE »

Here, at long last, are your pictures from the White House Correspondents’ dinner. Thrill to Newt Gingrich, Morgan Fairchild, Michael Bloomberg, Eliot Spitzer, Mitt Romney, Tim Gunn, and the usual gang of idiots who are at this shitshow every year. MORE »

Previously: How to Sneak Into Bloomberg

Vanity Fair has come crawling back to DC. After an eight year absence, they’re once again throwing a White House Correspondents Association dinner afterparty. And, like in the olden days, it is to be held at Chris Hitchens’ alcohol-infused, highly-flammable house. MORE »

* Reliable Source: Everyone skipped work and went to the Nats opener yesterday, except you, sucker. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Yoko Ono said some stuff about peace, cherry blossoms, etc… Tammy Haddad is having her 10th-annual pre-WHCD brunch. [Examiner]
* Under the Dome: [The Hill]
* Shenanigans: “Ron Kaufman - the Chairman of Dutko Worldwide and a top Mitt Romney advisor” — forced by rowdy Nats crowd to kiss some poor woman for their amusement… PETA writes Karl Rove a sarcastic letter about how bad his animal-killing joke bombed… The damn WHCD coverage and previewing is here. [Politico]
* Page Six: Sheryl Crow showed up to Dick Durbin’s office wearing an elephant. [NYP]

* CIA Director Porter Goss called it quits this week, and didn’t make up a reason for leaving. Not even the standard “time with my family” excuse, which of course makes us think it had something to do with the hookers or the gambling and payola. Anyway, he’s back on the gulf shore already, and everyone is waiting to hear who the next shady character to take over the job is going to be. MORE »

* Where the hell is the Stephen Colbert video from the WHCA dinner? That video is now available on “public service” C-SPAN’s website for $24.95. Thanks cable industry! [Boing Boing] MORE »

How you like that? We show a bunch of smarmy New Yorkers nothing but hospitality, and how do they repay us? By running three smarmy pieces about how lame our big party was on Saturday in their smarmiest and most financially unstable paper. Sure, we love the attention, but the Observer seems to be acting all superior to us just because they’re skinnier and dress better.

First off, Chris Lehmann’s review of the Prom reception, dinner, and afterparty. We remember him skulking around Bloomberg — seemed like a shifty and untrustworthy sort. But this anecdote rings true to us:

The day’s festivities stretched all the way back to noon, with the kickoff brunch hosted by MSNBC producer Tammy Haddad. The defining moment of that event was the arrival of former Niger Ambassador Joe Wilson, husband of C.I.A. officer Valerie Plame. He walked up Ms. Haddad’s slate sidewalk in D.C.’s swank Palisades neighborhood; he sported a Palm Beach-style untucked Hawaiian shirt and brandished a cigar. He approached the tent where D.C.’s various media personages, pols and celebrity-esque hangers-on congregated.

Mr. Wilson took a quick, disenchanted look at his lit stogie and tossed it into Ms. Haddad’s flowerbed.

It wasn’t a gesture of confrontation so much as simple ambient sourness. But it served as another signature moment, six years into a flailing Bush Presidency, where the Washington zeitgeist might best be summed up in two words: “Fuck it.”

Hell, we’ll agree with that. We’re pretty sure the only person in Washington who still likes their job is Patrick Fitzgerald.

After the jump, the assault continues with a knock on our style and a trip to an Adams-Morgan Young Republican party.

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