Tag Archives: what’s the matter with kansas

  All Over But the Shouting

Panty Prosecutor Wins, Evolution-Dumper Loses: Your Lesser Candidate Wrap-Up!

It occurred to us that we have not followed up on some very important electoral news: Namely, the fate of several candidates who nobody had ever heard of until they briefly shone in the “weird news” column, and then disappeared from view. What happened to those wackos with all their wackiness? Let it never be said that Your Wonkette doesn’t follow up! Read more on Panty Prosecutor Wins, Evolution-Dumper Loses: Your Lesser Candidate Wrap-Up!…
  Purity of Essence

Wichita Ponders Great Question Of Our Time: Water Fluoridation

Election Sideshow Update: The city of Wichita, Kansas, is voting on a ballot measure that would, if passed, add fluoride to the city’s water for the first time since the John Birch Society pushed a referendum to ban fluoride in 1964. The measure, which deals with an issue that most municipalities in the country decided fifty years ago, was placed before the voters as the result of a petition drive by doctors and dentists, after the City Council had punted on the matter for decades. Happily, in today’s more-enlightened times, the citizens are discussing the measure solely on its scientific merits, free of the paranoia and hyperbole of those earlier debates. Ha-ha, we are joking — of course people are going bugfuck crazy over this. Read more on Wichita Ponders Great Question Of Our Time: Water Fluoridation…
  Pitching Wu

Kansas School Board Candidate Will Solve Budget Problems By Eliminating Evolution

Jack Wu, an actual candidate for Kansas’s state school board, pledges on his very impressive homemade website to do something about the most serious problem facing the schools today: The current public educational system in Kansas and the United States is preparing its students to be liars, crooks, thieves, murderers, and perverts. And how will he address this specific set of issues? My mission, in running for the Kansas State Board of Education, is to throw out the crap that teachers are feeding their students and replace it with healthy good for the soul knowledge from the holy scriptures. Read more on Kansas School Board Candidate Will Solve Budget Problems By Eliminating Evolution…
  those wacky gentiles

Kansas Fetus Memorial To Be Classy, Jew-y

Your Comics Curmudgeon is of Hebrew extraction, in part, and considers himself lucky to live in the time and place where he does! For instance: for most of history, if you were a Jew who encountered a really religious Christian, or a Christian really focused on Jewry, probably you were going to get forcibly converted, or ordered to live in an actual ghetto, or maybe just lynched for poisoning all the wells with bubonic plague. But in early 21st century America, more often than not, your Jew-focused gentile is more likely to talk about how neat the Chosen People are, what with their covenant with the Lord and such. Sure it’s secretly about Jesus’s long-term plan for the apocalypse, but still: beats having your village burned down by Cossacks, right? So, yes, anti-abortion nuts in Wichita are trying to build a copy of the Western Wall at some hilariously awful Kansas memorial to unborn victims of the Abortio-caust, and professionally irritated people like ADL head Abe Foxman deem this offensive, but we think it’s super hilarious. Read more on Kansas Fetus Memorial To Be Classy, Jew-y…
  legalize it

Topeka Gov’t Wonders, ‘Legalize It?’ About Domestic Violence

Many Americans have long argued that the decriminalization of certain routine behaviors would provide economic relief to local governments that spend gazillions of dollars throwing people in jail for doing things that really shouldn’t be such a big deal. Well, America, the great minds of Topeka, Kansas are finally listening: Possibly soon, recreational wife (or husband!) beating will be totally fine in the eyes of the law, because apparently no one can afford to prosecute that nonsense anymore. Read more on Topeka Gov’t Wonders, ‘Legalize It?’ About Domestic Violence…
  this will work out just fine

New Kansas Concealed-Carry Gun Permit Policy: No Policy

In the evolution-free state of Kansas, lawmakers have decided that when it comes to concealed-carry gun permits, “no tests whatsoever required, probably let’s just mail permits to our constituents with the Christmas card” is a better policy than asking people to prove they can hit a few targets at close range. People can figure out for themselves whether they’re “capable” of carrying around a concealed gun, lawmakers said. Self-regulating gun licensing, this has always been a no-fail idea. Read more on New Kansas Concealed-Carry Gun Permit Policy: No Policy…
  Democracy Safari 2010

Meet Joan Heffington, Brownback Challenger and Colleague of ‘GOD’

The year A.D. 2010 will surely go down in the history book-blogs as the Year of the Exotic Candidate, when a survey of the American voting landscape became something akin to taking a glorious safari tour through a parallel universe or maybe a different galaxy. Our latest unusual specimen is Kansas gubernatorial candidate Joan Heffington, who runs a nonprofit listing GOD as a board member. Let’s learn more! Read more on Meet Joan Heffington, Brownback Challenger and Colleague of ‘GOD’…